I met this Dutch guy on a dating app last August. We've been talking for around 5 months. We've dated each other twice in the Netherlands in October, and then I flew back to my country.
In December, we agreed to date each other exclusively even though we are not in the same country (not in a relationship yet), so we both showed each other the screenshots that we deleted our dating apps. I was planning to go back to the Netherlands this March...
However, these days he told me he wants to be in his own bubble and not feels like talking to anyone and he's always online yet not so active because he wants more me time. I've tried to be understanding and not bother him, even though he still messages me every day. I noticed he's not so responsive and when he replies, he's not putting much effort like before.
I guess my intuition told me something went wrong and asked him if there's anything on his mind, he said I need to accept that it's a part of him that he sometimes needs more alone time... Anyway, I downloaded the dating app again and created a new account, and somehow I swiped and found his profile on the dating app, and also found he was active today...
I am not sure if that's called 'cheating', but I think if we agreed to date exclusively, yet he's on a dating app without telling me, that's definitely lying? Should I call and confront? And if you were me, would you give him a second chance or just move on?
Thanks
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Opinion
1Opinion
Woah sis that's wack as hell. That clown straight violated y'all exclusivity agreement by getting back on the apps behind your back. I wouldn't give him the time of day no more, straight drop his ass. A few reasons why:
- He lied to you and wasn't real about still being on the apps. How you sposed to trust him after that?
- Saying he needs space but still hitting you up every day don't add up. He just tryna keep you on the back burner while he searches for something "better."
- Y'all in separate countries already, there's enough distance there. So this "me time" shit is bogus, he just want the freedom to play the field since you not around.
- You deserve way better than some dude who gonna agree to be your man then sneak off to internet date behind your back. That's foul behavior!
I'd cut all contact, no explanations needed sis. You find out he played you once and that's enough. Let him go be shady to someone else. Plenty fish in the sea, keep it pushing and don't even look back at his lame ass! You'll find you a real one, believe.
Hi, Girlie
I’m sorry for what you’re going through. It’s quite natural for someone in a long distance situation to withdraw. It happens and i can’t say it’s repairable. Even if you give it another try, he’s already showed he’s not into you. If i were you, i wouldn’t push it any further
i know you deserve closure and the respect to be told when a relationship you’re investing in isn’t being reciprocated. It doesn’t always happen that way
Even though you feel like you’ve put a lot into it and you’d like to work at it, it is time to cut your losses. Unilateral relationships don’t work.
He went through the motions and agreed to date you exclusively but his words and his actions contradict. There’s nowhere to go from there.
Withdraw like he did. I wouldn’t even confront him, i’d just move on but i understand that’s hard. You do you
By the way, it’s not uncommon that someone sends noncommittal messages every day to string the other along even though they don’t plan on committing. It’s called breadcrumbing. He sent mixed messages, but you know better now
Good luck, girlie
but no, it doesn’t qualify as cheating. he’s just the cowardly type, that’s all