I told him I wanted a loving relationship without kids but he said I'm not realistic and that he wants kids?

[Anonymous]

I told him I want a loving partner in a marriage he said i'm just being unrealistic and that a marriage requires to have children or a set of goals... Naturally I'm feeling really bad and don't know what else to say to him.. I'm 30 and he is 41

[Emiliamazing]

You have come to a crossroad in the relationship. You both want a different path. Whether this relationship has been going on for a substantial amount of time or if it is young, you’re either going to stress each other out and make the relationship impossible or someone is going to change their mind. It would appear you need to draw a clear line in the sand and make a decision.
My husband and I had our children later in life because I decided after nine years of marriage I wanted to have children. Big big decision.

[WonderBell99]

You are not compatible with him

You should *not* be ashamed of your beliefs/opinions. The fact that he is trying to push his beliefs/opinions onto you is in itself a huge red flag.

I get that you really like him, but bringing a child into this world is a big thing. It requires responsibility and hard work. If you do not want to have a child and he does, but neither of you are willing to compensate, it is best to end the relationship. You do not want to drag this along because it will only make things hard fir the both of you. Next time, please discuss natters such as this before you start dating someone. Nothing wrong in talking to them about it - you are only seeing if they are compatible with you.

For a relationship to last, both partners need to be on the same page on *important* things, and long term goals; like having kids, moving to a different state/country etc

[WonderBell99]

**matters such as this**

**hard for the both of you**

[Anonymous]

You're not wrong for not wanting kids and he's not wrong for wanting to have kids. The two of you just aren't compatible and you should end the relationship.

I agree with him. I don't see the point in getting married if you aren't planning on having children. You disagree with that and that's fine, you just need to find someone who shares the same beliefs as you do.

[Asker]

We are from a Indian culture and he said I will have a hard time finding a husband who doesn't want kids...

[Brittanyroseee]

Marry someone who is not in Indian culture…. Boom easy

[Brittanyroseee]

Why would he even want them. He is 41. Too old..

[slatyb]

Then he's not the man for you. There are plenty more.

[SecretsofKB]

Do not feel bad about knowing what you want or don't want!!!

Having children is a huge topic for a couple to discuss. In my relationship, we don't want children as of now. That may change in the future, but as of now, we are on the same page.

You want to have a partner and no children. He wants children. This may not be conducive for a relationship that lasts.

[LazerBean]

You just aren't compatible. Move on.