Why does every woman I try to hook up with ghost me?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been trying to lose my virginity through online dating for a year straight now and every single person that seemed interested in me has stopped messaging me before we can meet up and never replied back.

It’s always the same thing. I match with someone on Tinder looking for “short term fun”. I always tell them I’m a virgin and most of them will be cool with it and keep chatting. Most of the time we’ll agree a day to meet up, it gets to the day and… nothing! They never respond to any of my messages asking if they’re still okay to meet up. Why? If they’re not in the mood that’s perfectly understandable, but they could at least send me a message so I know rather than leaving me completely in the dark.

I’m fully aware I’m not entitled to sex but this is getting ridiculous at this point. As far as I’m aware I’m never pushy, I never spam them with messages and I always try to make sure they feel comfortable with me before before they meet up (e. g asking if they’d prefer to meet in a public place so they feel safer). I’ve had women consistently message me up to the day of and then never talk to me again. I don’t get it, if they don’t want to meet up that’s perfectly fine but why show so much interest and enthusiasm and then do a complete 180 when the time comes?

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude don't worry about it too much. Girls on those apps flake sometimes, it's not always personal. A few thoughts:

- Leading with being a virgin probably makes them nervous about expectations. Maybe play it cooler next time before telling them that.

- Waiting until you match to meet up gives them more time to get cold feet or change their mind. Try asking girls out within a few messages so the plans are set quicker.

- Quality over quantity. Don't just swipe non stop, take your time picking girls who seem actually interested in you through their profile and messages.

- Suggest a public first date like coffee so it's low pressure. Drinks/walking around is better than inviting them straight to your place.

- Don't double text if they don't reply, just move on. People flake, it is what it is.

Don't let it get you down, man. Dating apps are tough. Focus on chatting with a few at a time you really vibe with instead of casting a wide net. You'll find someone cool to meet up with eventually if you keep trying!

[Nirmroth]

Dont tell them you're a virgin this all sounds to set up. Just go to a date and have a good time you both know why you're here without needing to speak it out loud. If the same vibe is good just ask her if she wants to continue this at your home with a bottle of wine or something for starters.

Women dont like it if you're direct like that at least the majority

[DishLady]

There’s some common error you’re making. Look back on the interactions and find the pattern.

[Anonymous]

Because you're talking to a bunch of men on fake profiles. They can't actually meet you.

[Sasquach]

First off don't lead by saying you are a virgin - It puts unnecessary pressure on the other party.

Next, 99% of girls will reject you by ghosting you - it sucks not getting closure, but understand this approach is the standard.

Third, some women just want the esteem boost of genuinely feeling desired they might not actually be looking for a hookup

[Anonymous]

No one wants to be used... go to a bar and don't tell women your a virgin lol