Why Do You Think You're Single?

Question

🌹I'm not, but I noticed a lot of people on this app is. It's very concerning that single people spend all their time on here instead of meeting real people and forming connections outside of social media.🎀

✝️So I just want to know, Are you single? If so, why do you think that is?✨️

killake-ko · Accepted Answer

It’s a few things.

1. I’m not completely confident in myself

I struggle somewhat with just loving and trusting in myself in a basic way that is normal. I’m doing much better at it now, but still it’s a battle that I fight.

2. I don’t think I’m attractive enough for the woman that I would actually want.

I’m not the most physically attractive guy in the world, and I don’t feel well established enough in my career to warrant that I would be attractive enough for a woman. I understand it isn’t solely about money, status, and looks but those do likely play roles if I’m not consistently taking care of myself. In addition, my fashion sense is not quite there to my peers so I’m gonna need to reform that.

3. I am very desperate and lack dating experience.

During my earlier teenage years I didn’t have too many female friends and normal interactions with women. Which lead me to believe in normal interactions with women were something more or special. This has fizzled out over the years and such but I think it’s part of the reason why I develop feelings to quickly and that makes it awkward.

4. Paranoia about how exactly to ask.

i eventually dated in senior year this one woman and had a great first date, a terrible second date and eventually she decided to make me a friend. However when she decided she wanted to just be friends she also apologized that she didn’t have the courage to tell me off when I told her I liked her and had asked her to prom. This has been a little bit of a road block that taught me to be more direct with what I want because when I asked her out I did it under the guise of hanging out not dating. So I started to be at least a little more strong with my assertions when I saw future crushes. However I think I may have to course correct and now I’m somewhat scared of what to say because I’m afraid that I might come on to strong but I also want to make my intentions clear and that’s hard to do when relationships are not clear.

5. I’m not sure where to meet women.

of course there’s the bar or library or something else but I don’t go to bars and stuff. I don’t specifically know here a good place would be and such.

6. I’m on this website.

this last ones a joke but ultimately somewhat true. I spend time on websites like this and Quora because I seriously lack romantic connection in my life, and allow my fascination to run rampant.

7. My relationship with god.

As a religious person I’m jealous of people who sleep around and are seemingly free of burden about it, while simultaneously being disgusted at it. In addition I am not as fully devoted to god as a I should be, and ultimately that should be a priority because I know deep down that that is what fulfills me. Because when I am lost in the spirit I am filled. When I am consumed with lust I am depleted.

8. It’s all in my head.

if you haven’t noticed I overthink these things a lot, and i am in the process of learning to just choose something and be at peace with it, no matter if it lead me to good or woe.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Why I think I’m single:
I’m really hard on myself because I constantly feel like I’m not doing good enough at whatever it is I’m trying.

I don’t have a degree yet. I’m 26 with no degree and i feel like it’s a huge knock on me :/ And ever girl I’m into have theirs.

I don’t think I’m attractive enough. Mainly because only older women and guys are the only ones who told me that I look good. Never from the women I’m attracted to. Tbh the last girl that I almost had a relationship with, I don’t think ever mentioned that I looked good :/ and we went on dates and hooked up a couple times.

I hate rejection, I hate failing, I hate not being good at things, I hate losing. I know practice gets you better, I know you can’t be the best at everything and no one’s perfect but jeez I’ve been struggling at this my whole life. I’m tired of watching people do what I want and never being good enough for anyone.

And finally I think I’m single because it’s what life chose I guess. Or at least I’m starting to believe that. I just don’t know why it’s so hard and why I fail at it so badly and so often. Like I’ve never struggled with anything remotely close to the way I struggle at dating, and it feels so embarrassing.

So now I just try to find ways to enjoy my lonesome. I’ve been trying do new stuff and learn new things. But it gets kinda hard when you don’t have anyone to share/talk about it with or cares to hear me yap about it. The only time I get girls nowadays is when I play the sims lol. I try to go meet new friends but once you become an adult it’s gets really hard to make any new friends. Maybe I’m just a terrible person and I just haven’t realized it yet.

Insecure2 · Accepted Answer

I AM single. In my twenties I was more focused on my studies, then finding a job and studying more. Additionally, I AM shy, an introvert and more of a home person and I don't come from a well-off family. I often had to choose between buying a monthly ticket or going to a party, because I didn't want to walk 8 km to uni I always chose the ticket. This also meant that even though I was average looking I couldn't make myself attractive by buying nice clothes, make-up accessories, shoes, etc. I couldn't catch anyone's attention. When I was in primary School I was often ignored or laughed at because of my background and the fact that I was timid or didn't follow my peers in what they were doing. This hit me hard and I was always self-conscious among people. I że tried to be ambitious to stand on my own two feet and not be dependent/a burden on a potential partner, but most MEN I knew didn't care or avoided me saying I was stuck up. I was never good at interacting with others, even now I make plenty of blunders. I discovered that when you are straightforward with the MEN you are attracted to, they run, when you give them subtle hints they don't get them or ignore them. Sometimes they have too many expectations which I can't match up with, for example calling/texting everyday, which I can't do as I AM self-employed. I work a lot at flexible hours and I don't really know what to talk about each day which is just mundane. Plus I want to live my own life (cook a metal, take a shower, read a Book, go shopping) and not get stuck to the screen all the time. I don't even spend so much time on Gag. Just write a bit from time to time and then leave for a week or two.

MolM923 · Accepted Answer

I’ve had too many bad experiences in my past relationships. My first boyfriend turned out to be a gay man and closeted so he was trying to get me to marry him and be his “lavender wife” so he could go off on these gay cruises and have sex with other men whilst I stayed at home. My second boyfriend was emotionally and sexually abusive and brandished guns in supermarkets and tried to get me to join a cult.

Needless to say now I’m very happy being single and I will not tolerate any more mistreatment. I will enjoy my peace while it lasts and never settle for less when I eventually find my life partner

Anonymous · Answer

I'm ugly. I'm under six foot. I make way less than six figures. I'm at an extreme disadvantage right there, even before I say "hello." Even if I had a super stable job in a high demand field... I doubt I'd be able to find a great single woman who would love ME (verses what they can take from me (or how they can "use" me)).

And I know that. I know how little I get genuine smiles, how little I get flirted with... I haven't been flirted with in YEARS.

I don't know how to talk to women in a "hot" way. I pretty much stopped trying to flirt because it was seen as shameful, and I got laughed at, or humiliated for it... kept getting treated like crap for trying. Women have made it clear they don't want me around. If women make it clear they don't want to talk to me, I'm not going to waste my time and get hurt by showing interest.

I'm a joke. Hell, friends have made bets about how long I'll remain single, measuring in years; or if I'll ever be married; or if I'll be in a relationship that lasts more than a month before she decides I'm too big a loser to keep dating... It's "hilarious."

Anonymous · Answer

I've never had a girlfriend due to my insecurities. I have many girl friends I like spending time with and I think I'm funny/interesting for some.

The insecurities I have are mainly physical cause, even if i workout a lot (I'm not that far from my ideal body) and I'm tall, the fact that I'm losing my hair at 21 is ruining my life (with hair, I think i still had some chances to be considered good looking) and my stuttering problem makes things worse. I've tried taking meds for hair loss but they did literally nothing.

Plus, I usually don't go outside (in the evenings) cause reading a book/watching a movie (I'm keen on theatre and cinema, and would like to work in the movie industry) seems more reasonable to me (and I hate crowded/loud places). I basically love hanging out with people I REALLY like spending time with.

I've even tried dating apps and similar things in the past, but they made my self esteem even lower.

To sum it up, in the short term: i don't see how I'll ever meet someone interested in me (both due to my balding thing and my social preferences).

TheRealPepperPotts · Answer

Because I have chosen to be for the moment, and I'm a chronic overthinker, ha! I am thinking about dating again, though. I feel like I'm in a good place emotionally and know myself better than I did. I also know that having someone to share life with is better for me in every way.

But I'm deliberating because I've been considering going back to school to finish my degree. Dating and college are hard to balance, and I don't know that it's even prudent to date as a widow with kids. Part of me has thought about just raising the kids, getting them on their way and then dating later on. I will likely need to just shut my eyes and dive in at some point! :D

Kelley1 · Answer

Since I am of the age when young women are at their peak desirability and because I'm looking to get married, it must be because my standards are too high. I could get married tomorrow if I had lower standards. However, so far, the guys I want to marry are not asking.

If I am not married or engaged by age 20, I will lower my standards a bit because I don't intend to hang around hoping for the improbable while my sexual desirability is falling.

Anonymous · Answer

Both personal and objective reasons.
All the girls who are into me are quite promiscuous. Call me what you what, but if they would sleep with anyone, they are not worth pursuing.
Girls who are decent keep rejecting me or flaking. I don’t mind admitting and telling people I don’t have any success with girls I find attractive. They are not into me, maybe I’m not good looking or I don’t have a high social status. I am not entitled to anything. I’m building a career and it’s not going well at this moment and I’m not sure if I’m gonna make money and be successful, and I don’t have the mental space necessary to pursue women all day. I dedicate my free time to going to the gym and playing football.

Objective reasons: we are more on social media and less in person, girls I like are chronically single. They reject every guy, not only me

Ευδεμονια · Answer

Honestly speaking, there are a lot of reasons why I’m single and I think I can speak for some other people here too… I’ll provide some examples:
- fear of other’s judgement on approach to other people
- fear of losing someone in an eventual relationship
- fear of SELF judgement in case of a failure
- fear of being too inexperienced
- very low self esteem.

Those are some examples about me but I’m pretty sure a lot of other people match.

Surely · Answer

I was single into my fifties. I blame it on working with all men. Working weekends and second shift most of my career. You usually heard about parties and get together after the fact. Or you would get there late. When everyone was passed out or going home.

Anonymous · Answer

Guys can barely get the nerve to have a conversation with me. If we do, they get weird and nervous and nothing happens. No one is interested in a relationship just what they can get and after being played so many times, I'm pretty wise to that so since that's most guys... I'm alone.

Loner111 · Answer

I'm afraid of getting in trouble for trying to talk to girls as things could be misinterpreted and it be harassment, stalking...

Because of that, I don't approach women and it obviously causes me to stay single.

Aside from that, I'm a hard worker, responsible with obligations and financial ones too, enjoy the outdoors, I exercise, I love my long curly hair and have been told it's beautiful. Aside from that fear, I think I should be married by now with kids.

SunnyRS · Answer

Cause for the earlier parts of my life I wasn't looking for love Or relationship, and the once I had were more of a lifestyle than a relationship but now, I cannot completely get out of it and most girls don't want that kind of permanent relationship.

DreamLife7 · Answer

Thank you!! You read my mind. I'm not single either but I've noticed a lot well a large majority of people on here keep bringing up dating apps. Like dude , go outside like a normal person and meet people. I think a lot of these people lack skills in human interaction because they spend their waking life here, take everything personal, post common sense questions and it's just weird to me. Nothing about it is healthy.

paledreams · Answer

Luck. 👀😋 At least I never ended up like most, wasted their 20s full of regrets and herpes to show for it or an unexpected handful of now offspring to financially support - so I'm glad I ended up with neither and stayed single 😀 lucky me.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I met a lady at age 28 and that turned out not good, and I met another one at age 35 so two bad relationships so better for me to be single for now.

Yannae · Answer

I was single because I made zero effort in finding someone. when I did put effort, I only found women who were in a hurry to get in a relationship so I kept looking. Finally found someone who was just as cautious.

Princesspd · Answer

I am not single, but if I am it would be that I love being with different men.

skidawgkc22 · Answer

I actually addressed and explored that very question on my podcast. The episode link is provided.

At3mis24 · Answer

Because all men cheats and I don't want to take the risk to be cheated on!

BetaBucks · Answer

For women, it's weight and for men, it's creepiness.

JHAYES317 · Answer

I’m not conventionally attractive?  Primarily due to medical conditions (including lack of height, endowment, and neurodivergence), but I’m also broke and live with my parents…

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

I don't put myself in enough new and uncomfortable situations. However I'm planning a move abroad very soon and the last thing I need in the near future is a reason to stay

ICanSmellTheCosmos · Answer

Because my interests are extremely niche and male-dominated, because I'm autistic, and because I've been very sheltered (can't relate to most people). Also, I live in the middle of nowhere.

A_Nihilist · Answer

Recently taken.

I was single for the longest time because I don't particularly enjoy social events and there's no real place for introverts to outwardly date one another.

I met my current partner at a metal club however.

Jennz6 · Answer

I’m single because nobody wants a relationship with a woman who has a past life like mine

Jerre · Answer

I am now single by choice. I was once engaged, 25+ years ago but she was killed in an auto accident 2 weeks before our wedding. Just haven’t found someone to replace her.

Wiredone · Answer

Thankfully I'm not single and haven't been for 30 years. I feel sorry for single people these days

DKinSmashUltimate · Answer

It's hard to find somebody that I actually like who also likes me.

Twalli · Answer

When I was it was a combination of me not being that attractive physically and paralyzing shyness.

YevBor · Answer

Because I didn't want to change myself to be desirable for someone. And relationship impossible without constant changing and improving yourself.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I haven't found a lady who can tolerate me long term in a romantic relationship.

Enginn · Answer

Because I'm not married? Maybe one day I will the right woman and marry her. Marriage is a big responsibility. Being single is freedom.

cth2188 · Answer

Yes I'm single and not interested in dating anymore - it's very toxic and fake - the likelihood of me finding a compatible partner is becoming difficult

linka_pat307 · Answer

Who says this app is for connecting... what if we are not single just. showin it on the profile. by the way many people here have wrong information on their profiles... can't judge a book by its cover

Peridot25 · Answer

Because I don’t want to meet anyone

Jrg98 · Answer

Married just passing time

Theodoricus · Answer

Because it's my choice. Eagles fly alone.

DishLady · Answer

Bc I want to be.

MacDaddyRico · Answer

I choose to be single.

Darkest-Knight · Answer

I'm single because I won't ask anyone out.

PeterLegg91 · Answer

Bit hypocritical your on it 😆

FenixG45 · Answer

Yes, I'm single and ND. And that's probably why.

Anonymous · Answer

Being transgender doesn't help

Why Do You Think You're Single?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

I met a lady at age 28 and that turned out not good, and I met another one at age 35 so two bad relationships so better for me to be single for now.

Why do you believe you are single?

Why Do You Think You're Single?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

I met a lady at age 28 and that turned out not good, and I met another one at age 35 so two bad relationships so better for me to be single for now.

Why do you believe you are single?

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