If you are a romantic guy are you low value?

[Anonymous]

So I treat women with respect I don’t call them out their name, I always remember favorite things and love to do spontaneous surprise dates , I might even surprise her one day with tickets to her favorite concert. She liked sweet scents so I went on the market and got her the highest ranked best rated sweet smelling perfume. Around Valentine’s Day I got her a big pink flower covered bear with a huge luxary chocolate heart container that was fabric.

Updates

1 y

Yeah overall this makes me lose interest in dating because some people would probably change in order to attract women but everything I mentioned above is wired into me and genuinely who I am at the core I’m a good person

[BetaBucks]

Depends. Are you doing romantic stuff to compensate for not having anything else to bring to the table? No masculine traits, no money, to attractiveness?

[Asker]

Nope

[Asker]

It’s just my personality and I also bring other attributes that you mentioned as well as being very intelligent

[BetaBucks]

Then you have value. Maybe self esteem issues though?

I saw you mentioned being in an abusive relationship, and many girls will see a romantic, nice guy as weak and feel compelled to be abusive. Almost like a survival mechanism. I learned that the hard way and it wiped out most of the "nice guy" traits that I had. But being in an abusive relationship completely wrecked my self esteem. I made terrible dating decisions after that.

You have to accept that you are valuable and you are still a good catch, for the right girl.

[BetaBucks]

Oh and to the point about intelligence, some women see that as weak too. Even my wife looks down on me for it. The other guys I've caught her fawning over were not, by any means, intelligent guys. She acts like she likes my brain, but it's obvious that's not what brings her respect. She respects other men over me, obviously. It seems like the only thing that she, and other women, can respect is masculinity. Strength. Charisma. Not nerds. And I'm a nerd in my wife's mind, so why would she respect me as much as those other guys? Does that make sense?

[Asker]

So I’m not a nerd I’m not into nerdy things when I say high level of intelligence I mean being able to show my intelligence level in sophisticated complex conversations examples being right now such as analyzing political situations

[Juxtapose]

Money should have nothing to do with relationships and I am not ashamed to say that. Homeless people can experience love just as deeply as rich people.

[BetaBucks]

But women will still consider that nerdy. They don't care about sophisticated conversations. They like witty banter instead.

[handsomelad70]

No, you're just an old-time chivalrous dude. Believe it or not, I can be quite romantic.

[Asker]

I don’t seem to attract many women and the last women I dated was physically abusive

[handsomelad70]

D**N!!! Was she fat?

[Nikki1989]

Where do men on here get these insane ideas, low value?

[Billlewis]

@Nikki1989 Well, I think he does have a point. Sweet, romantic guys can run the risk of being presumed weak, or sappy by the women who are under pressure to make a snap decision, based on the scant information available to them, before adjudicating the next prospective male companion.

[Nikki1989]

@Billlewis That is just as insane as the original post.

[Billlewis]

Yes, ma'am, as I'm sure you know, I regard your views and opinion as more precious than gold, but I know of what I speak, from firsthand experience. Now, if we want to say that the likelihood of being tossed onto the reject pile based on those attributes alone is very, very slim, I can go with that, but keep in mind, not everyone is as perceptive and measured as you are..

[Billlewis]

I've personally been turned down, before the woman even knew what I look like, just based on her disdain for the vehicle I was driving at the time. Another time, it was springtime, and a bad hay fever season. She returned my call late at night, decided that my nasal congestion tainted voice was a deal breaker and said no thanks. Were those women marriage material? Perhaps not, but they would likely have been more than suitable for a medium term relationship. And those two examples are from a couple of decades ago, a far cry from the cutthroat environment of today.

[Juxtapose]

It certainly can feel that way at times. Not all women but a lot of women seem to want some bad boy drug dealer who doesn't love her as much as she loves him.

[DarkLegacy]

I fail to see the point of this high value and low value nonsense

[strangeatcircleK]

It sure makes me wonder sometimes 🙄 I always feel like I'm last guy picked by the girl team. 😂

[Blue_Brady]

So how does that make you low value?

[Asker]

Because women don’t seem to want this kind of guy

[Juxtapose]

For real, it seems like a lot of women want assholes to abuse them and keep them on the edge of their seat. It's like so many woman have a rape fantasy she wants to live out with her fantasy bad boy and it's fucking wild.

[Juxtapose]

*women have a rape fantasy they want to live out with her fantasy bad boy

[Anonymous]

No?.

[Asker]

I don’t seem to attract many women and the last women I dated physically was abusive

[Opinion Owner]

How often do you put yourself out there? And do you use dating apps?

[Asker]

I use dating apps

[Opinion Owner]

Dating apps are a complete waste of time for the vast majority of men because it puts them at a severe disadvantage. Women get flooded with matches & messages while most men are lucky to get a few matches a day. Because of the unlimited options women on these apps are extremely flakey & have no problem discarding men like trash. Many women are their just to boost their ego or grow their IG following. 95% of the women you text on this app will flake or go ghost on you.

[Asker]

Outside of that I don’t have a lot of interactions with women

[Opinion Owner]

That's the problem, NOT you being a good guy.

[Asker]

Well no women ever approach me

[Opinion Owner]

Women generally don't do the approaching. That's why I asked how often you put yourself out there.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess I have always assumed I was low value because of this too