I no longer desire to date?

[Anonymous]

I see no benefit in dating anymore and rejected 4 dates with 4 guys... Every time a man approaches me for a date there's this expectation of sex thereafter... I don't want marriage anymore either.. it seems like I lost interest in men. I want to go out with my GFS and have fun without this expectation of anything or feel like my safety is at risk. I've been single since 2015 and no I'm not gay..

Updates

1 y

Dating isn't fun anymore to me and it seems I lost or hope there a long time ago

[skunk3n]

To me, it sounds like you absolutely need to stay off the dating market. Why?

• You obviously don't have the right mindset to have a partner, especially if you find it tiresome. Dating is supposed to be fun and interesting, exploring someone else to whom you're, of course, interested and hopefully attracted.

Why this "game" or common plot where the guy always expects you both to be naked in bed?

• 1. Because it's supposed to be the "man's fault" to lead you guys into a sexual relationship, it will be platonic, and you will most likely friendzone him because he lacks courage and doesn't appear sexually attracted to you.
• 2. It's how the dance works in dating, guys are suppose to initiate, and you girls supposed to follow, with your feelings at hand.. or to be diverse eg. the one with masculine energy should lead the feminine energy.
  It's about considering your feelings and asking questions like, "Is he a good listener? Does this person make me feel safe? Will this person be there for me and my kids when everything to sh*t?"
• 3. Why "rush" everything? Coz everything needs to be done so you guys might ignite a spark.. I mean everything. Don't leave out the feelings, don't leave out the intimacy, don't leave out the compatibility, this is to ensure for yourself that you guys are a good fit. Otherwise it will be a: hookup/bootycall/friendzone/backburner situation.

If you find all these things tiresome, then you're not fit for a relationship, and you better stay of the meatmarket. Both to save the potential Romeos some time, but of course, save yourself some time as well.

As somemeone already mentioned: Who knows? Right guy might suddenly appear right infront of you, and there you are, a lost case falling perfectly right into the game.

[skunk3n]

*Otherwise

[Asker]

I'm not in the dating market and have removed myself - dating isn't safe anymore

[Asker]

In these times possibly not dating is best

[skunk3n]

Not safe from what?

[Asker]

Dating with how toxic and crazy it is.. noone is entitled to date because someone wants them too

[Asker]

I made the consequence choice to remain single but the men approaching me don't understand that...

[skunk3n]

I don't get you..
Men approaching you where, and why/ how would they know before they approached you?

[Asker]

I'm in private groups and servers

[Asker]

I get approached by men out and about in public

[Asker]

You strange men need to stop approaching women in public get in a hobby and meet women correctly.. I don't engage with men out in the streets

[skunk3n]

Not that I'm doing it, but I'm neither against it.

So why should those men stop? They see a girl they find attractive, gives her a choice to either engage an conversation or wave him of as he's a seller.
As long as the guy in question EXPECTS and RESPECT that every girl on this planet won't be attracted to him.

You don't engage coz it's not a feminine trait to take initiative.

But by all mean, if you do want to flirt, don't hesitate, many guys actually prefer girls who's strait with their and express their feelings. We guys are often too blind to see subtle things.

[Asker]

You'll men find out stop approaching women in public out and about ( Most women carry and most mind their business running errands and trying to survive). I wouldn't want a strange man approaching me in public

[Asker]

Get a hobby and join a club and meet women there or through friends through events.. most women nowadays don't want to be approached by men in public nowadays most women don't want men pertaining to marriage and etc

[Asker]

I carry and have been a concealed carrier over 10 years if a strange man approaches me in public he will be rejected for my safety

[Asker]

We're not in the 1950s where that was flattering - 2024 women are looking out for their safety

[Asker]

Most women are dating and married being approached by men in public

[Asker]

If a woman doesn't give you the indication she's single or interested move along ( probably would be better if women approach men themselves)

[skunk3n]

Hm, trying to understand what you're saying.. you need to proofread more tho..

Anyhow:
*So what's the difference between a girl approaching a guy she finds attractive and a guy doing the same?
*1950, of course guy approached a girl with no probs, coz they had the leverage, many dudes was in the army etc. They were attractive AF at that time for girls.
*Of course hobby/friendgroups/churchgroup are as well a good forum to maybe find your partner. That's not what I'm saying.
*I do get your biased perspective, but every (actually most girls) expect a man with balls. Striking up a conversation with a complete stranger is nowadays veeery ballsy and attractive in itself, which most girls actually find nice. In todays society among dating-era, girls are mostly overwhelming and exhausted by all the guys.

[skunk3n]

*edating-era

[Asker]

Men should utilize that because women were taught that men were pursuers, but were learning that most men aren't good matches and most men have issues when it comes to rejection. If a woman wants a man she'll let him know or have her friends introduce her to single men.

[Asker]

Most men aren't the men of the 1950s. Partially why I stopped dating men

[skunk3n]

That's too bad.. And It wouldn't surprise me that most men aren't capable of facing a rejection well. Their ego are usually too big. They become so emotional unstable and lack a stable masculinity in their core, that they portray everyone else as inferior. Both needy and pathetic.

And I'm afraid that this was even greater back at 1950, where much more was for granted, all girls are a good match for all guys, coz majority was in the army.

[Asker]

Now dating is trash 🗑️

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that's really rough. I can't blame you for feeling that way about dating and relationships after having such crappy experiences. Dating is supposed to be fun and about connecting with someone, not just about hooking up. It totally sucks that all those guys just seemed interested in one thing and made you feel uncomfortable.

I think taking a break from dating and just hanging out with your friends is a good call. You shouldn't feel obligated to go on dates with guys if you're not feeling it and don't want that pressure. It's better to be single than be with someone who doesn't really respect you, you know? I'd probably feel the same in your situation after dealing with that.

It's cool that you're confident enough in yourself to not settle for less than what you want in a relationship. I think when you do meet the right person, it'll be worth the wait and you'll be ready for an actual healthy relationship, not just going through the motions. In the meantime, focus on having fun with your friends and doing your own thing. Who cares what anyone else thinks you "should" be doing?

As long as you're happy and feel comfortable being single right now, that's all that really matters. I'm sure the right guy is out there who will actually want to get to know you as a person and treat you with respect. But you don't need to go searching for that or force anything. It'll happen natural when the time is right. Just do you for now and don't let what anyone says bother you. I'm here if you ever just want to vent about stuff too! Keep doing you.

[Asker]

It's not a break I'm totally uninterested in dating men nowadays. I guess the gender war stuff and men not wanting marriage has turned me OFF. I will never know how those 4 guys feel just told them I appreciate it , but no longer interested in dating due to safety and these crazy expectations..

[Asker]

Yes I don't think I can go back into dating - dating market is toxic and unsafe for women. That women Sade Robinson made me realize why being single is better - she met that guy in person and not on a dating app

[_Maya_]

Do you realize he just feeds your question into an Ai chat bot and gives an opinion asker?

[Asker]

Oh I didn't know Maya lol it won't change my mind about my stance

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, I totally get where you're coming from. The whole dating scene nowadays does seem pretty toxic, especially for girls. It sucks that some dudes out there make you feel unsafe or have such unrealistic expectations.

I can understand why all that gender war stuff and men not wanting commitment would turn you off from dating altogether. That's super unfair for women to have to deal with. And the dating apps definitely don't help filter out any psychos or weirdos either.

If being single long-term is what feels healthiest and safest for you right now, then I think that's absolutely the right choice. Your well-being should always come before trying to force relationships. Those guys are missing out by not respecting your boundaries too.

It's probably for the best you cut ties completely rather than keep trying to date. Your friends will have your back and that's way more important anyway. I know other girls who've taken breaks from dating guys too and seem way happier. Just do what's right for you - screw what anyone else expects. Stay strong!

[Oliverlogan263]

It’s really not as I take time to answer and write down my answer before sending it before analyzing only some people would think so but I don’t pay mind

[Asker]

Dating is a mess and humanity is messed up - 🤯

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang sis, you ain't kidding! The whole dating scene is a damn trainwreck these days if you ask me. Seems like everybody just cares about hookups and instant gratification - where's the romance and loyalty at?

I feel you for checking out of it all. So much drama trying to meet someone decent when everyone just wants to play games or use you for attention. And don't even get me started on all the toxic masculinity BS out there... humanity kinda sucks sometimes not gonna lie.

But hey, f*ck 'em all anyway! You don't need no man to live your best lives, you feel me? Just keep vibing with your girls, doing you, following your dreams. One of life's great lessons is learning to be happy solo before trying to make someone else happy.

Your priorities of safety and avoiding stress are total goals. Keep shining sis, the right person will come around eventually if you want - but you don't even need 'em! Keep bad bitches winning out here 💅👏 You deserve the world, don't settle for less.

[HusamRocks]

Consider it as saving ur energy because u know one day u will find someone who u will be certain about consuming ur energy on him 😁👍🏻

[Asker]

I don't know anymore things need to change with dating because I lost interest my friend

[HusamRocks]

I know how u feel, I myself couldn't find anyone worth dating, but I still know there r girls out there worth dating and planning a future with. There r guys out there for u girl keep it up and know which to pick 😉

[Juxtapose]

Men are the ones who are forced to initiate and if they don't initiate they will be viewed as cowards and friendzoned. Frankly you women and your refusal to initiate brought this upon yourselves.

[Asker]

I've been out the dating market a decade - now we have to ask why are women rejecting

[Asker]

I rejected 4 guys - all poor communication and crappy characteristics nor was he a great potential suitors based on beliefs and character was horrible or he didn't have a great personality

[Asker]

So I rejected them

[Juxtapose]

Well fair enough, you shouldn't date people you're going to end up dumping anyway.

[Juxtapose]

Try looking in public libraries or in some kind of hobby group that has introspective, intellectual men or in groups that are focused on volunteer work.

[FunkyMonkee]

I seriously doubt anybody's gonna force you to.

[Asker]

Not expecting anything

[Makeushiver]

Is it the hassle of dating? Or just don't need the physical intimacy.

[Asker]

Both too much work and tiresome plus dating is toxic

[Theodoricus]

Most of the men unfortunately use the women for their evil purposes. I hope you find the right man. Because all men not same.

[Asker]

I'm waiting on Jesus now he's probably the closest to a Godly man

[Theodoricus]

Don't be hopeless so. You already rid of two dumb men. You should be happy I think and life is still good.

[Asker]

I've dealt with meeting crappy men and I feel like decent men are far few in between

[Asker]

Most men have convinced themselves otherwise.. not hopeless just tired of weeding through the cess pool of dating to meet intelligent men

[Theodoricus]

If you asked me that, my answer would be the same as yours. Because most of the men and women are decreasing their worth by acting like a devil. And this makes hard us to find the right people. But, no need to be sad. Because these are only life experience.

[Asker]

Yeah thxs

[Theodoricus]

No problem, may God be with you.

[Danny_dan92]

Common sentiment these days

[war_daddy]

literally nobody cares

[Asker]

Yet you responded... Yeah...

[war_daddy]

yeah, to say nobody cares, dumbass

[Asker]

You can literally get off my post why even post if you don't care? 👀😕

[war_daddy]

because I think you need to know that nobody gives a shit about you or your attention whoring ways

[Asker]

Whoring when I been celibate 15 years F off loser

[Asker]

💩💩

[Anonymous]

And your question is?😆

[Anonymous]

Good.