Why is my boyfriend pulling a bait and switch?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend (30) and I (26) have been together for 5 months. Before we started dating we had a conversation about what we wanted. We both agreed on a few things:

1. We didn't want a relationship. Him more than me didn't want one.

2. We both don't want to be married

3. We both don't want kids.

The relationship happened because I was seeing multiple people and one of them asked me out. I agreed under some less than ideal circumstances, and later went back on it. My current boyfriend got jealous and said he was planning on asking me to be his. I really liked him and said sure. After that he said I would never meet his parents which was fine with me. We agreed that if I got pregnant he would pay for an abortion. No marriage conversations.

Here recently the script has changed.

He's made tentative plans for me to meet his family, which is hassle because they are out of state. He brings up marriage a lot in conversation. Even during some that don't go in that direction. He jokingly brought up engagement rings. He also has gotten more paranoid about getting me pregnant. I told him I didn't understand since we have a plan. I take my BC religiously and I'm fairly sure I'm infertile anyway. Just feels like he's gone back on so many things. If I talk to him about it he avoids actually talking about. So what's up?

[Anonymous]

It's understandable to feel confused and concerned when your partner seems to be changing their behavior and expectations in the relationship. It's important to have open and honest communication with your boyfriend about how you're feeling and to express your concerns.

It's possible that your boyfriend's feelings and desires have changed as the relationship has progressed. It's also possible that he may have been saying things that he thought you wanted to hear at the beginning of the relationship, and now that he feels more comfortable, he's being more open about his true feelings and desires.

Regardless of the reason, it's important to have a clear and honest conversation about what you both want and expect from the relationship. It's important to make sure that you're on the same page and that you both feel comfortable with the direction the relationship is going in.

If your boyfriend is avoiding the conversation or not willing to talk about it, it might be a red flag. It's important to have a partner who is willing to communicate openly and honestly with you. If you continue to feel uncomfortable or uncertain about the relationship, it might be helpful to seek the guidance of a therapist or trusted friend.

[Asker]

Thank you for the sound advice. I appreciate it

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome

[Anonymous]

Tell him your pregnant and ask him for the abortion money. If he gives it, wait a few days tell him you got your period, false alarm, give him his money back.

If he doesn't cough up, he will reveal his true intentions.

[CarolinaJones]

Sounds like he's into you and is ready to propose to you soon. His family probably pressured him to provide him grandchildren and get married or he's ready to develop a maritual status as he got to know you better and wishes to be with you for a lifetime.

[Asker]

That's what it seems like. Just stressful because he hasn't talked to me about a change in perspective

[Anonymous]

looks like you're going to have to use your big girl voice and talk to him about it.

[Asker]

I've tried. Unsuccessfully I might add. He gets mad at me and ends the conversation

[Opinion Owner]

then end the "relationship"

[noohair]

Sounds like he fell for you. It does happen.

[Asker]

Yeah it does seem like that. He treats me well and has admitted to me that I scare him.