Is a guy offering to pay for a babysitter for a first date creepy enough that it warrants not talking to him ever again?

[Anonymous]

[Avicenna]

Well, the question I have is, why is he so desperate to have a date with a single mom that he'd be willing to do that?

That said, I don't see why that would be "creepy".

[Asker]

How would that not be creepy? A gesture like that would be too much

[Avicenna]

Then just turn him down and say you aren't interested if you're so bothered by it. There are plenty of reasons to turn a guy down, but that is a dumb one, in my opinion.

[Avicenna]

Have you been treated badly by guys you've dated?

[Asker]

Why is it not creepy?

[Asker]

Yes I have been treated poorly by guys in the past

[Avicenna]

That's what I thought- you don't realize when a guy is trying to treat you well.

[Asker]

I'm just nervous about ulterior motives because I know this guy and he likes me but I thought paying for a babysitter was too much for a first date where he suggested coffee or ice cream.

[Avicenna]

Well, would you have someone to watch you kid (s) at that time? You need someone to watch them, right? You can't bring them with you to meet this guy.

[Asker]

Of course. I thought that would be my responsibility to handle not his.

[Avicenna]

Then thank them and tell him that you've already taken care of it

[RebelinSteel]

There is context missing to give a clear response, overall it’s not creepy. Depending on the context it could be viewed as pushy.

[Asker]

Context like what?

[RebelinSteel]

Why he offered, is she working or not, low paid, had he asked previously and she said she could not get or afford a babysitter, was this just a random ‘hey why don’t I pay for your babysitter and we can go out’
If her reason for not going on a date was lack of a babysitter but she was still interested in him, then no it’s not creepy.

[Asker]

It was more of a random 'hey why don't I pay for your babysitter and we can go out' like you said. I already know the guy and it's not a total stranger

[RebelinSteel]

I don’t really view it as being creepy or weird, just someone suggesting a date.

[Asker]

Got it. I never had a guy do that so it kinda shocked me. I'm not interested in him so I didn't respond. I'm a girl that is 6'0 and he is 5'7. It just would look weird you know?

[RebelinSteel]

Height differences are not weird.

[Asker]

I understand it's shallow but guys are usually the taller ones in relationships. Slightly shorter wouldn't be an issue but 4 or 5 inches shorter and that's where it exceeds the norm.

[slatyb]

Why is it bad? I do wonder whether he is ready to be a partner with a woman with children.

[Asker]

He's pursuing me heavily and he knows I have a child so I guess it's not an issue

[Pohjolan]

If you don't pay you are a cheapskate but if you offer to pay you are creepy.

You can't win with women...

[Asker]

It was random and out of nowhere, isn't that odd?

[Pohjolan]

You are a under 24 single mom, its not like most of your kind have much money to spare.
But hey paranoid people are also sometimes correct.

[Asker]

The money ain't the issue. It's just I thought a babysitter should be my responsibility and not his. Also I'm not sure if I'm interested in him. There is a big height difference. I'm 6'0 and he is 5'7.

[Pohjolan]

And did you communicate money not being a issue in advance?
How can you not know whether you are interested in him?
That height difference either is or isn't a issue. If it is then the whole babysitter debacle is irrelevant and if you knew that a guy had a deal breaker in advance then agreeing on a date was pretty stupid.

[Asker]

I never communicated anything to him. We weren't really talking beforehand. He randomly texted me suggesting that we grab coffee or ice cream. I already know this guy from the past. I didn't agree to the date. I simply ignored him. He isn't particularly my type.

[Pohjolan]

So the whole babysitter thing is a moot point.
You didn't really need to ask about this.

[Asker]

I asked about it because I never had a guy do that. It was different so I wanted people's opinion on whether that was weird

[Anonymous]

Not something I would do, but why is that creepy?

[Asker]

How is that not creepy? Isn't that doing too much?

[Opinion Owner]

It's a sign of desperation, but calling him creepy is extreme.

[Asker]

Don't desperate guys have a higher chance of being creepy?

[Opinion Owner]

No, desperate guys just have a higher chance of being taken advantage of. You females are too quick to call a guy creepy.

[Asker]

Was it just a nice gesture? I've been hurt by guys in the past so I'm anxious when it comes to their motives

[4ngelic]

how is that creepy...

[Asker]

Wouldn't that show he is desperate?

[4ngelic]

no, just that he's nice

[4ngelic]

though could be desperate and weird if you dont know him at all and barely talked if you met him on an app. though or else its nice, and shows he's interested

[Asker]

I know him already. He is a guy from the past and we haven't talked much in years. It was random and he texted me while I had my daughter.

[4ngelic]

then it's not desperate or creepy

[Asker]

How is it not?

[Anonymous]

he just want to get sex

[Asker]

Why you say he just wants sex?

[war_daddy]

why is that creepy? are you mentally retarded?

[Asker]

How is that not creepy? I think he wanted an ice cream or coffee date. Isn't that too much considering it would be a first date and although I know him we don't know each other that well.

[war_daddy]

How is that creepy? He's being nice.

[war_daddy]

You're literally SO STUPID

[Asker]

I don't think it's fair to call me names. If someone is that "nice" don't you think they have ulterior motives?

[war_daddy]

this shit is why I only date younger girls. they aren't mentally damaged like you