Why does my boyfriend do this?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months; on the sixth month we both decided to take it a step further, and became a couple. We go to the Movies, The Winery, salsa dancing, The Museum etc. We share our dreams, goals, passion, stories, etc. He told me that he loves me, and we say it to each other often. However when I go to one of his jam sessions, (where he plays with his band) he behaves differently. He doesn’t embrace me the same. He’s hugs are like “church hugs” and he doesn’t talk to me much. No one from the outside looking in could tell we’re a couple. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Guys can you give me some advice?

V_Injector · Accepted Answer

Let me tell you about my ex real quick. She'd drag me to her grandma's house where like 3 families all lived in the same house. The women would hang out in the kitchen and us dudes usually hung out in the backyard getting drunk, smoking blunts, playing dominos, and battle rapping.

It's not really my thing, and I never wanted to go, but I adapted... I evolved... and I thrived. Basically, I'd be having fun. Her though, for some reason wants to bug the shit out of me, get all kissy kissy, huggy huggy. I'd try to explain to her it's just not the time or the place to be like that. It was fucking annoying... nobody else's chick is all hanging on his fucking arm and trying to make out and shit. Let me have fun, go hang out with the other chicks ffs. She would not leave me alone and I didn't want to go there to begin with. We could've stayed home do the smoochy smoochy bullshit.

So here's my question to you. Are you being like my ex? Like on a scale of 1 to 10, how much are you being like her? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to, but consider it something to consider if you have any similarities to my ex.

I'm just saying maybe he's there to jam with the dudes and have some dude fun... maybe he isn't doing that so he can have a bunch of public displays of affection.

I'd also like to add that yes, those guy exist... He'll bring his chick out and tongue fuck her in front of the bros because he likes to show off he has a chick. As one of the bros, I will tell you it was fucking annoying... like just go somewhere and fuck instead of hanging with us. Some dudes love to do that shit and they're annoying. It's like we get it... you have a fine piece of ass... good for you dude. We don't really care dude. We're trying to have fun like we always did before she was your current chick.

BetaBucks · Accepted Answer

Generally, it's one of two things. One, he's trying to maintain a cool demeanor and doesn't want to look like a simp. Two, you are relatively unattractive and he doesn't want his buddies seeing what he settled down with. If it's the latter, don't stress. Someone out there will worship your body type. You might just have to realign your own demands for attractiveness. If it's the former, you just gotta accept that it's kind of a guy thing and he doesn't love you any less because of his need to maintain composure.

osmanthus · Accepted Answer

It's possible that he's not told his bad mates about you and that's not surprising. 6 months doesn't really guarantee that the man wants to commit to you fully and is probably at the stage of wondering to himself whether or not he wants to. In the meantime I don't think I'd worry too much about it but if you reached about 8 to 12 months then you can probably bring up the topic with him about whether or not you want to get engaged.

SugarSugarplum · Accepted Answer

A lot of single guys get grossed out by too much PDA. Don't expect him to slobber on you in public.

Finchie40 · Answer

Maybe he is embarrassed to show his affection to you on front of his band mates / friends , He probably thinks his friends will bust his balls if he acts all lovey dovey in front of them

AviatorTom · Answer

If you want some PDA, initiate it. You don't have to always wait for him to do it.

Avicenna · Answer

Could be that he is focused on his music

justfantasizing · Answer

He's probably focusing, doesn't like PDA, and/or socially awkward.

If he was embarrassed to be seen with you he wouldn't bring you. Don't overthink it. It's like Hanlon's razor. Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity (not calling him stupid I'm just trying to say there are many mundane reasons that aren't to do with anything negative.)

I don't like to kiss my wife at work when we meet up for lunch because I grew up in a very low touch environment, and then spent 11 years in the military where PDA was a problem unless you just got back from deployment or something major.

I'm extremely proud of my wife and our relationship, I just don't like PDA at work.

Purpleronnie · Answer

Could be nothing , could be the whole Public display of affection. Could be something weak like his machismo around his band.

I understand where you’re coming from , I pay a lot of attention to what a woman says versus how they act , I think this situation would trouble me a little too. If I were you I’d attempt to be really affectionate around him next time and see how he reacts

soe11 · Answer

Are you live together? Yes then, prepare wonderful meals. Sit together eat and discuss the matter calmly, positively, constructively and peacefully. If you mot live together then arrange for dinner outside and same way you both talk. If you can not solve the problem then departure peaceful manner.

cheapshotbob · Answer

It sounds like you're falling for him harder than he's falling for you, which is typical. girls have more emotions and they are ready to interact more emotionally than a guy.

The guy has to grow into the relationship and you have to overlook the little things like that or it will annoy you and you will make yourself go crazy. thinking on it too much

RavVid · Answer

I'd say he is at his work during the jam sessions is the way to view it.

If a wife visits her husbands it is not appropriate to be sexual there. A kiss on the cheek maybe but no tongues. His focus should be on his work not socializing with his girl.

Nikki1989 · Answer

He is not serious about you. Dump him and find someone that can show you some respect.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Sounds like he is looking for a better offer from some groupies.

Lynx122 · Answer

He's not sure if he wants you to be his girlfriend in public.

Anonymous · Answer

sorry, i think he may be ashamed or embarrassed of you

onedarkcloud · Answer

It sounds like he is not proud to have you as a girlfriend. Find someone proud of you ALL OF THE TIME

OhLongJohnsoning · Answer

So, because he act different in ONE place, you think he doesn't love you? Are you sure you love him?

noohair · Answer

You asked this already. Why can't you ask him?

nawtee_me · Answer

Give him time change is not always easy….

Kelseyy-999 · Answer

try to speak to him and tell him what concerns you

In_Trance · Answer

He's doing his thing

DrPepper12 · Answer

🤔🚩

Why does my boyfriend do this?

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