My boyfriend and I had spoken of marriage and children in the future, when I found out I was pregnant in 2018 we agreed to proceed with the pregnancy and start our family. I've been clear from the start that I wanted to get married and have a family, he agreed that we'd get married after our child was born.
Fast forward to the end of 2023 and there's no proposal, every time I've gone to organise or progress our marriage he has shown no interest, dismissed the plans and finally refused to sign the intent to marry form until he sought legal advice. Finally he admitted he doesn't want to get married and is happy with our current arrangement.
I am not happy. I am embarrassed we have three children together and are not homeowners or married when everyone else in our social circle and extended community are.
We had our third child in 2022 and I was physically and mentally at my limit. He chose to stay in a job that pays under $50k the national average for his position because he liked the office culture and flexibility and wants to prioritise his mental health. I had to return to work, but my income didn't cover our childcare costs, our family budget was in the red and we were eating through our savings.
During this time, I discovered he was on Tinder flirting with women and also has emotional relationships with his old secretary and ex girlfriend. I've asked him to stop these relationships and he has refused and locked me out of his devices. He swears he has not physically cheated on me and made a comment that it's my fault he strayed because I am not meeting his needs physically. He expects two orgasms a week.
I'm ready to break up and move on. He wants to save the relationship, he says he considers me his spouse without the paperwork.
I'm done, but should I stay for the kids?
