When’s the appropriate time?

[Anonymous]

When’s the appropriate time to start dating someone after they separate from their wife? I’m being his friend through this time but I deff think he likes me like I like him. He’s currently separated but they are in the selling the house and splitting things stage. Currently still living with each other. But have been separated for months.

[SallyTho87]

You need to really think of HIM in this scenario. He needs a friend, and you are supporting a friendship, while also hoping and expecting your friendship will lead into a relationship? That may NOT be how the situation pans out at all.
HE is going through a lot, a divorce is a huge emotional event, that takes a toll on someone in many ways, espeically if children are involved.
Even if he and his wife are separated or divorced, it doesn't mean his feelings are instantly gone from his ex wife, and his relationship he shared with her.

Let HIM dictate the friendship, as maybe he just wants a true friendship with you and nothing more. You're holding onto the guy with hopes he will like you romantically, but you have to realize he might NOT actually want to date, or get involved in a relationship for many years. Divorces affect everyone differently, and he needs time, LOTS of it.

Be there as a friend, but please, if the hope of dating this guy is what is keeping you around, and you are being his friend just to have that opportunity to date him, that is YOUR wants, not his. It likely will not work out the way you want it to, so i recommend focusing on YOUR own wants, while still being his friend and supporting him.

[Changiis07]

I would say the appropriate time is when he def has moved out and moved on, even though they have been separated for months they could still be friends with benefits. It's tough because you don't want to be the rebound

[Oliverlogan263]

Okay, so this is a tricky situation. As a general rule of thumb, I'd say wait until the divorce is finalized before dating him officially. Here are a few things to consider:

- Emotionally, he may not be fully over his marriage yet, even if separated for months. Divorce is a long process.

- Legally, things could get messy if he starts a new relationship before legally single. Don't want any drama there.

- Out of respect for his ex, I'd give it more time after they fully separate living situations. That transition period can stir up emotions.

- Take it slow - keep getting to know each other as just friends for now. Let natural feelings develop without pressure of dating.

Once the divorce is finalized - like papers signed finalized - then I'd say it's more appropriate to explore something romantic if you both still feel that way. But keep communication open and take it step-by-step.

Your feelings are valid, but his emotional availability may not fully be there yet. Patience and caring for all people involved is best I think. Hope this gives you something to think about sis! Let me know if any other questions come up.

[Jkgordon]

Let it happen naturally their is no rules for real love~