My guy friend keeps putting me down?

[Anonymous]

I’ve recently started dating (after being quite closed off since a bad break up)
I’ve noticed my guy friend has been a bit negative about it, commenting on things about me that are red flags, saying it won’t work out etc. I think he’s joking…. But I’m not sure? I replied back and said well it’s a good thing you ain’t the one dating me then! And he said yes 100%.
urmmmm… any idea why he’s being a bit of an arsehole?
If it continues I’ll definitely bring it up

Updates

+1 y

Just to add - we’ve been good friends for like a year and a half, this is different behaviour really. He’s always been jokey but not sure about this one!

[DishLady]

My close male friends did nag me the very few times I had serious feelings for a guy, even recently when I met up with them and was looking so happy, etc. over a guy I’ve been crazy-over-the-moon about for two months. They’ll tease me to test and see how serious things are with the new guy. But those are friends I’ve known for 10+ years and I know they have no motivation other than to see me truly happy. They’re like brothers.


If this is a relatively new guy friend (1-3 years is still “new”) he may have a different motivation. Best ways to know is to ask him why he’s teasing you about your new romantic interest.

[Makeushiver]

Usually sign of his own insecurity and a pretty unpleasant way of dealing with it. If one party feels like they may be dating "above their weight" meaning he believes you are more attractive than he would otherwise get on an open market ( looks, intelligence, salary etc.) he may need to feel like the only way he can make you feel like he is attractive is to somehow convince you of shortcomings that he is either inventing or exaggerating.

[Yannae]

I'd turn it around "Good thing I'm not dating you"