Distance relationship?

[Anonymous]

I’m 18, boyfriend also 18, known each other in real life since 6 years but I had to move back to my homeland, we haven’t seen each other since 2 years and we decided to be in a relationship, though I may love him I can’t handle this type of relationship, he’s also very jealous, always thinks I’m lying about stuff for example when I’m busy, gets mad easily especially when I hang out with my friends saying he hates them. I love him and wished a future with him yet I don’t think this relationship is right, I don’t think it’s going to work but I don’t know what to do, don’t have the courage to say anything. Of course there’s a lot more to the story, for example few weeks ago he blocked me because I didn’t have the time to call but time to hangout with my friends, if he hadn’t blocked he would’ve known that it was a birthday party from a friend I see once every few months. Don’t know what to do, I’m exhausted of being blocked. Opinions?

[DoggyDude]

Okay, so is your issue here (wondering if the relationship is right) because you've found yourself more and realised this guys isn't ticking all your boxes and feel someone else might be a better fit? or is this just that his jealous behaviour is souring how your feeling for him and making you feel you both are incompatible for it?

If your feeling the relationship isn't right because your discovering your wanting to try to meet new people and feel that you've played out the relationship you've had. Then you should absolutely just, as gently as possible, let him know that. It will always be hard, especially if you still care, so you need to know your ready to move on and be sure your ready to let go what you had together (be very certain, and know why, so if things change you can be confident you decided for reasons which make things right).

If your just feeling awful because of his blocking, continuious jealousy and unbased mistrust, then you should do him the service of talking to him about why he's being like this. Listen to what he says, absorb it (if you disagree try to listen it out, but if he's going into fantasy territory making up stuff you know isn't right say so... that is, if its just 'off base' listen and deal with the wrongs at the end, but if its 'unhinged' politely correct right away). What your goal should be is to understand together why he's so jealous and if anything your doing is fuling that, and indeed if its at all reasonable jealousy. Once you figure it out, meaning either its unreasonable and unfounded, or its reasoned but not correct understanding on his part, then make any concessions your willing to make, but make it very clear to him that unless he can treat you as a person as well as a girlfriend and respect your discression, you may have to end the relationship.

Either way, best of luck and no guy should be dictating any partners behaviours and jealousy (whilst understandable) needs to be tempored with trust, and he needs to know he can trust you (if your wanting to reset the relationship) and you need to know you can trust him to trust you (meaning not interfer and have your best interests at heart, not be trying to force your choice of affection).

Honestly, sympathise with this guy, he obviously feels your special and doesn't want your relationship to end; He's young and needs good advice and to learn he can trust you, teach him either he can trust you or show your honest and politely break up, without malice.

Hope that helps.

[Asker]

The thing is that we are long distance and it makes all of this way worse, he never talks, he just blocks even when he’s upset with the tiniest silly things. He’s not willing to hear me out because every time I try to explain he agrees with me but does the same thing not considering my feelings, I have begged him many times to talk instead of blocking, but he doesn’t listen, just blocks me all day even consecutive days without telling me what I did wrong, I worry all day crying in bed only for him to come and tell me the stupidest thing or act as if nothing happened. It happened so often. He gets mad easily, I always apologize but when I’m upset over something he does wrong I end up being the one apologizing again.

[DoggyDude]

Nod, it sounds like your in a abusive relationship with him. If he's not listening or caring how his behaviour affects your but only focused on his feelings of hurt. You should extricate yourself, as kindly as you can, giving him all the information regarding how it's his behaviours forcing your hand. If he manages to 'grow up' maybe he will come back with concern for you, over his own feelings of hurt and worry about stuff you do.

Given you've been involved together somewhat since your young, it may be he's just not had an opportunity to learn better (here meaning you've cared and tried even when he's continued to be unreasonable like this, reflecting you care deeply for them). Given this, the probability is you will want to give yourself the confidence he knows why your stepping back, and is unable to fictionalise this as some other narrative. So, maybe write him a letter, or send him an email which you can determine he's received it, let him know in person that your stepping back, if he listens good explain in person, if he won't, just text or whatever to indicate the email explains more and there are things he can do to turn this around if he cares to (meaning don't slam the door there, just close it and be confident you've given him the best chance to 'grow up' with regards to the way he's treating you).

[DoggyDude]

Then just enjoy spending time single, if you meet someone new, take it very slowly because 6 years isn't something to just throw away idly. Though putting up with the kinds of emotionally abusive behaviour is not either something you should put up with.

That way, if he's just immature, this may teach him to aprechiate you more and come back before he loses you (don't ever state that to him, lest he might see this as a thread instead of a simple sensible option).

Hope that makes sense and may help. Sorry your having to deal with such behaviour.

Oh, one last note, for all the times he does block you, consider if there's any merit in it (it doesn't change my other advice, but the amount of time you give him to 'correct his romantic course' will depend on how much you can sympathise with his hurt feelings).

Good luck

[Billlewis]

Long distance relationships can often be very productive and satisfying, but they do have their drawbacks, as well.

[SueShe]

This relationship is bound to fail. What you mention is nothing more than a progressive poisoning of the relationship and this toxicity is also going increasing, the longer the separation lasts.

I presume that your boyfriend is in the same age group as you are thus he is in his prime age where his testosterone does the talking. I don't want to make things worse but do you honestly believe that he is leading a monk's life? It is time to wake up and realize that while he may be mad at you, he is certainly not living in a monastery and fully celibate.

If he does not trust you, then there is nothing you can do to change his mind. The longer you are separated, the more jealousy and mistrust will dominate his reactions.

Being blocked is just the first step in his reaction. You are already aware of what will happen next. Get ready to face a separation, not just in distance but also in relationship. Sorry to be so blunt but you have to realize that you have past the point of no return.

[Asker]

Of course this is the kind of opinion I was asking for so there’s really no reason to apologize, the thing is when we were young he treated me like I was a real princess, but yes not everything is perfect. The worst of it all is I moved away from the land we both lived in because I hated it, everyday I cried nonstop wanting to move back to my homeland, now that I’m finally here he expects me to move back there. Saying he’ll provide for me but honestly I don’t care. I want to break up, I hope he breaks up, but I just can’t do it myself

[laly520]

to be direct with it without making u read pages, move on

it won't work out

[AI Opinion]

Diving into the sea of love from afar can be as thrilling as it is daunting! 😍 But when waves of jealousy and misunderstandings start towering over, it can turn a sunny love story into a stormy affair. Being blocked because life happened and you couldn't call? That's a red flag fluttering in the wind of your long-distance love saga.

Navigating through a relationship where trust is on thin ice and jealousy is the shark lurking beneath is no easy swim. Love, at its core, should feel like your favorite cozy blanket, not like you're constantly tiptoeing on eggshells! 🥚💔

You've got a big heart, and it's clear you care deeply about this relationship. However, it's crucial to remember that love is a two-player game where both need to feel valued, trusted, and understood. A relationship without these is like a ship without a compass - you'll find yourself lost at sea.

Finding the courage to express your feelings and concerns is key. Open communication is like the lighthouse guiding ships home. It might be scary to initiate that conversation, but it's essential for navigating through the dark waters of uncertainty.

If the thought of this chat sends shivers down your spine, remember it's okay to seek safe harbor. Sometimes letting go is the bravest thing you can do - not just for you, but for both of you. Love should lift you up, not weigh you down with blocks and doubts. 🚀💕

Whatever decision you make, ensure it leads you towards happiness and peace. Life's too short to be anything but happy. Don't forget, you're the captain of your ship; steer it where your heart finds calm seas and sunny skies. ☀️🌊

[Anonymous]

you’re a little bit too young anyway to be dating when you’re in a serious relationship you have to be very mature the both of you,