What can I do if my online boyfriend spent our anniversary with his online girl best friend?

[AppleJacks2222]

I have a long-distance boyfriend and we have been together for 6 months. The other day was our 6-month anniversary, and I was planning a date on VR. I know dating online like this isn't easy or even a good idea half the time, but it works for me. I was and still am sick with a cold or COVID, so I wanted to go to bed early. I did, but we were on a call so I could talk to him if I woke up. I woke up a few times and got his attention but come to find out he was on the game spending the rest of the night with his girl best friend on VR. At first, he didn't tell me that and said he wasn't doing anything important, but that felt wrong, so I asked again. That is when he told me he was with his friend. It hurt a lot because it was on our 6th month anniversary, and he spent it with another girl doing I don't know what. I cried and he said he was sorry and made a dumb decision. I can tell he really does feel bad, but a part of me feels like he would do it again.

For extra context:

-The friend is a few years older than us, and they have no romantic feelings for each other.

- The friend is already in a very committed relationship with two people

-Me and the friend aren't on the best terms because of a prior issue

I feel betrayed, confused, and just sad. Should I just get over it? If I do how do I go about that? I'm scared at night to fall asleep because I think he is going to run off to her.

Sorry for any bad grammar or spelling. As you know being sick gives you brain fog. Thank you for any advice honestly.

[Flatmanlewis]

My humble opinion:
A) You can’t do a thing except break up.
B) I’ll admit that I’m old enough to not live in this digital realm but, I don’t think of an online relationship as being a ‘real’ one. You can’t really get to know someone via a computer or phone, at their core levels. You miss understanding their body language; bonding over food, dates, and shared experiences; physical closeness which is a vital component to a romantic relationship; and you don’t get to learn their daily routines and the experience of shared proximity. There are many acts which are generally exclusive to a romantic couple which are physical such as holding hands, making love, kissing, and all the little PDAs of love.


Speaking to people over a phone or device it’s very hard to share anything truly special as the medium has limitations that cannot be worked around. An LDR with a solid foundation can probably survive but a LDR without the basis and assured return to a physical presence seems doomed to me.


C) Lastly, you would need to define a few things with him. First of all, as a man, we don’t mark half way points (like a six month anniversary) and so honestly it’s kind of unrealistic to have expected him to recognize it at all. Is talking to a person a act of infidelity to you? What says one person is a problem and another is okay? Gender? Past history? You and their compatibility? It’s very easy for a woman and man to agree on certain physical boundaries (ie: no kissing, oil massages, or hand holding with others) it’s far more difficult in this scenario. (No gaming with other woman or sharing VR time.).


Speak openly and be honest in your opinions. Only then can you decide if this works for you two.

[Anonymous]

It's understandable that you feel hurt and betrayed. Communication is crucial in situations like this. Talk to your boyfriend about your feelings, express how his actions have affected you, and discuss your concerns about the future. It's important to have an open and honest conversation to understand each other's perspectives. If you're still unsure after the conversation, trust your instincts and evaluate whether the relationship is meeting your emotional needs. Taking care of your well-being is essential.

[PetLover24]

If the 2 of you have not met at least once physically then you're not boyfriend / girlfriend, you're not even friends. You're more strangers & at best acquaintances.

Yes you mention virtual reality. Big deal. So you can pretend to be together but you can't touch, etc. And virtual reality is just another take on altered reality - aka fantasy land.

As for the guy... he did what most guys do hoping to score.

That this other female is a tramp involved with 2 means your "boyfriend" is smarter than you in knowing he's a better chance of causal sex with her than ever meeting you.

[IslaTheWitch]

I try to understand what you see as a problem here.

That you went to sleep and he met his friend in VR?

Or that he didn't tell you?

You wrote that LDR works for you. Does it work for him?

You have bad relationship with this friend, but your boyfriend has a good one, should he leave his friend because you don't like them?

Did you try to talk with your boyfriend and ask all the question you have? Just in polite, not demanding way. The relationship is a voluntary union.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Quit this online thing and get into a real relationship, do not waste your time on Long Distance.

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you ever met him in person, face-to-face, hilding hands, smooching, etc?

[Anonymous]

(6 months is not an anniversary...)

anyways, he probably lied because he didn't want it to seem weird that he was indeed hanging out with a girl while waiting for you to wake up. a girl you didn't like but who is his best friend. not quite sure what he's supposed to do in the meantime. ignore his friend who wanted to talk? he can talk to who he wants. this is also online, so more accessible to hang out with multiple people at once. if this was in person, different story. if this was a guy friend he was talking to on your anniversary, would it be different also?

regardless, hope you feel better and recover from covid quickly.

[RainbowSmile]

If there are no romantic feelings and he feels bad then I don’t think it was meant maliciously but the fact that he did t realize it would hurt you shows he is immature and I would be very careful about proceeding with an immature guy although most guys are emotionally dumb anyways. Best of
Luck

[Joshydavid25]

Nothing now, it's already done.. Although, I wouldn't have a girl best friend since my SO would be my best friend. I think you did overreact a bit since he probably didn't think much about it, and was just having a fun time with his friend I guess..

[MysteriousDarkness]

This online LDR comes across as you two having never meet in person. VR is not a date be ause you are still not in person. This is not a relationship. You two are acquaintances at best. Why not try to find so. eone you can actually go do things with in person offline and also not on VR.

[Paris13]

Not sure if you Both have Met Yet but it is Clear----She is Some Sort of Priority over you right now. Talk to Him. I have been In Online Relationships and I was Always a Priority if in a relationship. xxoo

[ItsBodieBrah]

in my opinion the whole online thing is unnatural and creepy. But whatever floats your boat. I personally think that spending your anniversary with another woman is a red flag so talk to him about it

[WhitneySnow]

If the friend is already in a committed relationship with two people, she might not mind adding a third (your boyfriend) to the mix. I would be wary of her.

[Anonymous]

An online boyfriend is not a boyfriend, he is barely a friend. Online people are only acquaintances at best.

[AppleJacks2222]

Hahah fair enough. I appreciate your opinion, but times have changed. People meet in so many different ways. I'm sorry that you can't connect to people in the same way I can :)

[PetLover24]

@applejacks2222 - you're not connected whatsoever. You're akin to a stranger someone knows via a game, hardly a friend

[Boomchakalaca]

6 month anniversary. Long distance online boyfriend. Lol?

[spartan55]

Why didn't you just call your real life in person boyfriend?

[sheikalana]

Get a life outside your phone and social media. You basically have an imaginary boyfriend. That’s weird.

[Anonymous]

Wait for him to fall asleep. Then take a Sharpie, draw a line from ear to ear across his throat. When he wakes up and eventually ask you WTF, look at him and say, “I can do it anytime!”

[rienna888]

Lmao very committed relationship to two people… bro you should try dating apps. This guy sounds like a total loser

[exitseven]

What a loser. You should not answer his texts anymore

[jahaims]

So you are upset he spent time playing games with a friend instead of paying attention to you while you were asleep. That is mental.

[Staximus]

There's no such thing as an online boyfriend. You can't be in a relationship with somebody you've never seen in real life

[he-takes-a-part]

Haha you already did... just crib around... call me we'll teach him lesson

[Light_beam]

A committed relationship with two? That made me laugh here 😀 ..