Why do women find older men so much more attractive?

[Anonymous]

I'm a 20 year old woman who loves men in their late 20s to early 30s. Even if its just a year or 2 I love it. I've been like this my whole life. Even back when I was in high school I always wanted the seniors and college guys. I've noticed most women feel this way. Why do women find older men so attractive?

[MrOracle]

It's because most of the things women want from a man are things that take a while to earn - knowledge, education, career, money/resources, status, security, etc. Most women, no matter how smart, well-educated, or accomplished they are want a man who is BETTER than she is in most ways - many women don't like to admit this, but if you listen to what they're looking for in a man, it's clearly true. Women want to look up to a man, to respect him, and experience and wisdom play a big part in that - and those things take time and risk to earn.

Men, on the other hand, value youth, purity, inexperience, and pretty much everything that's the opposite - because HE wants to be the first man to take you places or do things with you - to see your first waterfall, or your first Broadway show, or your first tropical vacation, or your first high-end BBQ restaurant, or your first time riding a horse, or whatever. Men know that these things are special to women, and they also know that if some other dude (s) did all those things with you first, then him doing so isn't going to be special to you.

And, traditionally, relationships have been about FAMILIES and CHILDREN, and so fertility is a huge component of male/female attraction. Women's peak fertility years are between 16-26 (and you can look that up - it's just just some random thing I pulled out of the air), so men have ALWAYS wanted younger brides because that was always the best choice for having a number of healthy children - as much as we've tried to work around that with modern medicine, it's still really the case.

[nastyb]

younger women have always favored young men in their 20-30s for baby making too. thats why vast majority of young women marry young men.

[MrOracle]

Yes, but those men are still typically 3-5 years older than the woman. And while there have always been the occasional exception, generally, women have always chosen older men. That doesn't mean 20 or 30 years older, but 3-10 years older has always been the norm.

[nastyb]

Yea because younger men tend to have healthier children.

[MrOracle]

While there IS some truth to that statement, the man's age is much less of a factor that the woman's. A surprising number of men have had children into their 70s - Tony Randall and Hugh Hefner being a couple of examples. That doesn't mean that age doesn't increase the chances of complications, because it does, but it's less of a factor for a 60 year old man than a 40 year old woman, on average.

[nastyb]

@MrOracle

Just because they can have kids, it doesn't mean the kids are normal. Dont suffer from learning disabilities or mental illnesses or have no hidden health conditions. Studies have shown that kids born to older fathers are much more likely to have mental illnesses. Just because you dont hear about this on the news, it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. No celebrity parent will announce to the world their kid has mental issues or autism

[nastyb]

It doesn't matter if its less of a factor for men than women

There is a reason why young women are more attracted to men in their 20s to 30s rather than 40s to 60s.

If you take a look at society , most men have all their kids before the age of 40.

[MrOracle]

@nastyb "Studies have shown that kids born to older fathers are much more likely to have mental illnesses"

You've exaggerated the results. The actual studies reported (correctly) that older fathers (above 50) are more likely (not MUCH more likely) to have birth complications than fathers below that age. The problems increase as men age, just as you would expect, but it never gets to 10% at any age - it's more likely that an older man is unable to father children at all.

The situation is much different with women - problems become likely at a much younger age (late 30s) and are at a higher rate.

Obviously it's best for everyone if they have their children in their 20s or early 30s - no one is arguing otherwise. That's how humans evolved, and how things have always been until the Pill and the Sexual Revolution and Feminism started changing things in the 1960s.

[nastyb]

www.google.com/.../the-perils-of-putting-off-fatherhood-why-it-poses-risks-to-childrens-physical-and-mental-health

[nastyb]

birth registry study of nearly 2 million children in Denmark found that a certain kind of childhood leukaemia increases in likelihood by 13% for every five years older the father is. The risk of brain cancer and breast cancer are also elevated in people born to older fathers.

There are also neurological effects. Children with fathers who are more than 40 at their birth are almost six times more likely to have autism than those whose fathers are less than 30, according to one study. Babies born to fathers aged over 50 face an up to fivefold increased risk of schizophrenia. Obsessive compulsive disorder, ADHD, bipolar disorder – all are more likely, research indicates, if the father is older.

[nastyb]

From the research, I dont think older men are just slightly more likely to have unhealthy children. Men in their 50s are five to six times more likely to have fucked up kids. Even if they aren't born messed up, they have higher chance of developing cancer throughout life

This explains why vast majority of young women procreate with young men. There is a big evolutionary reason for it. Kids born to younger fathers tend to be healthier not only at birth but also throughout lifr

[Anonymous]

because of the veteran warrior status

the male gender is disposable and has been for so millions of years. boys dying of legit old age was rare, many died before reaching adulthood, most in their 20s died on the battlefield. in some cultures, boys as young as 7 were fighting in wars

and humans aren't suppose to live past their 30s much less 40s. only in recent history has our lifespans been extended due to healthier medicine and lifestyle

due to these factors alone, the men who survived long enough to be able to reproduce had "something in them" they made them special

look no further than athletes like Tom Brady, LeBron James, Roger Federer etc. yes they were tremendous athletes in their prime yet still managed to hang on well past that

[TheRealPepperPotts]

I'd say it's more common with younger women, because an older guy is more experienced and better at listening and biding his time. He also tend to take more initiative in the right moment due to experience I don't mean that in a negative way, younger guys just haven't had as much experience and learned some of the nuances of dating women. Younger guys also tend to take life less seriously and mess around doing stupid things or gaming. But as women get older, I think it all evens out.

I had an age gap marriage, but now I'd be fine dating someone around my own age because of the life experience and maturity that guys my age have finally acquired.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I never did. I always liked them younger or the same age, but I have caught feelings for someone 17 years older than me and have rejected a few younger guys since then. He’s mature, sweet, attentive, caring, honest, cute and makes me feel emotionally safe and cared for.

[DishLady]

Meh. It’s not a generalization that can be made about all women. Different women want different things. The one thing that’s certain is that a woman prefers a man who knows his own mind and desires, not a boy who’s just messing around.

[AviatorTom]

An older man is generally more stable, both financially and emotionally, and may be more experienced in the art of lovemaking. Any or all of those attributes can be attractive to a woman.

[4ngelic]

pers i dont really feel that way, always prefered dudes really close in age.

as for why ig many girls like older dudes, i think it's maybe the maturity, the protection, the increased likelihood they're fr with you and not playing you, there's a little bit of a power dynamic that can be more sexy & more $$$$$.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that all women prefer older men, but plenty of them do. My last serious relationship was with a girl 35 years younger than me. When we met she was 21 and I was 56. Our relationship was fantastic.

I still laugh when I think about when I met her and she told me she was 22 instead of 21. A couple of months later she told me she was really only 21 but she was afraid that I would think she was too young if she told me the truth!

To this day that's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard.

I have a friend who's in his sixties and only dates women in their twenties. And there's no shortage of them. They like the money, they like the security, they like the experience, they like the maturity.

[Green96]

Really?
Are you married now?

[nastyb]

usually when people with that huge of an age gap, it never lasts. way too much of a gap between maturity and life experience.

[Lliam]

Girls fill out automatically during puberty. But it takes most guys a few years to built muscle, fill out, grow chest and facial hair, and look like men.

Plus older guys have more experience. They are more debonair and mentally mature. They know how to treat a lady and pay more attention to her sexual satisfaction.

[just_a_potato]

I love older men. More likely than not they treat you better. Make you feel special and cherish you like you were promised you'd be when you grew up. The only downside is a good chunk of them only want you because of how young you are rather than for the person you are, and they'd never go for you if they hadn't known your age. Yikes. 🥲

[nastyb]

truth is... even though they may treat you better, it may not necessarily mean they have good intentions. They may treat you well because they know they can get something they want from you.

[Juxtapose]

"Yikes"

Not really fair in my opinion when men are built by evolution to try and find women when they are most fertile. And how do you know that is the only reason? Don't you think men want companionship too?

You probably want a guy with a certain appearance who does certain things to make you happy but that's not all you want from someone. You want that bond and so does most anybody else who is not existing as just a ball of shallow hedonism.

[just_a_potato]

@Juxtapose Woah man, calm down. My opinion wasn't even about you...

[just_a_potato]

@nastyb yeah... I've come to find

[Juxtapose]

You see anger or exuberance where there is none. If you heard my tone of voice you would hear calmness. I speak plainly but please don't mistake it for hostility.

[just_a_potato]

@Juxtapose Alright, well in that case I apologize. I'm just going to say I don't want to be pursued by a guy who sees me for my "fertility" potential. Not only is it weird, but it's far too biological for me. Feels like l'm being used. And there's a reason I used the phrase, "a good chunk", not all.

[Juxtapose]

I approach love from a lofty, romantic view but I do acknowledge that deep down we are driven by evolutionary drives to ensure reproductive success. I am saying this as someone who does not even want kids.

Our emotions and whatnot are meant to guide our behavior because early humans were not rational enough to behave in a way that would ensure survival.

[Juxtapose]

And thanks for the apology but we're all good.

[nastyb]

@Juxtapose

Dating and romance is not only about wanting who looks better. Its also about emotional connection. Thats why most people tend to date and marry those around their own age. People of similar maturity, experience, perspective on life tend to get along better

Vast majority of large age gap relationships usually dont work out or make it to marriage.

[just_a_potato]

@Juxtapose Alright I see your point, unfortunately however a lot of men use that old scientific fact to justify some... interesting beliefs. And cool dude

[Juxtapose]

@just_a_potato what kind of beliefs? Like women are supposed to act a certain way? I think you're my equal as a human and nothing is wrong with being a woman. People who want to subjugate you are sick.

[Juxtapose]

@nastyb instinct doesn't guide people there in my opinion but rationality does. Instinct tells men to seek fertility while our emotions and reason want someone who will actually be there.

I like women older than me personally. I have seen good looking 60 year olds.

[just_a_potato]

@Juxtapose Tbh if I started going off about that, this would turn into a very very long and boring vent lol! But I appreciate that you aren't insane and see me as less than just because I have a vagina. It makes me way more willing to hear you out and debate with you, thanks. Well anyway, my main point still stands. I'll thirst over older men till the day I die. The non creepy ones, anway.

[Juxtapose]

@just_a_potato I understand but you can vent if you so choose anyway and I won't mind. You're welcome too, I don't like bigotry. I place myself in that position in my mind and I wouldn't tolerate it either.

Oh hell yeah 🤜🤛 I hope you find guys that treat you well and respect you. Life is a lot better when people treat each other well.

[just_a_potato]

@Juxtapose Won't be airing my dirty laundry here, but if you're interested in talking about topics like that, I could message you! And no worries, I like to think I have a lot of good men around my life. :)

[nastyb]

@Juxtapose

If you're a decent person with values, you would prefer marrying someone who you can connect with rather than just have a good time cumming with. Moral people marry for love, not sex

[thatshydork]

They say that men typically mature 3 years later than women. I don’t know how true that is but if it is true, maybe that plays a part in it. Also, I think when we think of someone who is older, we tend to think of people who seem to have their life together or pretty chill/cool.

[MikeTheBartender]

I am 43, the vast majority equipment I sleep with nowadays are in their mid-20s. I really don't understand it either, when I was in my early twenties I was better looking. It must be something about the maturity, I mean I definitely have more money now that helps, but overall I don't know it's just something ingrained in women. Is your dad still around? That seems to be recurring theme in a lot of the girls I date.

[Asker]

I have a great dad, super protective strong traditional type. We’re close so I’ve never related to the whole fatherless stereotype. I don’t like guys as old has him I’d find that kinda freudian but I do like a good 5-12 year gap.

[MikeTheBartender]

That's great. Nothing wrong with that. And as you get older 5-12 years is NOTHING.

[HighValue]

Because older men are from a generation with more difficult video games and are often better at them. That must be the reason. :)

That, and their faces usually look more mature and masculine. Plus they have more wisdom and know what they do and do not want in life, and therefore are more consistent with their decisions.

[DizzyDesii]

Maybe some women. I’ve always preferred same age OR a year or two younger/older. Definitely close in age. I want to grow old together. I’m not into one of us watching the other look all elderly and die off while the other is still young and aging

[RavVid]

I think most women like to feel protected by and safe with their guy. You have four years of adulthood so a guy just 2 years older than you has 50% more adult experience than you.

So I think you and other women feel a guy with a few more years will be better at protecting you.

[MK1997]

It's not just few more years. Lot of women are attracted to men much older than them.

[RavVid]

@MK1997 Oh women surely are attracted to the silver fox. As men age they get more certain of themselves and authoriative.

Would you agree it is related to feeling safe and protected or is the silver fox simply hot looking? The fox side implies cunning and clever/good judgement..

[MK1997]

Both. It depends on the woman or girl.

[RavVid]

@MK1997 It is never simple. :) Heard women say 'he's a silver fox' in an admiring way quite often.

[MK1997]

You are very creepy

[avery58]

Really? Cause all my friends and myself have only ever dated within our own age range. I don't like older men.

[Asker]

by older I mean anywhere from a year to 5. I personally don’t mind 6-12 year gaps but I know most people like closer in age. I’ve still noticed most women prefer older in their age range though. I rarely see same age or younger guy couples

[Vegasrunner]

@avery58 That's a small insignificant number of people. Most women prefer their man older because the things that make men attractive to women take longer to acquire.

[avery58]

@Vegasrunner how many women do you see with partners that are like 10+ years older than them? I see almost everyone with someone their own age when I go out

[Vegasrunner]

@avery58 I live in Las Vegas so most of the men I know keep younger chicks around including me, but that's anecdotal evidence and why did you use 10 as an arbitrary number?

[avery58]

@Vegasrunner cause that's an example of what really makes a significant age difference in a couple in my opinion

[Vegasrunner]

@avery58 So since most men I know have women 10 years younger that means that most women prefer older men?

[avery58]

@Vegasrunner well you said you're in Vegas. That's a clear difference, it's known as the "city of sin" anyway so I'd imagine there's plenty of gold diggers there. I live in suburbs so it's more of a realistic point of view in a way for most people

[avery58]

@Vegasrunner but even then, I'm not talking for other places I'm just talking about what I see and I don't think Vegas represents most of the country

[Vegasrunner]

@avery58 Yes I live in Vegas, however I have friends all around the Globe. Compared to a random suburb I have a much larger sample size than you. So by your logic that world view is more elastic than your narrow one?

[avery58]

@Vegasrunner Most men are as rich as all those guys you just named right? But sure keep crying about women preferring men their age, I also have friends all over the world. I'm done with this topic. I didn't care enough to even click on this reply till just now that I saw your other comment and was reminded that I forgot to see this

[Vegasrunner]

@avery58 Provides additional validation. To the original point. Again you're hearing what you want to hear and then pretending its something that has been said. This is a terrific example of female delusion TY for sharing this.

[Sunnysunny123]

For me it's the maturity, i always wanted someone who has their shit together (as much as tgey can) and thinks about the future and not someone who works for going to a party every weekend and spends all the money on alcohol

[Billlewis]

I just started following you, and I'd like to invite you to follow or message me as well, if you'd like. Thank you very much.

[AmyHew1tt]

They don't. That's a gross over-generalization

[Asker]

I’ve never met a girls who didn’t like old guys. Cougars or women who like younger are typically really old. What makes it gross? What’s bad about dating people a few years older?

[midnightmoon05]

Maybe you hand out with similar group?
I like 5 years up is the limit. My other friends similar.
Most I dated were within 2-3 years. Older. Not like 7,9,10 or 11,12etc…

[Asker]

@midnightmoon05 I’m more lenient so when I was saying late 20s early 30s that’s just me. I’d say most other women my age date up somewhere from a year to 3 years. I wasn’t saying everyone likes big age gaps I’m saying most women perfer older guys in general even if it’s just a few years.

[AmyHew1tt]

I've never met any girls who genuinely like older guys. Older as in 15+ years. Literally the only ones I even see on the internet who do either just want money, or have severe daddy issues.

[nastyb]

@Asker

I like older guys, not old guys. there is a huge difference between a man 8 years older versus a guy 18 years older.

[Apple1996]

I've never met a woman irl who thought this way

[Asker]

I’ve never met a woman who liked younger or sane age guys. I’ve only heard of old cougars online

[Apple1996]

I don't think of them as cougars but I see mostly same age couples or younger guy/older girl. I've seen a few gay guy couples with big age gaps tho 🤔

[Asker]

same age I get but I feel like I rarely ever see older woman/younger man couples. maybe different areas

[Apple1996]

Probably cuz in those couples men tend to look older even tho they are really younger. I know that's the case for my relationship

[Asker]

you might be bias because you’re dating a younger guy lol

[Apple1996]

Me and my husband are close in age

[Juxtapose]

I have had a girlfriend who was 14 years younger than me.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose how long did that last tho? I've never personally seen a long term relationship with a gap like that

[Juxtapose]

6 months.

[popiya7421]

Work from home and earn a respectable $60k a week, which is amazing considering that a year ago I was unemployed in a terrible economy. I always give God praise for honouring me with these rules, and now it’s my duty to practise anticipatory compassion and share it with everyone. Likewise, GOOD LUCK.

Here is I begun═════►►

[sawno]

Usually its because older men are more established / mature.

[sawno]

I also see a lot of comments on this topic of girls saying "No not me I like men close to my age", I get the feeling that these girls are thinking 10+ years of age gap. I'm sure if your 24 and you can date a 28 year old who figured himself out, developed good understanding of your needs and wants, has a nice job, own car and potentially his own place to life you'd be more likely pick him over the 20 year old whose still learning for a job and who has little dating experience.

[ManInChains]

Probably because older men tend to have more money and money is all women care about these days. They'll claim that's not true but it is

[Anonymous]

I honestly don't know why I'm attracted to older guys, but I am. Google the top 10 most attractive men in the world and look at the list. They are mostly in their 30s and 40s, and they are f'ing hot. They just are.

[paledreams]

I sometimes though wonder as I'm now 30 if such 20s women actually see us "30s men" lol as short term flings or short term relationships - lol 😂😆 sweats 😅

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

I'm not saying all, but most of them knows how to treat a lady right.

[BoopBoopBeep]

We're typically better established and less likely to want to play games.

[DrPepper12]

Maturity, resources, experience, demeanor, eclecticness,

[nastyb]

just wait till you hit 40, that's when you start eyeing younger men in their 30s.

[SotiCoto]

Because they're lazy and neotenous. They want someone with more experience to take care of them so they don't have to do things by themselves.

[shortster]

Men mature slower than women. So to find someone equally as mature as yourself you have to date someone older than you. The ideal age gap is 10-15 years.

[LiamJHayden]

Different people like different things. I have always dated older and have never had a problem finding a partner when I want one.

[BarryLiverstone]

I’ve heard that they say older men are more mature and confident.

[BarryLiverstone]

Do you find guys your age to be respectful and treating you right?

[Asker]

This might be it. Younger guys aren’t typically very respectful or good at handling relationships.

[BarryLiverstone]

I can see how at age 20 I was less experienced and made mistakes in relationships. Do you have any stories of a guy who did that with you?

[genericname85]

cause older men are the better providers. simply cause they're more established in life.

[Anonymous]

I've gone out with a few older men.

I find them to be more respectful, more stable and know what they want.

Bonus for me cause they don't want kids.

[OhLongJohnsoning]

They think we're more mature, simply because we are believed to have "more experience". I'm 35, and a virgin. So, the theory doesn't exactly "fit"

[MikeyObrien]

Comparing how I was as a boyfriend at 20 vs 24 I can understand why they do.

[samantha_17777]

They are mature , caring , responsible and they know how to treat us... thats why

[Emanon25]

They’re more mature and they know how to be respectful to women

[JamesRandiDebates]

Because older men typically are more financially secure and have more disposable income. And we all know bitches love money.

[Anonymous]

The illusion that you think they got it all figured out. When the reality is they just a decade older with better, more refined, bull💩.😆

[In_Trance]

Pretty sure you can answer this question yourself seeing how you're one of them

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I guess because women like to feel younger in the relationship by a few years.

[Twalli]

They're more established and supposedly better situated in life to support a fsmily.

[war_daddy]

it's evolution. older guys have resources and can keep a baby alive

[Anonymous]

Money and power

Both getting less common at that age now

[Anonymous]

I don't think they do, but I guess it depends on the man. Most girls don't like me, and I'm not young any more.

[Account]

I dont. Never did.

[midnightmoon05]

Som might. I don’t.

[Unit1]

Money

[Danny_dan92]

Maturity + experience

[Iron_Man]

I think all women like older men

[Staximus]

Late 20's is not that much older for you

[AustColombiangirl]

Older men are so much better

[Dongie]

Wow that's so old and kind.

[msc545]

Older men usually have more money.

[RedInnocent69]

Money, power, stability.

[0laqv]

I almost exclusively date younger guys

[Anonymous]

Golden diggers

[Anonymous]

Maybe because they re stupid

[scott04sa22]

Mmmm nice

[rebeliouse]

status?

[Anonymous]

Wise