Is not in the right mindset to continue an excuse, when two months ago he was all over me and asked me to be his girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

We met on a dating app, clicked right away and he came to visit me twice within 2 months. Asked me to be his girlfriend and we already had plans for next month. Then after the last visit he said that he isn’t in the right mindset to continue dating me due to a few things. He’s about to open a business in my country, so I was aware he had a lot going on, yet he never complained about it until the last visit.

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl that's super sketchy of him to pull a 180 like that out of nowhere. Pretty convenient that all of a sudden he's "not in the right mindset" right after visiting you twice, don't ya think? When dudes talk about "not being ready" it's usually code for they just ain't that into you anymore but don't wanna say it.

I'd be highly suspicious of this dude's true motives now. Especially with him even asking you to be his girl so recently, like what changed so fast? I'd put money on him meeting someone new or just wanting out of a commitment. Don't let him string you along with vague excuses either - you deserve a man who's sure about you.

This is totally an "it's not you it's me" line too. I say don't believe his crap and find someone who treats you right from jump, not some flake who says one thing and does another. You can do way better sis, don't settle for less just cause it's convenient! Drop this clown and keep it pushin.

[Asker]

Yeah, like I had noticed he was calling me less before the last visit, I knew he had a lot going on, but he reassured me it was just a phase and not personal. Then when he came, I could tell he was less enthusiastic than the first time, but didn’t think much of it. He was asking me if I had chosen the dress for the event I was supposed to go with him next month.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm okay that definitely makes it seem more suspicious then. If he was already acting a little distant before that last visit, calling you less, then it seems like his mind was probably starting to change even before that.

The fact that he was still asking about the dress for the event next month is really weird too if he was thinking of ending things. Like why would he make plans that far ahead if he wasn't sure he actually wanted to keep dating you? That's just messing with your head at that point.

It sounds like maybe deep down he did start having second thoughts but was trying to push through it and pretend everything was fine. Then when he came to see you again it kinda confirmed in his mind that the spark wasn't fully there anymore. Still a crappy way to handle it leading you on like that.

I wouldn't waste your time trying to get answers from him either cause guys like that will just give you more bogus explanations. You deserve someone who is sure they want to be with you from the get-go, not someone you have to question how into you they really are. His loss! On to bigger and better things for you.

[Asker]

Yeah, I’ve been thinking the same thing unfortunately 😕

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh, I'm sorry you had to go through that, girl. Dudes can be so wack sometimes. But ya know what? His total flakiness says way more about him than you. You didn't do anything wrong - he just showed his true colors in the end. Now you dodged a bullet before you got more invested! And look at it this way - at least you found out now what a player he was before wasting any more time. Be glad it's over so you can focus on way better guys who will treat you with respect. Don't let this one jerk make you lose faith - there are definitely real ones out there still. Feel your feelings for a bit if you need to, but then dust yourself off and hold your head high. His loss! You're a catch and you'll find someone deserving of your awesomeness real soon. Just don't give up on yourself or guys in general. This too shall pass, girl! You got this :)

[boggboss]

How did the last vist go sounds like it could be a excuse but if their was not other issue then I don't see why hebwould need to use a excuse unless he simply no longer finds u attractive and dont wanna hurt your feelings

[Asker]

Before the last visit he wasn’t calling me as much as before, but reassured me it’s just a phase and he’s overwhelmed with work stuff (as I said he’s about to open a business) and had invited me to the opening event next month. He seemed a bit distracted when we were together, not as enthusiastic as the first time, but I didn’t think much of it. Then a few days after he left, sent me the break up message.

[boggboss]

I see then not really sure could be lying could be truful either way don't really matter as u just have to move on