I couldn't be with someone I really loved. I met him in 2017 and it was literally love at first sight. I understand it was attraction at first sight but it was so strong and so intense. The best part was that it was mutual. He felt the same as I did when we saw each other for the first time.
It was a beautiful feeling and I had never felt the way I did. Anyway, we couldn't be together and I had to accept that we were not together and will never be.
He moved away to Spain, found a Spanish girlfriend and I continued living in London.
It was so difficult and I couldn't get over him until 2021. I eventually realised that he would never return back and we were never meant to be together.
I did move on and dated a few guys but ever since I moved on, I can no longer feel any affection or love. I can be attracted to a guy but it doesn't feel the same as it did with my ex. I also have a lot of distrust towards guys and relationships because the guys I dated only wanted to hook up and actually had no interest in me as a person. So I try to remain aloof.
Even if the guy is super attractive, I still don't get butterflies. I dont know what has happened to me.
I'm still a romantic and I still yearn for romance but I don't know if there is a guy I can experience this with.
I dont know what to do.
I'm 32 now but I don't want to be 35-39 and single and lonely. I see so many women in their mid to late thirties who are so insecure and unhappy with their lives and whenever I see them or hear their excuses. I'm always like I dont want to be their shoes.
But with the way I'm going, I don't know.
Is this normal or have I lost the ability to love?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
You are letting too many men hurt you.. You can't love because you are scared and are not allowing love in.. Take some time to heal and focus on you..
For the rest of the guys I didn't have sex with them because u saw through what they wanted so it was ok. One of them left when he realised he wouldn't get sex but one is still around trying to keep contact because his ego can't handle that I wouldn't sleep with him.
Well that is a good thing.. No idea how to help maybe you aren't fully over the guy you loved.. but also lots of guys just don't have that "love at first sight factor" lol I haven't ever seen a guy I felt that way about since High school lol
Even my husband wasn't love at first sight..
Honestly? I think you're mentally and emotionally about 15. I think you got a lot of growing up to do about what love really is. Until then I think it's probably best for you and men both that you don't date anyone.
? Why
Look I understand hurt, getting over it, and moving on with your life. I even understand it leaving a scar. But you were never really with the guy (or at least that's how your post reads). So you're creating an IDEAL that no guy can eclipse. The REALITY is that guy had flaws to. Maybe you never got deep enough to realize them. But this is the point. Love isn't perfection. You're never going to meet the perfect guy. All a person can do is try to find someone who matches thier energy and works as hard as they do at the relationship. It's fine for you to hold on to a fond memory of that guy. But no that that memory is NOT reality. And the longer you cling to that the more life is going to pass you by. Love isn't perfect we're all just the best we can girl.