How long should you get to know someone on a dating app before going on a date with them?

[Anonymous]

My mom says she is scared of me because I met this guy on a dating app that I like but have only known for a week. He says he wants to meet me in person and take me out on a date. She tells me that you should be talking to this person for at least a year before planning to meet them and find out everything you can about this person and still have someone with you on the first meeting for safety reasons. I told her it's a bit unreasonable for her to be like that but part of me says that she makes sense. What's your opinion for someone trying to find someone to settle down with?

Updates

1 y

My parents are scary. I'm 22 and living at home due to financial reasons. They think that I'm naive and irresponsible and that I'll go fuck around if they don't control me which is not true since I have made it clear to the guy I'm dating that I want to wait till marriage. I tried telling her that first dates are what sets the tone of the relationship but she thinks that a week is too early and if they disapprove I can't leave the house. How do I convince my mother I'm doing the right thing?

[Anonymous]

That’s more than a bit unreasonable, it’s just silly. Unless the situation is long distance or something there’s no reason to wait a year before meeting, and he would likely not want to wait that long either. You pick a public place, have your own transportation there and home. If the idea of online dating makes your mom that uneasy, and her opinion has a big influence on you, then maybe it’s better to meet someone in person.

[justEric]

A year is a too long time, but the worrying is understandable. . meeting someone online can be many times misleading, so I think it's best to know them in person to find out if what is showed online is true or just a character. But in this situation of meeting someone online, no matter for how long you've been talking, the first meeting should be in a public place you know, I think that's the most reasonable regarding safety

[Asker]

My parents are scary. I'm 22 and living at home due to financial reasons. They think that I'm naive and irresponsible and that I'll go fuck around if they don't control me which is not true since I have made it clear to the guy I'm dating that I want to wait till marriage. I tried telling her that first dates are what sets the tone of the relationship but she thinks that a week is too early and if they disapprove I can't leave the house. What should I do? I don't want to lose him so how do I convince my mother I'm doing the right thing?

[justEric]

Maybe show that you know this person, that you acknowledge her fears and will take care, but if you're ever going to date, you'll have to know how the person is and nobody would wait for one year to get to meet, this is out of expectations exactly because a relationship needs that people know each other in person

[Anonymous]

I think a week is long enough. Even if you meet them in person, you never really know someone. I personally believe getting to know someone is a lifelong experience.

Maybe, instead of him picking you up, you meet up for a date and see where things go?

[Anonymous]

Just be careful a friend of mine had met people off dating sites and twice now they had ended very strangely not sure if that is happening a lot or she is just unlucky but either way... And a year is probably too long in my opinion but a week might be a bit soon i think she was talking to them about a week or two

[Asker]

So what's your recommendation?

[Opinion Owner]

Personally I'd wait at least another week or two just feel him out a bit more in my friends case the ones she met quickly were the ones who did what they did luckily she just had to watch but it could've been worse

[Guy13]

Two weeks is my drop dead date. If you can’t meet me once in two weeks then you will never have time for me

[Guy13]

Make sense?

[Anonymous]

It's no worse than meeting somebody at a bar, and a supermarket, or a church. You just take and go on a date in public places. That's what dates should be done in public.