Long Distance Relationship?

[Anonymous]

I'm in a long distance relationship with this guy for over 4 months and we plan on meeting one day in person. My problem is that sometimes we spend a good 1 or 2 hours talking on the phone and then after some days its like he completely ignores my text or ignores my call and not even return back the call yet I clearly see him actively online. Should I be worried that he "might" be cheating on me or is it something else? What should I do if he finally replies back to my text or call? Should I ignore him too for the same amount of time he ignored me back?

[ChrisMaster69]

With LDR’s you need to assume that the other person can. ‘Cheat’. As it’s an LDR it’s not exactly cheating in the scheme of things, unless of course they are married etc and cheating on the other person with ‘you’ (general you).

I have had a couple and met a few of those I’ve had with, realistically online relationships are purely emotional ones and it’s there both sides need to agree some. Boundaries and realistic expectations.

You can have the very real situation where the other person meets someone in real and simply bins their online presence.

At some point in an LDR you agree to either meet up or not meet up, then you put in how that will happen, importantly if it’s simply a thought or is actually achievable.

me with a LDR with someone living in Australia and me in the UK, is on the scheme of it, not really an achievable. meet up, however I go to Australia in 2022, so that actually adds in a chance.

For your specific question. It could be a multitude of reasons, always have a back up method of contacting each other, just in case the other persons email is hacked, locked out, application you use is locked etc, or simply power outage or internet down for xx days.

if in the back of your mind you accept that you could simply be one of a number of girls, he is chatting to, online and in real, then that emotional slap you get will be lessened.

A simple email, saying you are concerned and then accept he will be in touch after xx days. Just make it clear in an email, how you feel and could they respond.

be polite and nothing about cheating etc, a bit of concern to if they are okay.

[Asker]

You are very right about that. You can never really know how serious the relationship is until you guys meet in person, because you can see more of their body language. Even though meeting up doesn't guarantee a long lasting relationship, it gives you an idea of their type of person you are dealing with. Thanks very much for helpful information.

[ChrisMaster69]

@ Pink Anon, no problem and good luck, but please be realistic with these things, our brains like fooling us.

[ChrisMaster69]

@ Pretty Pink Anon thank you most appreciated

[CutiePi]

I've never had a long distance thing, but I can't imagine the insecurity I would have. I wouldn't stoop to the same level as what is bothering you. be honest with him about your feelings. good luck!

[Asker]

Thank you dear!😊 and that's true, insecurities are always involved.

[SphynxUK]

Ok, this isn’t a relationship so he cannot be cheating on you.
If he doesn’t have a reason for his absences, he could simply be chatting to other people too.

[Asker]

You're right about that. I shouldn't have such expectations while the other person takes it as something normal.

[Anonymous]

“Plan on meeting one day in person” doesn’t sound like a relationship, sexting maybe

[Asker]

Yes we were planning on meeting one day to decide how we can move the relationship forward to the next level. But no we don't sext which I am fine w/o it.

[Opinion Owner]

I meant that this seems more like a friendship and if you think it’s a relationship you might be disappointed. Had similar lasting even longer ones, this is not a relationship, you practically don't know each other. So I even can't say that he is cheating even if he would be talking with other girls. And if you want to talk with him then talk, if not then not, maybe one day it will progress into a relationship indeed, you can't know now

[Asker]

Thank you for your kind response, I appreciate that!😊 the reason why I took it as a relationship is because him and I talked about it being a relationship. But I also totally understand where you are coming from about it probably being a friendship than relationship. But there is just some certain things we talk about as a couple unlike just a friends topic. Within time when him and i talk again is when I will figure out whether we should take it as a friendship until we meet to make it official. Or if none doesn't work out then adios to him lol.

[Opinion Owner]

Sure. Also note, in the internet you can easier talk about more intimate stuff with different kinds of people, it’s that you can feel comfortable because you dont really know each other so don’t have any assumptions or expectations from the other person. It is how it works here many times

[Asker]

Thanks very much for the lookout because I didn't see this coming. I will totally keep in mind to not have high expectations or assumptions in order to avoid such heartbreaks. I wish I could follow you but your account is private