What does it mean when your boyfriend refers to himself as your husband?

[Rissyanne]

Me and my boyfriend have always had an understanding that neither of us wants to get married. I can't imagine going through another divorce. I am very happy with the way things are now. But yesterday we were talking and I was telling him about what someone said at work. I dont remember exactly but it wasn't significant. He asked, "Did you tell them your husband agreed with you?" I just looked at him and he asked it again. Then he caught himself and laughed. He apologized... I told him it was ok. I think he was embarrassed. I have never referred to him as husband and I never referred to myself as his wife. I just hope he isn't started think about us getting married.

[abc3643]

Well, it likely isn't a problem anymore, but, in some states, if you are shacking up and apparently acting like spouses in the eyes of the community, that state may declare that you have a "common law marriage"; so you are married even if you never actually had a ceremony. I don't think common law marriage is as prevalent as it was in the past because everybody and his not-quite-mother-in-law are shacking up now. Now, you probably wouldn't be considered common-law married, but, if your boyfriend is saying he's your husband, that gives that impression. If you ever say that you are his wife, then that is a big step in the eyes of the law.
en.wikipedia.org/.../Common-law_marriage

[Rissyanne]

We aren't shacking up. We only see each other on the weekends.

[abc3643]

Oh OK. Still, he shouldn't be calling you that just in case. Maybe saying that he is your "old man" is safer.

[Rissyanne]

I am not worried about common law marriage. And I would never call him "old man".

[cth96190]

Sounds as though he is easing you into the idea. :-)

[Rissyanne]

I just can't...

[Marinepilot]

Rissyanne-I understand that.

[Penyair]

I'd say tell him its not appropriate if you don't live together. If you lived together you could be considered "common law partners"(like married) if you were together 6 months or more. Also sometimes people get into that mindset if they are living together.

[HandsomeRaj]

It's more a psychological thing & it's tricky to explain but I'll try...

It generally is craving for being with you forever. More triggered because of subconscious society norms.

Ofcourse the above doesn't mean or imply things will be hunky dory once you guys are married.

It's also probably triggered by the thrill of chase.

In certain cases it may be triggered owing to insecurity as well.

Even the person saying it may not be in a position to analyse it correctly.

[America1st]

You have to ask him. We can't really answer that question. We can guess. Talk with him and tell him your concerns. That is the only way you can get the truth and I think that is what you want.

[Bobbyhill1]

seems like a joke. I make marriage jokes to a girl I just met!

[Rissyanne]

He wasn't joking. He wouldn't joke over something like that. He is more mature than that.

[Bobbyhill1]

oh, so now you are coming at me huh?

[Rissyanne]

Coming at you? All I said is he is more mature than to joke about marriage. We are both divorced and we agreed not to go through that again. I know you find it humorous probably because you have never experienced that. But dont...

[Bobbyhill1]

oh boohoo sounds like marriage has put you through a lot.

[Rissyanne]

I expected something like that from a little boy. Go play with your logos and dont try to talk with the grown folks till you grow up... little boy.

[reptocarl]

It means you're in a close comfortable relationship

[es20490446e]

Allowing yourself to quit things is what makes you to stay on them.

[Marinepilot]

It's all good. He loves you.