Is it closing myself off if I refuse to date neurotypical women?

[Anonymous]

So being neurodivergent or on the spectrum I had a really bad experience dating a women who was neurotypical it almost made me want to give up dating but now I have rounded into the mindset of only dating neurodivergent women

Updates

+1 y

Really in dating I just desire to be accepted and that so far as been very hard to find In neurotypical women more often then not I get made fun of

[Oliverlogan263]

I don't think wanting to date other neurodivergent women is necessarily "closing yourself off." Here are a few thoughts:

- Dating neurotypical people when you're neurodivergent can sometimes lead to misunderstandings if styles of communication/interacting don't align well.

- Other neurodivergent women would likely understand your experiences better from the start vs constant explaining. Could make opening up easier.

- However, making a blanket rule of ONLY dating neurodivergent may limit your options unnecessarily. Every person is an individual.

- Perhaps keep your mind open but focus dating profiles/activities where you're most likely to meet understanding women like support groups.

- Be upfront about preferences so no one wastes time if not a match. But don't fully close the door on anyone until getting to know them.

- Most important is finding someone who values and accepts you for who you are. Neurotype alone doesn't determine that.

As long as you keep an open yet discerning mind, not ruling anyone out before a real connection forms, I don't think wanting to understand your experience makes you closed off. Just prioritize your comfort and happiness, man.

[osmanthus]

I wholeheartedly agree with you, Logan. Your points were succinct and a mark of sage advice.

It's never a good idea to rule other people out for superficial reasons like what color their eyes are—unless you have a trauma somehow connected to this rather innocent feature. We're all complex human beings underneath it all (skin, hair, bone, etc.) regardless of how dumb, simple, etc. some of us act, behave, or else present or are in this life. Some become more self-aware over time whilst others never become so.

People learn things about themselves as they grow into whoever they are.

[slatyb]

Of course it is. But it's your choice. I refused to date religious women, and that eliminated most of the women in my locale at the time. There's no reason a neurotypical woman would not be able to understand and appreciate you.

[Anonymous]

Yes. It's actually quite unfortunate as you have labelled ALL neurotypical women to be an automatically incompatible with you. Don't let ONE bad grape spoil the bunch!

By refusing to date someone who's interested in you, just for a biological factor that they are NOT neurodivergent, that is incredibly shallow and inappropriate. Shame.

[Asker]

It’s hard to be accepted for you only another neurodivergent person would understand that

[Opinion Owner]

That's entirely false. There are MANY couples with neurotypical and neurodivergent partners, together. Each balance the other very well.
I myself am Neurodivergent, and my fiancee is neurotypical. Everyone I've dated has been. You're setting precedent by ONE bad partner. Neurotypical partner will be worse in my opinion, as there are different levels, different ways your brains work, and since you're dating someone who's brain is ALSO working non typically, it can potentially cause more failure rate than you anticipate.

[Asker]

Can’t be worse then a women who was verbally physically abusive and who said she could date someone normal

[Opinion Owner]

No, however you are LETTING HER , one single experience - ruin an entire category of women who would love to date you, for you. Just as you are.

Please don't just exclude yourself to dating neurotypical people. You will miss out on some serious connections

[osmanthus]

Not really. You just know what you want and neurotypical women aren't cutting the mustard for you.

[CrabCakes11]

Your loss. Plenty of neurodivergent women would probably be compatible if you weren’t close minded

[Asker]

That’s what I’m saying only neurodivergent like myself

[CrabCakes11]

Oh I see I read it wrong. There could be neurotypical women who you’re compatible with

[Peridot25]

@CrabCakes11 Though I’m curious why people say, “Your loss,” when someone doesn’t want to date certain people. Is it a tactic to guilt trip someone?

[CrabCakes11]

@Peridot25 I said your loss because there are a lot of good neurotypical women, so he’s losing out. If you’re somehow being guilted if somebody says “your loss” that’s a problem you need to sort out

[Asker]

The thing is there’s not more often then not neurotypical women don’t have the patience to understand and accept neurodivergent men