Recently just started talking to someone online. how long would you wait before you met them in person?

[Anonymous]

[DaveJord]

So honestly, I look at your age, you are 36 to 45. I am 47, and I have dated a lot, and I have had a lot more failure than success. Thats simple truth, but I am working on it.

How you meet them is important as well. How long have you known them; how well do you really know them? Did you meet them online? Do you work with them, do you have mutual freinds? I mean there are many factors and there is no right answer.

Back to my original point... your age. I will assume that by your age, you have real life experience behind you. You have real relationship experience behind you. I do most my dating online these days... like 99.9% of it. The older you get the harder it gets.

Most experts will say 2 to 3 weeks is optimal time frame for a first date. Some will say two weeks to 3 months... few will say more than one two months is bad. And for young people I would recommend the one to two weeks. But at my age... I mean I am not trying to really figure it out as much as I am trying to find the right person.

I for one, do not really feel that I can get to know someone without looking them in the eyes in person. Sure, through text and phone calls I can learn or come to know a lot of things about them, but I do not really feel I know someone until I look them in the eyes and meet them in person. And sometimes the more things you know about them before you meet them, can lead you in the wrong direction.

I have experimented with this a lot over the years. Any woman that does not want to meet after a week or two max of communicating is not someone I want to date. Speaks more to her level doubt then any one thing it has to do with me. Thats been my experience. The longer you speak to her without meeting the more she starts to form her own opinion about me... then meeting her becomes more about her confirming or dismissing her own opinion about me that she had before meeting.

So, for me the longer she needs, it's a RED FLAG. Because you can spend weeks talking about it, or you can meet me for a cup of coffee and learn more in 30 minutes without weeks of thinking about it.

I usually connect with someone, chat for a day or two, ask to exchange numbers then after a day or two, ask her out for a cup of coffee. At our age, if the person is really open to the possibility, they will commit to a first date sooner than later. If not, then that tells me she had doubts and anything I do or do not do from there... becomes more about her fears, hesitation and doubts and my ability to overcome them. Which honestly, if she was the right person for me... a lot of that stuff would be covered on the first date.

[OddBeMe]

Well your age you’re experienced enough to not be taken in by creeps. But creeps are still a potential danger to us all. So like a client who finds my agency online and calls me in for a meet it’s all about context.

Do they have contact info that lines up with reality? I wouldn’t go into a shit office park anymore than you should meet him at his country estate.

[Orangekiss]

As soon as both of you come to an agreement for that in which both of you would be comfortable doing so. In my opinion, it might be best to do it as soon as possible so there will be less time wasted if you don't click together. Nothing worse than dilly-dallying around for a month and THEN finding out you don't jive together. How many good matches did you pass up by doing so? 😘

[Socaljp]

Depends. There is no standard amount of wait time. When I was running on dating apps I always just let the woman mention it to me. Some are in a hurry to find someone and they are also in a hurry to meet up so they can quickly weed out the bad ones. Then there are some who take their time and you don't meet them for a month or two.

[Anonymous]

As long as it took her to be comfortable with it. I'm patient, but she does need to understand I will talk to other women. So while I understand and she can take her time. She runs the risk of losing me to another woman who works much faster. That's just the reality of dating.

[sawno]

Whenever it feels right, I always go text -> audio -> video -> in person with a bit of time in between.

[BarryLiverstone]

If the intention is to begin a romantic relationship, then I would want to meet them irl in the first two weeks of meeting them online.


Is that what you are asking?

[slatyb]

As little as possible. Communicating before meeting is a waste of time.

[tzdc21]

Until they verify that they're not fake, lol. I'd rather know that asap.

[Iron_Man]

You probably should do it now if not, it goes on and on and on

[Luckycharms12]

Wouldn't until liked and trusted them. Also meet in public places best

[ThrillSeeker01]

I'd wait until I feel that I know them pretty well