Why does my boyfriend do this?

[Anonymous]

I thought my boyfriend was recording one of our sexual conversations after he screenshot me an image, and saw the recording button at the bottom of the screen. He explained to me because he used the screen recorder as a timer he could visually see, so he does not lose track of time and tried using the actual timer on his phone but said it makes him lose track of time for work. I'm not even sure if this is an excuse for the screen recorder, but I just accepted it because he is always late for work.

I did not really get too upset about it since he was being honest about it and showed me how it works. But he started over-exaggerating a lot of different aspects of the situation and extended it into other issues we had in the past. He started saying he realised he broke his promise to me to never record me, and then stated there were audio issues hearing me (there literally is) and thought about recording me so he can "playback" what I said. Then it went even further by him stating "you also did a bad thing by talking badly about me to your friends, so this is similar" (To me it seemed like he was trying to make things fair and equal?) and then mentioned about if I broke up with him he would just take it and he does not want to lose me then started saying "my trauma and security bug him a lot and wanted to talk about that with me"

I cut him short and basically said you are overthinking and trying to hurt me with your words and my experience. It was so bizarre how quickly he jumped from explaining to then trying to make me the bad guy by mentioning what I had done in the past? He mentioned working through "trust issues" and such, apparently for me but I think he needs it more than I do

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl that is so sketchy of your boyfriend. The whole screen recording thing is weird enough, but then for him to blow it so far out of proportion and try to turn it around on you is a major red flag.

It seems like he was trying really hard to justify himself and make you feel bad instead of just owning up to it. Like why would he even bring up private stuff you talked about with friends, or hypothetical break ups? That has nothing to do with this situation.

It definitely sounds like he's the one who needs to work on some trust and insecurity issues, not you. I wouldn't be surprised if he's hiding other things too if he's that bent on deflecting blame. I'd be really careful staying with someone who throws your own past actions in your face just to dodge taking responsibility for his own mistakes.

Trust your gut feeling that he's trying to manipulate and hurt you. You don't deserve that kind of treatment from your boyfriend. I'd say really reflect on this relationship and if his behavior is normal or if it's time to reconsider being with someone who acts so sketchy. You deserve better!

[Anonymous]

You are both as backward as each other.