I recently entered into a relationship with an older guy, he's 40 and Im 29, and he really wants kids.
We met in University, both getting our Masters degree. I just graduated, and have no interest in having kids anytime soon. I do want to have some in the next ten years, but I would like to have a career first and enjoy the career (not that kids depreciate that, but thats what I want). he's obsessed with me (in a good way), he's always loved me and is really excited that we're dating. I think he's amazing.
Would it be cruel for me to ask him to wait to have kids, even though he wants them within the next few years? :-/
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Your timetables for trying for kids may not match up, and that's something you need to be honest about. How he will react, I can't predict.
Damn sis that's a tough situation. Kids are definitely something you need to be on the same page about.
A few things to think about - his timeline to have kids within a few years may be partly because of his age too. It gets harder over 40.
But also remember you're only 29, so waiting a bit longer for kids shouldn't be unrealistic either. Seems unfair for him to pressure you so early.
I'd say be honest about wanting to wait like 5-10 years. See if he's willing to compromise on that. If not, then maybe you're not so compatible long term.
Definitely don't rush into anything you're not 100% about, like kids. That's a lifetime commitment. Enjoy your 20s too!
Maybe suggest couples counseling so a third party can help you guys find middle ground on the timeline. As long as you're both willing to hear each other out.
But you also shouldn't feel guilty if in the end you're just on very different pages. Don't settle if kids are a dealbreaker issue! You both deserve what you want there.
Hope this helps, sis. Just keep talking it out - communication is key here. You've got this! ❤️
You should always go at your own pace. Asking is totally the right thing to do.