Would you tell your significant other your weight if you were obese?

[Anonymous]

I want to tell him but I'm afraid he will freak out. Granted he knows I'm not Keira Knightley and I look obviously fat, but he doesn't know just how fat I actually am. He tells me his weight all the time because he's trying to lose weight along with me but he's significantly smaller than me.

I've lost over 30lbs but I'm still in the obese category. So should I tell him? Or wait until I'm much smaller?

[_amelie2]

You should tell him, what exactly do you fear? If he rejects you because of the number he never wanted you really in the first place.

[Asker]

I just told him and he's fine with it. Whew!

[laly520]

I would if I was obese

[Asker]

I told him.

[laly520]

good
its always worth it to be honest
how did he react?

[Asker]

He was okay with it. It didn't really phase him.

[laly520]

good
he is mature enough then

[BoopBoopBeep]

What do you think his understanding of that number is going to change?

Let's say you're 350. He thinks you're 320 and you're worried... what... that he doesn't know you're obese and suddenly he would? Does that sound reasonable to you? I mean presumably he isn't blind and can tell you're not 110. To use your words, he "CAN tell how fat you are". He can do that by looking at you. The number on the scale doesn't even answer that question. I know some very fit women on here who are nowhere near 100lbs. Nobody is going to call them obese. Similarly I have seen women on here who are 115lbs and skinnyfat. I only know their weight because they've said so. Nobody with any understanding of basic physiology and health needs to look at a scale in order to roughly assess the shape that someone is in. I assume you are not dating a simpleton, so he is aware that you are obese, which doesn't bother you, but him knowing the number DOES bother you? That seems... arbitrary... and that's coming from someone who used to be obese.

[Asker]

It does bother me that I am obese and him knowing the number although shouldn't matter did to me because I don't look my weight. I look slightly smaller because I workout and built muscle over the past several months. I thought it would make him look at me differently... like in disgust but I guess not since I've told him just now and it didn't phase him at all. I guess it was crazy to obsess over a number when he knows I'm obviously obese which is not going to change anything anytime soon. You're right.

[BoopBoopBeep]

See? All good now... you were just stressing for no reason :)

[Asker]

Yep.

[provokeesmokee]

If he hasn't seen a pic of you, I'd tell him.

The sooner you do it the better.

If he's the right kind of person, he won't care.

[Asker]

He's seen me in person. I just never told him my weight before.

[provokeesmokee]

I mean, he probably doesn't care then?

I don't think the number on a scale is gonna mean anything to him if he saw you and likes you.

[Asker]

That's true. I told him and it didn't seem to phase him at all.

[provokeesmokee]

Nice!

Proud of you for being openly you, and also in finding a good guy by the sounds of it!

Congrats on the 30lbs lost too, and keep up your good work!

[Asker]

Thank you! He definitely is a really good guy!

[IslaTheWitch]

if he doesn't ask, why for you want to share this information? Focus on losing weight

[Asker]

I just wanted to tell him because he always tells me his weight as he is trying to lose weight also and I just felt like it wouldn't be fair for him to always give his weight and I don't ever give my weight. But I have told him and I will continue to focus on losing weight.

[Anonymous]

Did he ask for your weight? I wouldn’t tell him even if he asked. It’s none of his business!!

[Asker]

No but he always gives his weight. We're on a weight loss journey together and even though he has far less to lose than I do, I still feel it's unfair for him to give his weight and me not give my weight.

[Billlewis]

I'd hope she would, because my motto is, 'The Bigger The Better'

[sawno]

He won't be shocked, he has eyes.

[OtterMan68]

how does he not know?

[Asker]

I haven't told him.

[OtterMan68]

Your SO has not seen you?

[Asker]

Yes he has