The guy I'm with wants kids and I dont?

[Anonymous]

He tells me that he wants kids and he knows that I don't, he says that if he marries me he will ask about kids after two years and is conscious of his age cause he is 40, he said if I don't want kids he said he wouldn't leave me but doesn't want me to say no to having kids while proposing a marriage to me... What should I do or say to him?

Deep down I don't want kids but I don't want to breakup with him either.. He really is a great guy... He is 41 and I'm 30... He say due to our age we are not young and I didn't like that thought he had...

Updates

1 y

If I do go ahead with this marriage but later on I tell him I don't want kids at all what would happen?

Updates

1 y

I also put in a compromise of let's have kids after 4-5 years of marriage he said no to that because he was conscious of his age...

[OlderAndWiser]

"Deep down I don't want kids but I don't want to breakup with him either." But he really does want kids and he deserves to find a partner wh will give him children. If that isn't you, then breakup or settle in for a relationship in which there will be resentment and regrets.

[Asker]

What do I deserve?

[OlderAndWiser]

A relationship in which there will NOT be resentment and regrets.

[Asker]

I also put in a Compromise of havening kids after 4-5 years of marriage but he didn't like that, he said his time limit is 2 years..

[OlderAndWiser]

Promising him children and then changing that position after marriage would constitute fraud.

[Asker]

I know my family was massively preasurring me to marry him and have kids... So I tried to get around him about kids but its his desire and my family wasn't happy with me..

[OlderAndWiser]

It sounds like this union is simply not meant to be. Even if he caves in and says no kids, he will regret it and probably blame you later.

[boggboss]

U guys need to have a adult conversation as u are both being silly if u go forward either u will have a divorce or u will have a unhappy marriage as this is not a subject that is small kids are a big thing to people he is hoping u will change your mind if u know u won't than thats it

[Asker]

Okay what if I do marry him and later on I say I don't want kids? I know how it sounds...

[boggboss]

Then he would hold resentment towards u and the marriage would grow bitter or he would divorce

[Asker]

And you think he is being silly?

[boggboss]

Yes because he knows u don't want kids no

[Asker]

I aosl put in a compromise that let's have kids after 4-5 years of marriage but he said no to that..

[boggboss]

Because in his eyes how does that make a difference

[boggboss]

At the end of the day u both want differnt things so u won't be happy when they come to ahead

[DavidRaul]

Well if you don't want kids , you should make that clear, that you wouldn't want them ever. Its always the woman who compromises, but you can change that. Also you could adopt or go with surrogacy , if pregnancy is a problem.

[IMuser]

Find another partner. Be his friend. You both have different needs.