Do guys hate when a girl is complaining too much?

[Anonymous]

Do guys go distant? And can we make up if he said I dump everytime everything to him? I sent like 40+ messages daily and complained a lot to him we have been fighting since end August but I want to make up but he says he is busy with work since August.

[sage2021]

What if she is constantly complaining because of the things you do that piss her off?

I don't just go walking around my apartment complaining. No, it's only when he did things that pissed me off, which got to be a lot!
What kind of person sneaks off to the bathroom and eats raw chocolate chip cookie dough (that comes refrigerated), drops pieces of it on our brand new bathroom rugs, walks it into the rugs with his shoes on, then a few days later I find the first cockroach in by bathroom after never seeing one before in the 7 years of living here.
Is that kind of stuff worth complaining about? Huh? Huh? Huh? Your damn right it is.
And no, the cookie dough didn't come out when washed in the washing machine.

Next...

[Asker]

Hahahahaha I died

[provokeesmokee]

Jesus, 40 messages and most of those are complaints?

My best and most communicative partner yet at most exchanged 20-30 messages. And that's memes plus organizing logistics. Maybe two messages of complaints.

Guy or not, most humans would find that overbearing and annoying.

You sound like you need someone to rant to more than a boyfriend. Maybe use AI generators to vent to, or pay a therapist to listen to you.

A boyfriend isn't just there for one sided complaints about your life.

[Peter_Penetrator]

I refuse to be a woman’s psychologist. I am not in a relationship to fix her problems. Now, if she just feels the need to be heard, l can listen. Being able to vent to someone properly is therapeutic. Blowing up his phone with 40+ messages a day is not respectful. Don’t cross any boundaries.


Don’t nitpick everything by being petty, especially about him. Learn to pick your battles. If he leaves his dirty underwear on the floor, pick them up if it bothers you so much.


If he beats on you, cheats on you, neglects you, is mentally abusing you, is an alcoholic, a drug addict, talks shit about you, then you are in a bad situation.

[Malwi93]

What? U r not supposed to help people in problems in relationships

[Peter_Penetrator]

You can try to help but l was married for 18 years and she never accepted my help.

[Naruse]

Yeah of course. This isn't specific to women. I've been accused of trauma dumping and told to fuck off and talk to a psychiatrist before. Too be fair to them you'd probably act the same way if someone was consistently ruining your mood. Being perpetually dour isn't exactly an attractive trait and as shitty as it feels to point out most other people don't really want to deal with your shit. With all that said it's a balancing act, if your partner were totally unsupportive in any respect then they'd just be an arsehole. I guess it's complicated and depends on the person you're with.

[Asker]

Yeah but if I love someone I would listen to their trauma and not only say one word. Can he still like me after that after fighgst?

[Naruse]

It's entirely plausible people react to shit in different ways and things tend to be complicated if they have a lack of understanding of mental health stuff especially if you overshare. Hell a lot of people just hear depression or anxiety and think 'well everyone gets sad everyone has anxieties get over it, I did.' but this can be due to a fundamental misunderstanding of what either diagnosis means. If you get along well with your partner the rest of the time which it sounds like you do then couples therapy can be really useful. To have a trained professional in the room with you to explain how it works specifically can dissuade a lot of the general antipathy people can have towards the subject and help you communicate what you are feeling in a structured setting.

[Asker]

Yeah I understand I am wrong for being like that and should fix it. We are in no contact for 2 days bc I have to fix it.

[MikeTheBartender]

Humans hate when humans complaint too much. The complaints aren't the problem here though fighting for two straight months is a BIG problem. especially at your age. assuming no kids? Married yet? If there are that many issues this early on, it is not going to get better as you get older. It might be best to consider breaking up. Fights shouldn't last two months

Answer my newest if you have a sec

What's the longest someone has stalked you that you never met or barely knew?

[Asker]

One day we make up, others we fight bc he doesn't answer for 12 hours or more so I am overthinking. I don't know if we should take a break and be together when it is better.

[Inbox]

@MikeTheBartender Yeah, and the Asker sent FORTY plus messages in one day! I’d run away. Even on my worst day I’d never sent AND received that many texts in one day.

[MikeTheBartender]

amen

[BoopBoopBeep]

Yes that's emotionally exhausting. Do you want to listen to somebody complain all day? No? Then why would you think we do? Then they act all confused and surprised when we leave them for someone who DOES enjoy life and is actually enjoyable to be around. I mean who would have thought?

[Asker]

Yeah but I have been through emotional trauma before and it triggered me and I didn't want this to happen...

[BoopBoopBeep]

That really sucks for you. I mean that, I'm not being sarcastic. Whatever the "but" is, never matters. I may not want it to happen when I burn your house down, but you're still living in the streets tonight. That's why therapists get paid, which your man is not, so don't expect him to sit through all that shite for free, it's not his job and it's not his responsibility. Apparently, he hasn't wanted to sit through it since August, and I can't say I blame him.

[Asker]

Yeah I am bad... but he wouldn't answer me 24 hours sometimes or really dry so

[Asker]

Before my overthinking and leaving

[BoopBoopBeep]

That should have been an indicator that, as the saying goes, he was getting sick of your shite.

[eternal_heck]

40 messages is excessive. I think anyone would dislike someone complaining a lot - men, women, partners, friends. If he started taking his time to reply to you after that, I can understand why - nobody would want to talk to someone who complains a lot. Complaining certainly isn’t going to help him want to talk to you. It’ll also just cause arguments.

[Truthatanycost]

I have a zero toxicity policy in my life. I do not tolerate complaints or arguments so she wouldn't be anywhere near me in the first place. If she isn't peaceful, then she isn't in my life.

[Anonymous]

Some guys may find it frustrating when someone, regardless of gender, complains excessively. It's important to maintain a balance and communicate openly in a relationship to ensure that both parties feel heard and understood. Excessive complaining can be a strain on any relationship, so it's advisable to address concerns constructively.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I think I’m general both genders hate it when people complain too much. What I don’t like when it comes to women is when every single little thing is a big issue. That’s what I don’t like.

[LiamJHayden]

Depends about the subject. If it's about some genuinely bad stuff in her life that is not self-inflicted, that is fine. If it about me, she can go find a better guy.

[Asker]

It is about both but not more as him I mean time he gives me.

[DryGermanGuy]

"I like it quiet in the morning."

- Frank Martin, The Transporter

[spartan55]

Would you want to listen to someone bitch at you all the time?

[Billlewis]

No, because it means she expects more, and she probably deserves it.

[Flatmanlewis]

You can be happy or you can be right. Not both. Pick your battles.

[nevooo]

doesn't everyone hate listening to complaining non stop.

[jeffend888]

Lol busy with work since August. What is he, the president?

[Asker]

He does fieldwork and finish uni.

[ReverseCowboy]

Yes! Life is hard but it's even harder when you can't see anything positive at all...

[Anonymous]

Lol what? Who r we supposed to vent to if not to a boyfriend

[Asker]

Right.. lol thats why I feel sad bc when I am happy and doing good he says okay and he is threre but when I am complaining not bc I hate him but bc I am feeling hurt with his actions he doesn't want to communicate and ignores me.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Being with a girl who constantly complains is exhausting.

[sage2021]

What if she has a long term illness that keeps her in bed most of the time? Of course she's going to complain if you want to call it complaining. Maybe she's in pain and can't stand it anymore? And you are full of energy and tell her how great YOU feel? La de dah! Good for you!
What's worse - a bragger or a complainer?
What if you keep telling her how you LOVE taking care of her because he loves her so much and everything is fine between them, then he meets someone else, but doesn't let her know exactly. Just enough to know there is something going on, but she's stuck in bed and the other one has a 4 wheel drive SUV.
Is that complaining?

[Opinion Owner]

I'm pretty sure asker is more talking about the kind of woman who is constantly nagging and is impossible to please.

[ProbablyClueless]

Yes, that gets really draining.

[Fuentes]

Nagging chick's are annoying.

[dolemite58]

duh nobody likes a negative nancy

[Anonymous]

Omg you're such a drama n headache

[Asker]

Thank you

[Masterodd]

Yes we do.

[Luckycharms12]

Yes of course