How to escalate with a girl in my class?

[Anonymous]

We both sit next to each other for the past few weeks (seating arrangement). We get on quite well, and there are some signs of interest. How can I progress it further? I understand that being friends / getting to know someone should come first, and it's an ideology I believe in, but how do you even do this without friendzoning yourself or on the opposite end, being too forward?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

No risk, no reward in my mind. You have to make moves that risk rejection to avoid finding yourself in the friendzone.

But you can usually make small, low-risk moves. Like instead of writing her a love letter (extremely high risk), you can just ask her to hang out some time outside of class. It's even lower in risk if you transition it properly, like moving from talking about Italian food to inviting her to your favorite Italian restaurant.

Instead of lunging across the driver's seat to the passenger's seat to kiss her, you can walk her out the car to her doorstep, maybe hug her, and if she's smiling and looking up at you, then you can kiss her. And when you kiss, you might hold her waist for a start, don't start off grabbing her butt. Work your way slowly to the butt.

Try to find the smallest, low-risk moves you can make while always seeing how receptive she is to them. But make moves.

[Asker]

Ok thank you, will try to get something out of class somehow.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

You can scale the tallest mountain in low-risk baby-steps and potentially faster than the man who tries to sprint and leap to the top, as the latter might find himself rolling down the mountain repeatedly. Yet the man who twiddles his thumbs at the base of the mountain will never get anywhere.

Try to think of it that way when it comes to conquering the girls you like: baby-steps. It's also the gentlemanly way. It minimally risks doing something that might make her uncomfortable. You wait for her to reciprocate your small moves in some way before you advance to the next small move.

[Asker]

Okay, thank you for the advice

[Alex-Snow]

Ask her some questions about the class or schoolwork. Compliment her on something. Make good eye contact and just be yourself. Message me for more stuff... I'm only 18 and have been in the same situation when I was in high school

[Asker]

Yeah I already do this. Not really complimenting, but playfully teasing each other, some physical contact, eye contact, talking about classwork & stuff that happened outside of class. We end up talking most of the lesson, whether it's about the lesson or whatnot

[Alex-Snow]

Good start! Can u get her number (in case you have a question about some schoolwork) and maybe try to follow her on fb or ig if she is ok with that. Maybe ask her to hang out or do something fun over the weekend. How old is she?

[Asker]

Not sure how to go about getting her socials without seeming too weird about it, same with the weekend plans / stuff outside of class. She's the same age as me - 17.

[Alex-Snow]

Find an excuse to meet her outside of class and get to know her better and then ask her out. U won't know til you try. Does she have a boyfriend that u know of?

[Asker]

Ye, not sure how to get her outside of class. I guess look for an opportuntiy? But then chance is it might not happen. No, not that I know of - she has never mentioned a boyfriend or any activity done with any guy, it's always either that she was working or she was doing something with her friends

[Alex-Snow]

You have to stay engaged with her to the extent possible I guess. It is always worked for me to ask some leading questions and get them to talk about themselves... that way u can find out what interests her and what she likes to do. Is she a hottie?

[Asker]

Yep, of course she's beautiful. We do talk a lot, as I said, so I assume the questions and conversation just naturally flow anyway so I guess in a sense they are leading questions?

[Alex-Snow]

Sounds like u are doing everything right. I guess just ask her out and see what she says.

[Asker]

Ok, thank you

[Tharithi]

What’s your exact situation with her

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[Tharithi]

Who’s she to u. How often u talk. What u talk

[Asker]

Classmate, we're sat next to each other. We talk every lesson for the majority of it - about classwork or just daily lives and stuff. She'll tell me about her coworkers, things she did outside of class etc, and I'll do the same.