If a guy suggests a date and offers to pay for a babysitter, is that a generous offer or is he simping?

[Anonymous]

[kylee2437]

I’d accept the date but turn down his money for the sitter. It can be a nice gesture, but at the time same if I had a kid, I would want someone I know only personally watching my children with no input from a new man in my life. Just remember, a first date doesn’t say much of who a person is yet, and also things need to be presented as realistic as possible from the beginning. If you have kids, you probably won’t always be available on his time, and it’s important that he knows that from the very beginning. Set up a date that works so more on both of your time and not just his time.

[Asker]

You made some great points. If he said that "maybe we can grab coffee sometime" is he suggesting a date?

[kylee2437]

@asker id say so, but it truly depends on what he says next after you agree to go on the date. If he plans one out, then he was true to his word but if he says nothing productive after that, I’d take it as he’s keeping options open

[Asker]

Honestly, I didn't respond. I don't know if that was the best decision. I already know this guy from the past and I know he likes me. Didn't want to lead him on or anything. Do you think I still should've responded even if I wasn't interested?

[kylee2437]

You don’t owe anyone a response. If you never answer, he can take it as a rejection and move on.

[Asker]

Absolutely

[TheRealPepperPotts]

If you know him already, I think it's a sweet gesture and very thoughtful. I honestly think he is trying to be considerate of you having a toddler. He doesn't have to choose the babysitter and you don't have to accept his offer to pay (I'd suggest you don't and make other arrangements). But I think you should just take it at face value and look at it in a positive light. If he has an ulterior motive or wants to exclude your child, it will become apparent quickly.

If you aren't interested, please don't ignore him (unless he is harassing you). That's tacky and immature. Just say "Thank you. I appreciate the offer, but I don't want to move that direction with you and I want to be upfront. I wish you all the best" or something matter-of-fact. I know it's uncomfortable to turn someone down, but it's the kindest thing to do.

[HawkPerception]

I wouldn't say that's simping. He's implying he wants to spend time with you alone and is willing to pay for that to happen. I personally wouldn't do it myself though. I'd rather just go on a walk/picnic with her and her kid or chill at her place and cook something for her using some groceries I got so she can still look after her kid.

[Avicenna]

Well, we'd need to know a bit more about the guy before deciding which it is. How old is he, how much money does he have?

[DishLady]

Stop asking the same question OVER and OVER again. Seriously… don’t you have anything else to do?

[Asker]

Don't you have anything else to do? You're 48 years old

[Danny_dan92]

Depends on which way you look at it. Along with the amount of chemistry.




Most importantly if YOU are attracted to him and are demonstrating it. Cause if you are no, he isn’t simping. Simping is trying to chase a girl that clearly ain’t interested

[HighValue]

He must be pretty desperate to offer to pay for a babysitter for someone's kid who isn't his in order to get time with her. He must be low quality.

[kylee2437]

I’d say more self serving. He wants someone available on his time when dating is respect for each others time.

[Asker]

Not necessarily because he didn't give me a specific date and time. He said we should go somewhere sometime. Basically he left it in my hands when we possibly could go out. He probably offered the babysitter because he most likely knew I wouldn't be able to go out because I have a toddler so he was trying to make it easier for me.

[HighValue]

Good quality men know to avoid single mothers.

[Asker]

Not all "good quality" men avoid single moms. I see it all the time where guys who have careers and their life together settle down with single moms.

[Avicenna]

"All the time" is a huge exaggeration. It's relatively rare for men fitting that description to do that. they can get women who don't have a kid.

[Billlewis]

I think a gesture of this magnitude qualifies as both generous and simpesque behavior. A guy can fall under both categories, you know.

[Asker]

I agree. I think it's more on the simp side because it would be a first date and he asked to get coffee.

[RavVid]

He might just consider that is the price for sex.

[Asker]

It wasn't like a date date, it was more of a coffee date or ice cream date.

[RavVid]

OK. It is hard to tell without being there I think. It could be either or somewhere in between or just accepting if he wants to see you there is a cost.

[RavVid]

For myself I would assume if you wanted to meet me you would find a way.

[Asker]

I think it was a kind gesture. He knows that I have a toddler so he probably was just trying to make it easier for a date to transpire.

[RavVid]

You have your answer then and t doesn't matter what anybody else thinks.

[JonCobretti]

That sounds generous

[Asker]

Why do you think it is generous?

[JonCobretti]

You had to hire a babysitter because he invited you to a date, so it's generous of him to offer to pay for that