Would you reject other interesting people for someone you like?

Question

I like someone, we cannot meet till September.

On the other hand, I am asked out by a few very interesting people - Who are handsome and successful but I am not too much into them.

I like the first guy I am going to meet in September, but don’t know - We don’t date officially or anything, we have just been talking for a bit over 2 months. Texting me everyday, calling me weekly, I wouldn’t wish more, I don’t want us to get tired of each other even before we meet.

I kind of like him and he has told me he likes me. He is being very affectionate to me and attentive everyday.

But I don’t want to risk a heartbreak by catching feelings for someone I am not certain about.

On the other hand, here are sexy, young, successful men - Right next to me, trying really hard to meet me…

What to do? Should I keep turning their invitations down for a man who’s far from me?

Updates

+1 y

I decided not to reject them, to make sure - I won’t catch feelings for that September Guy.

No feelings from me unless I see he has caught feelings for me.

Mr_twoface · Accepted Answer

When I began talking to my wife, it was midst of the pandemic and we couldn’t meet for months, my biggest fear then was getting tired of each other or losing interest due to lack of not being able to hold interesting conversations. I believe it was emitted due to past experiences where the conversations dried up. Reflecting upon it later, I realised that it wasn’t based on a fear, rather than in the past I was also investigating other beautiful souls simultaneously. This led me to directly and/or indirectly to compare them, to unconsciously find faults in the conversation with one and another and to expect more from them and from our conversations. During the pandemic, we were both somewhat isolated and it forced us to focus our attention onto one and another and that led us to where we stand today.

We are all obviously different and my issues may not be yours. On the other hand, you are saying it yourself, you are not too much into those others and there is one. Based on my experience, I would say give him, your all! Keep the conversations alive and see where it goes. No one want a heartbreak but that is the risk one must take to find its lobster! If you halfway through find he isn’t the one, then you take the decision your gut tells you to take. But imagine if he is everything you want and more? Isn’t it worth the risk?

CaptainOverthink · Accepted Answer

I think a good rule is to keep in mind that people we haven't met in real life probably aren't what we make them out to be. I'm not saying they're the opposite, nothing radical like that.
Just that texting, snapping and so don't really say much about them. But it does leave a lot of room for us on the other end to be doing some dreamy, wishful thinking.

I'd advise caution with jumping too far ahead and take life open-mindedly from where you are in reality. Rather than decidedly from things you can't be sure of.

There's a long road to September. Explore those you have infront of you and see where it goes.
It's not his buisiness knowing what you do until you're upclose and prove to be good, in person. Just don't lead him on any more than he does on his own.

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

Others always pop up when you’re taken or single trying to focus on getting to know one person. I was still allowing myself to get to know them and i actually realized they were better than the guy i eventually became official with. Yet, he just had something they didn't so i still turned them down and chose him

Unicornrose · Accepted Answer

Ya if I like the other person more. Let me just say. I have the cutest most adorable boss dude. His friend is similar but not the same at all. I'm sleeping with the best friend. And I love him sòoooo much

Night_Descends · Answer

Yes I would. Go with this guy and the wait will be worth it when you get to meet him. If you two happened to be together in future, this wait will add to the sweetness of your relationship. Besides, you're not interested in anyone else like that so wbu bother to make yourself interested in anyone by putting extra efforts? Be natural with this one. Good luck

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Answer

I just tended to like people as I dated them. I didn't really crush or anything. If I had a connection with a woman and I wasn't dating anyone else, I'd go on a date with her if she was down. I didn't have any prospects like I'm aiming for someone else.

That situation in your case is kind of tricky for me. I avoided LDRs like the plague. If I can't meet her all the time, then I didn't generally bother to start anything.

Still-alive · Answer

Id say go for it. And if you aren’t feeling anything for them after then turn them down for any follow up dates. You never know maybe you have way better chemistry with this guy then the one in September.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Your problem is a surplus of choices, which is something most humans don't do well with. Anyone in sales knows you never give a customer more than two or three choices (at most) as it will cause them to have apprehension and indecision.

In your case it's like walking up to a desert table and having to make a choice.

What's the answer? Make a conscious effort to limit your choices based on reason, than select the best option for your goals.

Hayley-Jade · Answer

It depends on the situation and the depth of my feelings for the person I like. If I feel a strong connection and potential for a meaningful relationship, I may choose to focus my attention and energy on that person, even if others express interest. However, if my feelings are not as strong or if I'm uncertain about the relationship, I might explore other connections. Ultimately, it's about prioritizing my own feelings and what feels right for me in the moment.

lightbulb27 · Answer

you are in an emotional relationship and honestly, it's a fantasy until you meet in person. So it' is a gamble.

It's clear you won't be satisfied with any other until "this" is resolved. So I'd just let others know you are dating.

The others likely deserve several dates because often times, you won't get all those feelings day one and it's better to grow in love rather than go by way of emotion. But you are young and need to learn all that your way.

Anonymous · Answer

Dating--ESPECIALLY when young--is to be done in person. If your "relationship" is online only, what you have as a big fat NOTHING. Meet guys online, but chat briefly and set up a first meet up. If that isn't until September (!) then keep meeting other guys who you can go out with this weekend. If they're not great, don't see them again. But if they are, date them.

DoggyDude · Answer

I'd say, don't miss out on a chance to get to know some nice people. Establish boundaries though; Here meaning, make it clear your happy to spend some time with them but your not looking for a relationship right now (the, with them can remain implied).

It's terrible to regret missed oportunities. That said, if you feel like you can't spend time with them without maybe getting involved; Just wait for the guy your craving.

DJB72 · Answer

Connection requires risk of getting hurt. Give September a chance.

superchan2011 · Answer

If i'm not dating the person in question it would really depend on how much I like them. But in most cases if I have a crush on you i'm not gonna be focused on other girls. I'm only interested in you then.

Chelsdope0 · Answer

Hell no! Always have a roster in case it doesn’t work out!  Only reject your options when you’re married (ew) even then have a side piece

Nikki1989 · Answer

Wouldn't you like to be with interesting people too?

Staximus · Answer

Nevermind that long distance phone relationship crap

loveslongnails · Answer

You've heard the expression "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush". Passing up real time opportunities for something 6 months away that may or may not even happen, is folly. Explore your options, you have nothing to lose.

NathanDavis · Answer

if I'm into someone... I am into that someone

robhazelnut · Answer

I get that. Emotions are an abuser's "bread and butter".

MsBrie · Answer

No i wouldn't.

Pohjolan · Answer

Nah as a guy one just doesn't have to actively pursue other women.

DagonbroughtMehere · Answer

"A Diamond in the rough must not be thrown to the ground."

Sam12348 · Answer

I would stick to someone I like

laly520 · Answer

yes I only focus on one person

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yes, I absolutely would!!

AlexEfron · Answer

I have and always will.

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