How to deal with distance?

[Anonymous]

He seems interested in me and i am too.. but distance kills me inside 💔 i want to be together but prefer to be with him in real life.. I don't know what to do 😭

ps : i am Arab student and he is European so the visa acceptance for me is low, and my family is conservative if he want to come here and meet me, i really see a future with him, but am keeping it platonic online

[DishLady]

Ok, so I was with a guy in a ldr at a time where we were young and both of us had to travel. The reunions were amazing 😏☺️, but the distance for days on end were killer. We had to keep up with phone calls and little IM games we both thought were fun and engaging. We figured it out for a little over two years before we agreed to part ways. All I can say is... where there's a will there's a way.

It's way harder if you've never met before bc there's nothing to gauge your attraction of commonalities on, so be careful in making any declarations.

How long has this been going on with you two?

[Sugar100]

I have same issue I cannot get a serious good boyfriend here in my town & I’m talking to guy in other state. We met once in my state as he was on vacay. But he went back home& 2 months passed & he got job for the summer so we can meet each other & he’ll be closer to me 5-7 hours away only. So we’ll meet for 2nd time but I’m alone I look single , everyone still seems I have no boyfriend. That guy isn’t next to me daily , we aren’t living together , how is texting , a relationship? I’m alone. How is being alone a relationship?

however I truly cannot find a good guy that I connect with & I pray this guy is my serious boyfriend soon & we meet family & he asks me to live with him one day.

😔 I can’t be long distance all year tho. As I’ll look single. If he don’t meet family & ask to live with me this year it might be over.

[Anonymous]

You’re not being honest with yourself. If you were then you’d know LDR relationships aren’t made for you, and just be done with it. You’re putting yourself through unnecessary traumas with no silver lining in this situation. You’re falling in love with the fantasies you have of being with and and for the future, not living in the real world and seeing how toxic this is for you.

[Asker]

Yeah i told him i hate Ldr and we are friends, i meant distance can be solved in future but not now i am scared he run away

[Opinion Owner]

Is this something cemented that’s going to happen or something you’ve talked about mostly? Because the future is a nice placeholder of a word until months are passing with no change. It can’t healthily stay like this for a long time. You know that.

[Asker]

I always tell him that i want to stay platonic with cause i don't wanna lose him if he ever get a girlfriend irl, but he told me he is attached to me and want my attention i guess he is starting to falling in love and i really care about him, he supported me when i had problems

[Opinion Owner]

Just saw your other post and honey this poses way too many obstacles. You can’t even introduce this man to your parents, let alone tell them how you met they’d never allow it. I would know, I was in your boyfriends shoes for two years before we had to break up because his family was traditional and wouldn’t let it happen.

[Opinion Owner]

You may be better off accepting friendship only, but are you really comfortable just being platonic? I’d imagine that would be hurtful to advise him on other women one day.

[Asker]

Yes i always tell him to invite me to his marriage as a joke and i always advice him in dating etc.. but since last time i think he loves me he sent a voice message and i felt from his sigh and voice that there's something, he said that sigh is bc he is very comfortable with me and always praises me and i love that.. but am broken already, if we continue talking and i get a job i'd fly to him💔

[Asker]

I feel sorry for what you went through bit if he was truly the one, he would fight his family and cultures for you

[Opinion Owner]

Come on, you know as well as I do that if your family is devout in their religion then they won’t accept him. You’d really risk your relationship with your family? For me, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to fight, it’s that I knew what that fight meant, and I wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt of ruining his relationship with his family. At the end of day though, you have to do what your heart tells you. If you’re ready for that move, then hopefully he is too.

[Anonymous]

If he loves u he will marry u and shift to your place

[Asker]

I don't wanna live in my country tbh i wanna leave to him but I don't know how:( i still study at uni and have no money yet

[Anonymous]

Do you live in two diffrent countries?

[Asker]

Yes, he is in Europe and me in arab country

[Opinion Owner]

I understand but i thought no Arab girl were interested in European guys

[Opinion Owner]

So would you start work after university

[Opinion Owner]

Where do you live?