Do ultimaniums work on guys?

Question

Like if a girl says she won’t have sex with him until he meets her family?
Or she don’t feel comfortable having sex until he meets family or worried they have no official label as girlfriend?

im 26 and never had a boyfriend as this ultimanian only worked on one guy but he lived 15 hrs away, he wasn’t religous but he agreed meet family first & was Virgin. But since he was far we never met.
the only guy I dated was a fuckboy & he would blow up & he stubborn and ultimatums never compelled him at all. But yet again I said it too late.

but this is y I have no boyfriend , no guy agrees to meet my family. No guy has ever loved me & im a family religous girl with religous family.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Ultimatums don't work on me. They would make me dig in my heels. And I would be resentful if she followed through with her attempt at coercion. It would probably signal that we were not compatible.

A successful strategy would be to offer rewards instead of punishment. It's how you train animals and it works the same way with humans. For example, you praise a dog and offer treats when it does something right. It want's to please you. Saying "Bad dog!" and withholding affection doesn't work.

I believe in discussion and compromise. I don't think either men or women are stupid. They should be able to talk things through and express their reasoning. And if they love and respect each other, they will want to make each other happy.

I can't imagine why a guy would refuse to meet your family. That makes no sense to me. It's such a simple request. And if it means a lot to you, he should agree with pleasure.
Is he too immature to talk to grown ups? Does he think that meeting your family is a step toward marriage? Is he ashamed of that fact that all he is doing is using you?

I met all my girlfriend's families. I used to bring my girlfriends to my parent's house and even to holiday gatherings because... she was my girlfriend. I was proud of her.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Ultimatums are usually bad to use in relationships, it usually indicates that one person only wants things their way , it can cause a lot of conflict in a relationship if you have that kind of mindset. It’s best to accept someone the same way you want them to accept you , No one is perfect , we all come from different paths in life and we all experience things differently than others’ do , sometimes we meet someone that has similar experiences as we do but they not exactly the same. So if you want to experience a relationship with someone , you have to give to them the same way you want to receive from them , it’s always going to be a 50/50 chance because we can’t read each others’ minds and we don’t know what someone’s’ true intentions are , all we can do is try and hope they are on the same page as ourselves

DishLady · Accepted Answer

So ultimatums don’t work for you….

First, ultimatums shouldn’t be used this way, they’re meant to be an “I’m putting my foot down” sort of approach to something that has to get accomplished — for example my friend who was dating her man for 13 years with no direction towards marriage till she finally out her foot down and told him they should break up unless he was ready to be married (and that ultimatum was set because she only had a small window to have kids for genetic reasons). He married her and they’ve been together another 30 years (very happily and without any other ultimatums in sight since that day 30 years ago.

Your guy doesn’t need a wake up call… your guy just needs to respect your “meet my family” rule. Don’t be so dramatic….

There was some other bit about an “fboy” (🙄). Skipping past that bc it seems your main question has to do with the first guy you’ve mentioned.

Radiate143 · Accepted Answer

With words, no. Also, an ultimatum is informing him of what he has tp do tp get rid of you when hr wants to without actually having to do it. If you're having to give ultimatums he probably has checked out and is just pushing buttons for you to leave.

hahahmm · Answer

It's not a masculine thing to be controlled by a woman. I mean, sure a guy may do things he knows you like but he has to believe it's his choice. Masculine energy is about leading not following. Sure, some guys are total followers but still, it's only going to be the very bottom of the barrel guys who would let you control him with ultimatums. And you don't want that guy.

Now let's say I did something I believe is horrible/wrong to my woman. And then she gives an ultimatum that I need to get back to treating her right. That's different because I already believed in what she's saying. I haven't been in that situation tho.

TonyV · Answer

I can tell you an ultimatum would not work with me, I don't play that shit, that's the quickest way to get dumped.

You said it only worked once, how many times have you threatened no sex to make a guy meat your parents? Why don't you tell us how badly it dosent work.

JacobJordan · Answer

Ultimatums almost always work. You just aren't looking at it correctly. See when presented with an Ultimatum everyone knows you pick the not "me" option. If some says its me or the dog you take the dog. If they say it's me or books you take the books. It's me or games. You take the games. Ultimatums are the single best way to ensure one remains single or becomes single. If you want a guy to meet your family first or assign a label just stop picking shit men.

SotiCoto · Answer

I'm guessing you don't understand English that well.
"Ultimatum" is a bit of a charged term.
You can absolutely set boundaries... and by boundaries I mean defining things that you will or won't do under certain circumstances. An ultimatum, on the other hand, is generally forbidding someone else from taking particular actions... and that doesn't go so well.

DrPepper12 · Answer

LMFAO!!! Do they ever work except for that show "Intervention"? No. Ultimatums no longer work in our society. Nor laws, etiquette, ethics or deadlines. The problem with ultimatums are YOU MUST FOLLOW through WITH THE THREAT OR YOU HAVE LOST EVERY DISPUTE WITH THAT PERSON FOR ALL TIME!!!

The prerequisite of a family meeting is a tough one that you seem inflexible on. You're going to have to choose

Berethor · Answer

It called Lysistrata Gambit, sometimes it work, but he might find another girl for sex.

Anonymous · Answer

The only time ultimatums would work is if it's in good humour and you've already amassed a huge amount of credit in his eyes.

Generally speaking, I would strongly advise against being manipulative, authoritarian, and against using sex as a weapon. Two can play that game and then noone wins.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope, neither will your bad spelling. I would drop any female who tried to blackmail me like that. It is controlling behaviour. Typical modern female.

handsomelad70 · Answer

Sometimes, but often not, as with many women.

Juxtapose · Answer

Frankly us guys are sick of emotional manipulation and don't respond well to it.

Still-alive · Answer

No, if you have to make an ultimatum then you don’t love them.

jahaims · Answer

If you have to do all that the guy isn't into them

LiamJHayden · Answer

They work to get rid of me.

lorenzomichael · Answer

Fuck no! Hold up maybe if they don’t have shit.

Pterodon · Answer

They do work but only if followed through

TeraGER · Answer

Depending on the person

abc3643 · Answer

NOPE

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

It depends on how much he likes you

patois · Answer

Nope.

sheikalana · Answer

Hell no.

Do ultimaniums work on guys?

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