Why do women make men play guessing games?

[JHAYES317]

*This isn’t all women of course, but most women in my lifetime I’ve encountered have done this

Like if they don’t like someone, they should be like “hey I’ve lost interest in you” or whatever instead of ghosting them.

Or if they are annoyed or angry, then instead of saying “I’m fine” when asked but then act passive aggressive, they should just say they are upset and how the other person could make it better.

Etc

[ProbablyClueless]

Everything about these situations comes down to the question of control. Guessing games keep the woman in control.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I have dated, and broken up with plenty of women who liked to play stupid games! I can't be arsed with all that

[TommyMountainFigure]

Thank you for MHO

[TonyV]

If they've lost interest they've lost interest... why do think someone who isn't interested would be dying to talk to you?

You really gonna act like you've never been passive aggressive? When my girlfriend frequently makes us late to things cause she somehow never remembers it takes 25 minutes for her to get here then we need 30 minutes to get there AND we still need to make a stop on the way, I don't have to explain why I'm upset that she showed up with 10 minutes to get there... she gets the idea.

I don't know what to tell you dude it's not hard to tell when somethings off with your girl, I can always tell, its easy cause they don't act like themselves.

[Seriouslyjojo]

Honestly I don’t know why some women do it. I like to communicate, cause literally anyone in a relationship will tell you communication is key to the relationship. It’s super annoying and I have had some men also not communicate with me in past relationships, and that doesn’t help when I can’t read body language well.


I’m sorry I’m not really able to answer your question, because when I’m upset with something I will say it (pretty bluntly).

[JHAYES317]

@Seriouslyjojo wish more women were like you in that regard

[provokeesmokee]

Here's the thing: reading you're partner is a valuable skill that draws on a lot of intersecting abilities that are desirable in a partner.

Paying attwntion to someone's body language, word choice, tone of voice, actions, and behaviour are all parts of understanding and aeeing your partner.

Why do men think paying attention is a guessing game? It can be a conversation but y'all don't seem to understand that.

[JHAYES317]

@provokeesmokee I’m neurodivergent. My brain is literally incapable of reading body language or seeing social cues. So that’s not helpful if you aren’t neurotypical…

[provokeesmokee]

I'm also neurodivergent and so are all my partners.

If anything, divergence helps you listen even better. You just need to find the ways in which your divergence works for you.

[JHAYES317]

@provokeesmokee all your partners? Are you poly or something?

[provokeesmokee]

Yeah, queer polyamorous.

Neurodivergence is a superpower. I've never know a genuinely intelligent, successful person who isn't neurodivergent of some kind.

[JHAYES317]

@provokeesmokee disagree I hate it. Every girl I’ve dated said I wasn’t good at expressing my feelings…it sucks I don’t feel emotions the same and I never know when to escalate things

[provokeesmokee]

Emotional expression and regulation are skills you can learn, and are especially useful if you are neurodivergent.

There's some good stuff on YT about emotional regulation from therapists, but I heavily recommend irl therapy.

My peers and I who seek therapy have a much better handle on our emotions and expression. There's no shame in getting help to decode your brain's experience of emotion and building up tools and skills you've had trouble building on your own.

[JHAYES317]

@provokeesmokee I was in therapy for several years as a kid, no thanks. I know how to do it, it just feels forced for me that’s the point so I don’t automatically think to do it spontaneously…

[provokeesmokee]

Then sounds like the sort of dating most folks do won't be for you. That isn't to say you won't find people who can and will and want to date you.

Just that you shouldn't try to act neurotypical when you're neurospicy. Own who you are - you'll have more luck that way.

Good luck, man. Giving up isn't the answer but if it's your way, it's your call to make.

[JHAYES317]

@provokeesmokee except I have to be desirable to a lot of women because I’m the lead singer of a rock band…so I can’t afford to lean into the neurodivergence…

[provokeesmokee]

Lmao bro just being the lead will up your game. Neurodivergent artists lean into that like hell.

Your victim mentality is worse than your neurodivergence, frankly

[JHAYES317]

@provokeesmokee chronic medical conditions will do that to ya

[provokeesmokee]

Dude, you really don't need to tell me. I have *two* at least. Somehow I've staved off the other 4 that are genetically likely.

[JHAYES317]

@provokeesmokee 2? I have like a dozen

[Billlewis]

Because they enjoy it, and they know most of us do, too;)

[Loner111]

It's a part of their bullshit... Do it right back to them.