So I am a 19 year old and I am a bit chubby. Like I am 5'2 with 66 kgs. I feel like no one likes me. I do have some good features. am I worthy?

[Anonymous]

so i am a 19 year old and i am a bit chubby. Like i am 5'2 with 66 kgs. i feel like no one likes me. I do have some good features which i do get compliments about but sometimes its just that everyone has someone who likes them and i dont and that makes me feel so ugly. i am not dumb at all i am pretty much in the smart category and many people have said that i have a resting bitch face but also that i seem very friendly and fun which turned out to be true after they befriended me. what is wrong with me?

[BoopBoopBeep]

Well, unless you've got a lot of muscle, that's overweight at 26.5 BMI. Only you know what amount of that is fat and what part is muscle. Typically when people get in better shape, they feel better about themselves, so if that's something you need to do, comig from someone who was obese as a kid, I think that's a great idea.

People want to treat RBF like some sort of incurable disability. No. You want to be approached more (by men or women, for friendship or otherwise) then you have to be more approachable, so work on that.

I'm not going to blow sunshine up your arse like a bunch of people on here are going to because that doesn't do any favors for you, and people blowing sunshine up my arse as a kid caused me a lot more work needing to be done than if someone had just been straight with me to begin with. Either way it all ends the same. Best of luck on your journey.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Thank you for MHO :)

[Asker]

i just have one question, how hard will this journey be?

[BoopBoopBeep]

For you way less. I was super out of shape and really in my shell after all the bullying I got in school. I basically had to fix a wrecked car and it took the better part of a year. You're fixing a flat tire with a second-rate jack. You can get there real quick. Of course, like anything else in life, you get out of it what you put into it. Go to a social setting like a wine bar or something and just practice being sociable with strangers. Just one a day if that's all you can muster. Bookstores used to be good for that but so many of them just seem transactional now a days with nobody really hanging out, so your mileage may vary on that one. I do charity races every weekend (except this one because I'm flying) and I meet a crap ton of people there. Everybody is in a good mood because they're on that high and everyone wants to be there enjoying the suck together. Think about that good and hard. A 5k if that's all you can do. Walk it if you have to. Plenty of other people there will be as well. F it. Doesn't matter. The community is super accepting of that if you don't want to get judged for being slow. I did a marathon one time with a woman who had polio as a kid and her legs were all f'ed up. Took her 12 hours. I thought she was the most badass person out there, personally and she said it was her 30th or 31st one. Go to the expo, hang out at the after party, you'll have plenty of opportunity to approach people and be approached. (Don't forget the antiRBF stuff.)

Like animals? Go volunteer at the shelter. Animals make people feel good and the people that are there share a common interest with you. More reason to engage with you. Like art? Join the local museum. I don't know... you know you better than I know you. The point is to get you out there in tailored situations where you are with a subset of strangers, strangers you share something in common with.

[Asker]

well that was so helpful!! i can assume the hell you went with but slayed anyways

[BoopBoopBeep]

Yeah it sucked a lot at the time. Roughest year of my life by far, and I spent 9 years in a warzone so that says something. End result was so worth it though. I'm loving life like there's no tomorrow now. You're going to be amazed where you are 6 months from now

[Asker]

you must be so proud of yourself

[BoopBoopBeep]

Meh... a little. To be honest I don't look back, so I'm far more focused on who I want to be tomorrow and what path I need to take to get there than I am on what path I already took. I have three big races that I'm prepping for and I'm making a jungle gym for my rescue kittens, so I want all those to be successful. Have some side projects I'm finishing up for extra income streams, and of course the holidays are right around the corner, so that keeps my busy. Haha, and my job, of course. Just not a lot of time for reflecting on the past as much as concentrating on the future. I've nearly died enough times to know that's not promised to us, so I want to make the most of what I have.

[Asker]

staying in the present... thats a skill to be learnt which is very hard to even though as easy it sounds, it isn't

[BoopBoopBeep]

I suppose. Always seemed pretty counterproductive to do at any great length... stay in the past i mean. Learn from your mistakes, sure, but you aren't going to change anything. It's done. Every moment you're wallowing over that is a moment you're not putting that energy into excelling, which is why I'm not going to sit around and navel-gaze. Once you have a few reminders of how limited your time on this rock is you cut out a lot of the BS in your life.

[AaronKrieger]

I have known girls who weigh more than you at your height and had no problem dating. Your problem could be how you are approaching dating:
- Fashion style (this includes hairstyle)

- How fun you are (I mean conversationally, so your mindset/habits)

- Your personality (I do not mean your entire personality, but you could have negative traits)

- Not meeting enough people or showing signs of interest in people you do like


Seriously, you not unworthy even if you were 20kg heavier. Your body doesn't dictate your self-worth. It's who you are as a person that does.

[petitedollbabee]

Nothings wrong with you. 66kg for your height is not overweight, i would consider it to be a healthy weight, regardless of what some pig-headed guys or girls may think. It just sounds like you’re suffering from low self esteem. I would recommend that you seek out some sort of therapy or counselling from a mental health professional, and you take some time out of each day to practice some self care - self care looks different for everyone so it is up to you as to what you enjoy doing.

[Lisia]

I think there are people who like you, they just don't tell you.

[Lisia]

Thanks for the mho!

[Billlewis]

5'2" and 166 KG's? That's well over 300, isn't it? I think your dimensions are absolutely perfect -- please don't change anything, you're utterly perfect the way you are ❤️

[Asker]

66 :)

[Billlewis]

Sorry, I meant 66. 66 times 2.2 pounds... that's what, about 150-160? Still very impressive;)

[slatyb]

You are totally worthy. There's nothing wrong with you. You just need to meet more people. Friendly, fun, smart? Then you have a lot to offer.

[Anonymous]

Everyone is worthy! And you're no different.

[Anonymous]

More for the grippin
You bouncy & squishy that’s a +1

[Tim2nice]

You are a goddess

[YAsQuen]

its probably ur personality and not your looks