Is it possible you’re not seen as relationship material?

[Anonymous]

I’ve noticed that about myself. I’m only seen as either friend material or sexual material.

[ZackBan]

I sum it up like this (and it's my own theory)

You have an attractiveness meter and a quality meter.

If you're attractive but not necessarily high quality you'll be seen as a sex object.

If both are low you'll be seen as a friend.

And if both are high you're wife/husband material.

But what defines quality? (Since attractiveness is pretty obvious)
I would say it's having substance, standards, a cultural varnish, morals, values, personality, charisma, a sense of humor...
All the things that you learn from your parents and your environment and your life experience.

What's nice is that both meters are within your control so ultimately you're the one who can either set yourself as a potential partner or a disposable lover

[Asker]

I guess my meter is low because I never been in a relationship before.

[ZackBan]

Right but which one?
Have you had sexual partners in the past?
Or are you a lifelong celibate who people see as a friend?

[Asker]

The second one. I’m more seen as a friend.

[ZackBan]

Well then you're in luck. You get to become anything you want to be.
Since you don't come with a lot of negative baggage all you need is to work on your looks and your substance, you'll be the dream wife in no time.

We can't see you well in the pic but I can tell you're blond with colored eyes, both classically attractive traits.
So start by getting your hair done, get a skin routine going, a healthy diet, and somewhat trendy fashion.
All super easy to do.
Next you work on your culture: read more, join activities, take classes, do things that improve your general mental faculties.
Also not hard to do but takes more time.
Once both are on point you'll just need a big enough stick to beat away the exess of men (and women) that will be intersting in you

[Asker]

Can I just stay single instead of going through all that?

[Asker]

That sounds really exhausting.

[Asker]

Plus, I’m already doing everything I can to take care of myself. I already got my hair done by dying it red. I got burnt out so I went back to my natural color.

[ZackBan]

Are you asking for permission? 😅
Of course you can stay single.
And yes it's actually an effort.
But you gotta ask yourself: is your life everything you want it to be?
If so then good. If not then the effort just might be worth it 😉

[Asker]

No, I wasn’t asking permission. It was more rhetorical than anything.
I’m just done with pleasing people. I fall into depression and I refuse to go down that road again.
I’m that type of person if you like me, fine. If not, also fine.

[Asker]

If I have to put that much effort just to waste my mental energy, fuck it! I’m staying single.

[ZackBan]

I hope you don't confuse my advice with a suggestion to change who you are.

Self improvement isn't change. You shouldn't fit a mold that you don't want.

All I'm saying is aim to be good at what you do love

[Asker]

Self improvement I can do. But, I don’t ever want to do just to get a guy. I’ve done that before and I got depressed real fast.

[NathanDavis]

I am relationship material for sure...

however, there will be millions!! of women out there that will not see me as the relationship material for them, and that is completely and absolutely fine

because I don't need a whole bunch of women wanting to be with me... I only need one, lol

[RedInnocent68]

There is a middle, and if you’ve been seen as both, you definitely are! Relationship material. Best to focus on friends though and see where things go. It’s more difficult to move in the other direction, and there’s a lot of creeps out there only interested in sex.

[exitseven]

I never thought of myself as relationship material. I was always somebody who would always be alone and would never get married of even have a stable relationship. All it took was meeting the right person.

[Uby10000]

You gotta stick with what you like. Be patient and find someone who cares about you in the actual way, even though it's extremely hard nowdays...

[Joshydavid25]

Yeah it definitely seems that way for me. But we are all relationship material to somebody... One day they will come..

[JacobJordan]

you are relationship material for someone provided you don't make the mistakes of modern women

[Darkside2543]

So why can’t you be wife material and also do sexual stuff or be there for “sexual material” like you say

[Asker]

Well, some guy has to like me enough to make me his wife. Which I honestly don’t see that happening.

[Darkside2543]

Why not

[TheGuyYouCrave]

Yeah, its call being a friend, or an intimate. Also, its not possible to be seen not been seen as a sex symbol on my part. Less smiling, more thinking sasha0426

[rebeliouse]

any idea why your not relationship material?

[Asker]

Maybe I’m giving off that kind of vibe.

[jjj101010]

If people like u as a friend and people want to have sex with u then u r relationship material

[Jennz6]

friends with benefits? Sounds familiar

[Asker]

I never had guys who wanted to be FWBs.

[Jennz6]

I had lots of guys that wanted me to be friends with benefits

[Mark987]

When I was younger for sure.. but not now.

[BLP11520]

You can be that

[Asker]

It would make sense.

[andre-48]

You think you are only sexual material?

[Asker]

Either that or friend material.

[andre-48]

I reckon you would be pretty good in bed 🙈

[Asker]

Nah, I’m inexperienced. I would be a big disappointment.

[andre-48]

I would like to give you a go in bed

[Asker]

I rather kill myself

[YAsQuen]

your ran through

[Asker]

Am I though? 🤔

[YAsQuen]

sorry ´U look ran through`

[Asker]

Ok 👍
You’re not the first one who has called me a whore.

[YAsQuen]

i answered ur question miss

[Asker]

Ok 👍

[Asker]

But, it’s funny you say that since you don’t know me. But, whatever makes you feel better I guess.

[YAsQuen]

are u a feminist?

[Asker]

No 🤨

[YAsQuen]

where do u usually meet new people. Even if ur not a feminist ur attitude is atrocious like u are one.

Ran through refers to women that got hurt through casual sex. doesn't necesarily mean lots and lots. 1-3 times is plenty for some to cause mental issues.

[Asker]

Alright, fine. I’m a whore. You happy, now? Jesus fucking Christ, dude 😒

[YAsQuen]

literally trying to help

[Asker]

I meet people in Cancun, Mexico. And I come back knocked up.

[YAsQuen]

im sorry u let yourself get hurt. U have to accept responsibility and u will move forward.

[Asker]

Eh, it’s cool. I got a sugar daddy.

[YAsQuen]

he won't give u a family

[Asker]

Ok, this is getting boring.
All of that was said to me by friends who I trusted. And I find it hilarious that you actually believed every word that I said.

[Asker]

I was just repeating what they said to me. But, if you still want to believe I’m a whore, I can’t stop you. You can believe whatever you want about me if it makes you happy.

[YAsQuen]

thank you madame very gracious of you

[Asker]

You’re welcome. You can be exactly like my “friends” and assume shit about everyone and make up crazy scenarios to make yourself feel better. Because that’s what they did with me.

[YAsQuen]

i never belived the mexico stuff. It was stand alone comment. U got hurt and now u have put all these walls up. Ur damaged by casual sex.

[Asker]

See? There you go with assumptions. But, whatever. People make bad assumptions about me all the time.

[Asker]

I guess I’m the villain in everyone’s story. Which is fine but I just hope they tell the truth on why I’m the villain.

[YAsQuen]

Well u seem unstable. How did u get like this`? Feel free to fill me in.

[Asker]

Nah, you won’t believe me anyway.

[YAsQuen]

try me. Im assuming somethung something men bad but pease prove me wrong

[Asker]

Why should I after you calling me a whore right off the bat?

[YAsQuen]

i told u wht u look like. Maybe it helps you. Harsh truths often times hurt.

[Asker]

Alright, what else do you know about me?

[YAsQuen]

im assuming ur 30. With little sexual experience. Not many if any friends. Lonely bored. Asking on the nose question looking for trouble. Slightly delusional.

good chance ur a 55 year old male troll for all i know.

[YAsQuen]

and ur profilepic looks like u have given up on life.

[Asker]

Keep going. Sounds like you know me better than those who’ve known me forever.

[Asker]

Where was I born? What’s my dog’s name? What’s my favorite color? Tell me everything you know about me.

[YAsQuen]

Ohio Lassy green

I told u everything im assuming ;c U gotta fill me in or let up lady

[Asker]

No way! This is too much fun. Keep going. Tell me more.

[Asker]

When’s my birthday? Which schools did I go to? What year did I graduate high school?

[Asker]

Well, come on. You’ve known me your whole life so you gotta know the answers to these questions.

[YAsQuen]

miss are u ok? You seem lost do u need directions? Can i help you in anyway?

[Asker]

Aww, what? I thought you knew me so well. I guess not ☹️

[YAsQuen]

Doctor we are losing him !!
*pushes hot nurse aside
Give him 55 cc Abernephrian
*pulls out defi and starts rubbing the plates together

[Asker]

LMAO 🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[riverrat3]

How do you feel about that

[Asker]

I guess it sucks but it is what it is. And there’s nothing I can do about it, really.

[riverrat3]

Which would you prefer,

[riverrat3]

Would you rather be a friend or a sexual partner

[Asker]

A friend

[riverrat3]

Then just be nice to people

[Asker]

How am I not nice? 🤨

[Asker]

I also want to point out that this has been always a thing for me.

[riverrat3]

I never said you were not nice

[riverrat3]

Does it get frustrating

[Asker]

I’m practically used to it. I don’t get my hopes up anymore.

[riverrat3]

Do you have good guy friends

[Asker]

Yeah but we don’t hang out or talk to each other much.

[riverrat3]

Do you hav a friends with benefits

[Asker]

Nah, nothing like that.

[riverrat3]

Would you be up for one

[riverrat3]

Not an offer, just curious

[Asker]

Not ready

[Asker]

*really

[riverrat3]

Take care

[Tstrbrainer]

friends with benefits?

[eagle1951]

oh i'm sure