How do I ask him to hang out with me?

[Anonymous]

I really want to spend time with him away from everyone else but I don’t know how to ask him to hang out with me. I’m afraid if I just ask “Will you hang out with me” it will sound desperate. I think he likes me, but if doesn’t then I don’t want it to come off as I like him. I honestly just want to hang out with him as friends for right now. I just don’t know how to ask him without sounding like I’m asking him on a date. What should I do? I don’t have his number either and I only see him once a week and it’s always around both of our parents. (Which makes me even more nervous).

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm I get where you're coming from, that can definitely be a tricky situation. Since you only see him once a week with other people around, that does make it harder to ask privately.

A couple ideas - next time you see him, you could casually bring up doing something together after school or on the weekend. Maybe be like "hey, some friends and I are going to check out that new movie/game this weekend, you should come too if you're free". That way it's not just the two of you, so feels lower pressure.

Or, you could ask for his number by saying something like "we should plan what we're all doing after the big game next Friday, can I get your number to discuss details?". Then once you've chatted a bit over text, it makes hanging out one-on-one seem more natural to suggest.

Either way, try not to overthink it or put too much pressure on it being a date. Just keep it casual like you're interested in being friends too. I'm sure if he likes you, he'd be open to hanging more! You got this!

[Sofargone93]

If you tell him directly you want to hang out he'll respect you more for being honest. Tell him why but don't be so serious about it. If he's interested he'll take the initiative to make something happen. If not nothing changes. It's not asking him on a date if you don't say a date. you could go anywhere as friends.

[Asker]

Would asking him to go do something fun that he likes doing be too much? Lol I don’t wanna be awkward. And you think he won’t take it as a date? I’m scared hahha. Thank you for your reply :)

[Sofargone93]

I was going to say. Ask him what type of stuff he's into and find something you can both do together that would be fun. You don't know how refreshing it would make a male feel to have a woman make the first move for once. It will catch him off guard.

[Sofargone93]

It seems like your in the boys shoes for once 😜

[Asker]

He was telling me today about an activity he likes to do so I was thinking about asking to do that. I’m gonna offer to pay half the gas too even though I know he won’t take it. If he says yes and doesn’t like give me his number or something, do I just go like “here let me give you my number so we can make plans”? I don’t want to be too awkward. I’ve always been shy so I’m trying to work up the courage to ask him. He’s a really sweet guy, I just don’t want to weird him out if he doesn’t like me. He’s given me some signs that he does (scooting closer to talk to me, sitting beside me to eat, inviting me to sit with him and others, etc..) , but I have a lot of anxiety and nervousness so usually when I talk to him I kind of fidget and look away subconsciously. My best friend says he probably thinks I’m not into him because I lowkey act uninterested when I don’t mean to. Thank you for your help <3

[Sofargone93]

Imagine both of you thinking the same thing. You both will have something to laugh about lol. Tell him what your intentions are and give him your number. If he's scooting close to you then of coarse he's interested. 2 shy people don't make a right lol. If this turns out that you both like each other but are too shy to realize it.. that is how marriages start. 😜

[Asker]

Aweeee! I would love that. The only thing is he’s thinking about moving to a different city soon (about a couple hours away from me.) Do you think it’s ok to still try to get to know him? I know some people have long distance relationships. I’m just scared he isn’t thinking about a relationship. But regardless I want to be his friend. He’s really nice so I think he’ll at least agree to hang with me at least once. Thank you for all of your replies, it means a lot :)

[Sofargone93]

Then be his friend. All you have to do is support his decision and have his back. There's a saying.
Don't walk to far in front of me because I may not follow , don't walk to far behind because I may not lead.. but stand beside me and be my friend.

[Uby10000]

Try to find a common interest in going to a place, and propose it (i don't know what examples to make but maybe both of you saw a new movie you are interested about? Maybe you like the same sport?)

[Asker]

I’m thinking of asking him to go to a place he likes. Thank you for your help that encouraged me <3

[Uby10000]

you got this girl

[Asker]

thank you so much for the kindness and words of encouragement I really appreciate you 🥹❤️

[sabah66]

You’re texting each other sometimes? No?

[Asker]

No I don’t have his number yet :(

[sabah66]

So you don’t have to think too much about this, ask him about his interests, and find something in common between you to , to make you two hang out together and this is gonna build something to know each other more ,

[Asker]

I’m thinking about going somewhere I know he likes. Thank you for your help :)