I have no interest to date anymore?

[kc_4308]

Based on the fact , the lies , deception, and manipulation that I was put under. I truthfully believe that the person I was talking to a few weeks ago was a catfish because she never showed herself in person and or on video cam in the month we were talking , but wanted to see me in pictures. The other thing, she was a great liar and lied about simple things like a car accident. She went clubbing the same week she was in a car accident hindering her from talking to me on the phone. Due to thins situation, I trust no one and ended it with her as friend because of the lies and deception a few weeks ago. I met her online not for a romantic relationship , but networking and friends. and she lied about wanting a relationship in the beginning playing mind games with me when clearly she knew she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Due to this I can’t see myself dating anyone else anymore due to the lies and mind games that people play and what they’re out here doing.. why I’m guarded and trust no one.

Updates

+1 y

I can’t with dating anymore sorry it why I stopped dating 6 years ago and what’s crazy I wasn’t looking for anything when I met her just friends and networking as always.. due to that I have no desire to date anymore or try

Updates

+1 y

I’ve been single 6 years because I don’t have the patience for how dating is nowadays. I wasn’t dating this person. It’s just like meeting people for friendship and networking because this is all I have time to do. Between my career and family life a relationship is the last thing I want to deal with. I don’t like people playing mind games and stringing me along invading my privacy and personal space. It’s BS like this that steers me from even investing in dating.

[loveslongnails]

Is there a "question" in this post? Pardon me while I spank you.

Sounds like you gave up on dating because of one person. But - you take no responsibility for ALLOWING her to catfish you. YOU allowed a month to go by without video verification. YOU should have insisted on it after a few days when you realized you wanted to continue and were interested. You allowed it to happen. Take responsibility for it. You're old enough to know that if someone doesn't get on a video call and keeps coming up with excuses, they're full of shit. Pictures don't even cut it.

You say she was "a great liar", and that's likely true. But again, you had all these red flags flying and ignored them. Then when it all fell apart, you withdrew and blamed her, not any of it on yourself, and decided (yes, it's a decision) to lose faith in everyone and all dating.

Yes, it's a mean old world with a lot of deceivers, but there are also just as many who want something real, like you once did and probably still do. Take responsibility for your own naivety and realized that everyone gets fooled sometimes. It's part of life. Then, forgive yourself for it, remember your mistakes, don't make them again, and get back in the game because THAT'S what you want. Otherwise, why would you post this in the first place?

[kc_4308]

I haven’t given up on dating because of one person. I stopped dating 6 years ago because of previous dating experiences and how dating is now. Nothing is my fault in regards to this and I wish you people would stop blaming me for the actions of someone else

[kc_4308]

I explained very detailed in a previous response to someone else. My focus right now is my home and moving out of state for my career

[loveslongnails]

I didn't see any responses to other questions. I answered based on the information you provided in the post. Simply put - when someone gets catfished, they MOST DEFINITELY share the bulk of the blame! There are SO many ways to avoid it, and if you don't, point the finger at yourself first. I have no other information to go on regarding your story, or your current focus.

[kc_4308]

I didn’t realize I was being catfished until she admitted to the pictures she sent me wasn’t her and she didn’t know who she was. Most of everything I said couldn’t go into the details. I even admitted to the pictures. I don’t do online dating and I even said that. This was a relationship online, but merely a friendship and networking kinda thing. I stopped dating 6 years ago because of how dating is nowadays and not focused on it

[kc_4308]

You need to learn how to read because clearly didn’t

[kc_4308]

Yes I’m done dating and yes my focus is me , but I don’t like people who play mind games and do what she did. If love is out there it’ll find me one day as in my focus isn’t love it’s me

[loveslongnails]

Whatever you focus on, the "catfish" lesson is simple - pictures NEVER matter !! If you ever meet someone on line again, get a live video call to verify. And then, keep calling spontaneously at different hours of the day in days to come to make sure the first call wasn't orchestrated. And by the way, your explanation was far from crystalline. Good luck to you.

[kc_4308]

Not meeting anyone else online sorry - online dying is crazy. I’m safer meeting people on Facebook and private Facebook groups

[loveslongnails]

Guess what? Facebook IS on line, and you can get fished JUST as easily if you don't take proper precautions. In fact, it's easier to get fished on Facebook because you can create an entire false world. Good luck to you.

[CallmeTheKnight]

I understand how you feel about that I honestly do. But you cannot have trust issues from 6 years ago or a few weeks ago. The next person has nothing to do with what the last person did. I understand that you're hurt, but trust me the best way to accept it is to look at reality. You never met this person and you didn't pick up on the fact that they did not want to talk on the phone or FaceTime you, those are the number one red flags that I would see.

Honestly that's not much I can say to you about it. Things happen but you got to move on. Eventually you're going to get lonely and when you do start dating again you will begin projecting those issues or insecurities of yours on to the next person and they will likely not have that out of you. Either they will confront or, as I would like to say, check you about it or just cut their losses.

You probably still have an interest in dating but you're more likely going to want someone to meet you on your terms in a way

[kc_4308]

I stopped dating 6 years because of the BS - I saw the BS with this person weeks ago why it didn’t last long. I just don’t have time for the BS of dating. I didn’t miss anything I was feeling this way before walking away 2 weeks ago. I don’t have the patience to dating unless I meet the person face to face and right now I now I don’t have time for the BS with purchasing my home and login out of state

[kc_4308]

Moving out of state - these are things I been addressed and why I need to be careful dating nowadays so how you tell me I missed anything? I didn’t include the fine details in this post.

[kc_4308]

No I’m not interested in dating and I stopped dating 6 years ago - me and this person were not dating. I wouldn’t call us friends either - she was someone I was networking with and trying be friends with

[kc_4308]

Oh yeah I don’t have time for a relationship anymore and won’t be it’s a $2000 -$2400 house note in Austin Texas

[MotorcycleMan]

A fair amount of skepticism is healthy, but don't write off everyone because of one catfish.
Learn from it and move forward. Why not get what you want out of life because of one asshole? You are making their problem (being an asshole/catfish/liar) effect the rest of your life.

[kc_4308]

I stopped dating 6 years ago before I met her a month ago. My decision is made off of her it’s based off dating now

[kc_4308]

Isn’t based on her

[erfanhbp]

Just move on with your life and focus on your health, friends and family and profession, mayve one day you will see the rights person.

[kc_4308]

Maybe so

[kc_4308]

Focus is my home and career

[Muffdiver21]

It is understandable u feel like that and can only imagin how it would feel. not everyones the same but unfortunaly thiers a few who are. dont let her ruine ur jugment on people cos thiers someone out thier 4 u. anyway it sounds like its her loss. sure your an amazing person and will find someone who deserves. keep beliveing and it will happen x

[kc_4308]

Those days are over even dating sorry for me

[Muffdiver21]

Thats a big loss cos i am sure ur soul mate will b out thier somewhere. just need 2 meet and date a few arseholes to find them unfortanly

[kc_4308]

I wasn’t looking for a soulmate when I met her just friends and networking like I always do to meet people. I don’t go looking for love - I’ve been single 6 years and I’m content being single because of BS like this. Where you still have people out here playing games. Granted I would have love to be in a relationship, but due to society and this day and time is it truly worth it? My focus is always me and what I need to do to better my life and it’s not love

[Muffdiver21]

Know what u mean with the bs and playing games.2 much of it in this world by horrible people

[kc_4308]

I’ve been single by choice 6 years because of lack of real people

[kc_4308]

I don’t care about a soulmate and finding anyone anymore in cook with friendship and meeting new people as I try and do

[kc_4308]

Meant to say cool * yes I stay to myself and focus on me , but I thought just meeting people would be a start clearly I was wrong and yes people play games too much

[Waldoe]

you can set some "ground rules" you don't need to "give up'... C-C or NO conversation. PERIOD just tell them all that if you can't see their face, you are not going to get involved with chatting.

[kc_4308]

I wasn’t dating her we were friends

[Shihab91]

Sorry to hear that, hopefully one day will you meet someone that will change your mind

[kc_4308]

I don’t have the patience anymore getting ready to move out of state , but my home , and for my career

[Shihab91]

take a break, sometimes love finds you maybe you will meet him after moving out, or at work ;)

[kc_4308]

I don’t date men I’m lesbian even beyond that I’m pretty busy in my life

[Shihab91]

nvm then XDDDD

[CuriousMufuxka]

It seems like you are catfishing here..

[kc_4308]

Seems like your dumb

[In_Trance]

Ok, great

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Chicken sandwiches.

[kc_4308]

Grow up

[Static_In_The_Attic]

https://youtu.be/29UH3Yovrn0