How long should you wait to meet someone you met online?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy online that I have been talking to and things are going well so far.

He has hinted he wants to meet up with me. He isn't pressuring me or anything but does seem interested in grabbing coffee or dinner or something.

I just began talking to him though. About how long should I wait to meet with him?

I'm a little nervous about meeting him in person lol, but I do like him so far. I just wanted to talk to him for a bit online first.

I also don't want to wait so long that he loses interest though. When would be a good time?

[Plato]

Well, weigh-in on the pros and cons. First, you like him, so it's a good thing, but do you like him for whatever he told you so far, and are you able to take his word for it? That's one question you might want to consider.

Next, you should pay a close attention to reading whatever he types, you can actually inductively tell what's going on in his mind, whether he's an incoherent, superstitious person, or if he's reasonable, rational, etc.

I'd watch for these two signs. Time isn't an issue really, if you find a reasonable guy, then you can meet him no problem. Just try and spot out the creeps.

[Asker]

Yeah definitely. I'm trying to see if he's genuine. I told him I'm not having casual sex with him and he's still making the effort to to talk to me and he flirts a little which is good..

I want to talk to him a little more to make sure he's not a weirdo for sure. I feel like a creep would be very insistent on meeting me and he's not like that which I like.

[Plato]

Well, my suggestion is, meet him in a public place during rush hour. This way you can't be hurt or followed, busy places tend to have police officers nearby etc. Or carry a mace (I believe that's legal in the U. S.).

Um... To be honest, we're all psychological weirdos, but it varies in degrees. I'd say the best way to catch a weirdo off-guard is to talk about some random topic that has a contentious issue, and to see how he handles it. If you can put up a philosophical conversation, see how he understands it, see his reaction, you can pick up if he's superstitious, stupid, ignorant, incoherent, etc. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

are you on a dating site? you have to meet the person eventually but best to get to know him better until you feel its right to meet, just dont take too long, a guy will eventually find another girl, being a guy id like to meet a girl online in person in about a few days (unless everything goes well than its sooner) but during those few days id want to get to know her first, it could take a little longer if im unsure about her you just never know with people

[Asker]

I'm not on a dating site. I just met him online!

[Asker]

I was thinking of talking to him for two to three weeks or so just to decently get to know him and make sure he's sincere. Do you think that's too long?

I just want to make sure he is really interested in me before I invest my time in meeting him.

[Opinion Owner]

there's nothing wrong with that just make sure you tell him you want to do things that way so he doesn't get the wrong idea

[Asker]

Yup already did :)

[Opinion Owner]

ok, good than your all set

[tothemoonandback]

It depends on the situation I guess. Have you seen him by video chatting? Like first make sure he's 100% not catfishing you. Then if you know that it doesn't really matter when you see him as long as he doesn't know where you live and you meet in a safe, public area. Just meet him whenever you feel most comfortable. c:

[Asker]

I haven't video chatted him but we are friends on Facebook. We have a couple mutual friends so I'm pretty sure he is who he says he is!

[rgb008]

I'd say whenever the two of you are comfortable. Maybe about a month or two, if you feel like you're ready to meet him by then.

[TurbulentDan12]

I think you should send enough messages to get a feel for the type of person before meeting them. Just so you aren't caught off guard by their personality meeting them and you don't waste your time. That could be done in a day or two if you talk enough, but still if the interest is there it should be made clear early on.

[ledfoot64]

me and my wife met through a friend of hers on line we talked on phone 2.5 hours later we met 30 minutes I was at her place 5 minutes in her door we was making love naked on her couch 3 hours after that I ask her to marry me she said yes two days later and 2 months and 1 day after we met we got married and all that was almost 13 years ago October this year is 13 years of marriage for us how's that for a love story and it is all true

[fun-weird-guy]

Something does not seem right and to me asking someone to marry you after only 3 hours and then getting married in 2 months and 1 day is moving way way to fast. What did you two do together before you got married? Where did you go? Who moved in with who?

[ledfoot64]

I moved in with her that night and had my stuff in her place two days later we been together 13 years next month married 13 years in October

[superflysam]

Sooner the better in my opinion. As a guy, if I'm interested I try to get her number after 5-6 messages, and meet in person within 2 weeks.. I keep her interested through text messages. Most girls seem to appreciate that I take the initiative and don't bullshit them.. LOL
Good luck.

[Anonymous]

About a month. Any longer than that, we start to think of you as just a friend, especially if he starts talking about other women in front of you