He wants kids and I don't but put in a compromise that lets have kids after 3-4 year of marriage but he didn't like that?

[Anonymous]

I'm 30 and he is 41 and he is conscious of his age that his chance of having kids might run out and said I should be conscious of it too cause I'm 30 but didn't say I was old or anything.. What should I do?

[Cynicaldreamer]

See, this is exactly why when entering a relationship, even in the early stages, you tell your potential partner your stance on children! If you don't want any, make it clear upfront!!! Because later on in the relationship, it can cause issues, such as this...

With that being said, anon, you need to make it clear to him that you do not want kids: did you tell him that when you first started dating? You shouldn't have to break your principles just to make him happy, because then you'll be miserable. Please don't be one of those people that winds up having kids just to make your partner happy... those are usually the most miserable parents.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

If you don't want children and he does, maybe you both need a better relationship with someone more suited for each other...
Having a child/starting a family shouldn't be a compromise... If you have children/start a family you really didn't/don't want, noone will really be happy, you, him or your future children..

[boggboss]

Again u ate both being idiots expecting the other one to change when this is just going to end up being a waste of time

[VanillaSalt]

If your not willing your not willing he should leave.

[KatherineJ]

If you want kids and he doesn’t, that’s not really a compromise on either of your part. I see both sides of it, so the question becomes: “Are you willing to not have children because he is the man you want to spend your life with? Is he willing to father a kid because you are the woman that he wants to grow old with”” Other than that, adoption and fostering are ways to be parents too. Good luck!

[WhitneySnow]

Don’t let him pressure you into having kids right away. I feel like waiting a few years is a good compromise. A lot of women are waiting to have kids these days.

[Asker]

He doesn't want to wait that long

[WhitneySnow]

Then maybe he’s not the right guy for you

[WhitneySnow]

Don’t let him pressure you

[Asker]

So basically he is pressuring?

[WhitneySnow]

Yes. By not agreeing to your compromise.

[Asker]

And is my compromise reasonable?

[WhitneySnow]

I think so. A lot of women are waiting to have kids these days.

[Imsmurter1]

Waiting is fine if you’re 16 or 20 not over 25 and 3-4 years is long time

[exitseven]

Having kids at 42 will be hard enough. He will be dealing with college instead of looking forward to retirement. Having them even later will be harder.

[Asker]

So what should he be considering?

[exitseven]

He wants to have a kid ASAP and truthfully I do not blame him. I had all mine before I turned 30 and when I was 50 they were all done with college.

[Asker]

He said he doesn't want me to say no to kids in future and says he won't leave me if I say refuse to kids after marriage but he said he does want them... I'm confused...

[exitseven]

I was lukewarm about it. My wife definitely wanted them. I told her that I didn't NOT want to have kids. We had 3 kids right away and I was glad I had them. We had our first anniversary with our infant son in his little seat. It might have been nice to have some time alone and take some trips but things worked out for the better.

[Asker]

It seems like the woman should decide these things

[Imsmurter1]

How a compromise of just one kid no more. 3-4 years sounds like a while.

[Wise4myage]

Sounds like he's not a good match for you.

[Asker]

Is my compromise reasonable?

[Wise4myage]

Yes it is.

[Imsmurter1]

No it’s not the best compromise 3-4 years is too long