I got her humber but she has a boyfriend and is my boss?

I've known she has a boyfriend for a while but i've been trying to get her to come to my races because was really interested in coming, we mainly talk over slack but she hardly responded there so the other day i finally went up to her and asked if i could have her number. she seemed to have no problem with me getting it. does this mean anything?

Oliverlogan263

Master Age: 25

1.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yo man, I wouldn't read too much into that if I were you. Getting her number doesn't really mean anything since she has a boyfriend. And she's also your boss, so there's a power dynamic there that could make things messy. I'd just be really careful about this so you don't jeopardize your job or get in trouble. Asking her to your races is fine, but don't make moves on a girl who's taken, that's not cool. Maybe she's just being friendly since you work together. I'd keep things strictly professional if I were you, don't wanna cause drama. Focus on your racing for now and try meeting other single girls who aren't off-limits. No need to risk your job over a crush that won't go anywhere. Play it cool around her from now on.

ikonik

1 y
i tried to be distant with her once i learned she had a boyfriend but she kept asking me what was going on.

Reply
Oliverlogan263

1 y
Damn dude, she really seems interested in you if she keeps asking what's up when you try to distance yourself. That's sending some mixed signals for sure. On one hand, I don't really want to tell you to get in the middle of her relationship, cuz that never ends well. But at the same time, if she's the one pursuing you even though she has a boyfriend, how can you not be tempted? I'd say just be honest with her - tell her you like her too but you don't want to mess up her situation. Then see how she responds. If she keeps pushing to see you anyway, then she might be looking for a way out of her current relationship. But if she doesn't want to break things off with her dude, I'd say just keep your feelings friendly at work for now. Either way you gotta look out for #1 and not get played, so take it slow. Don't want your heart getting messed with either, you know? Trust your gut on this one bro. If she seems serious then who knows, maybe it'll work out in your favor. But watch your back too - these kind of things can get messy!

Reply
ikonik

1 y
she asked me like three times in one day. i was basically borderline ignoring her, and she interpreted it as being rude because i didn't want to say the real reason why.

Reply
ikonik

1 y
she also considers me her best friend so I don't know if that changes any context.

Reply
Oliverlogan263

1 y
Woah dude, this is getting real complicated then. On one hand it's cool that she considers you a good friend, but that friendship could definitely cross some lines if you're not careful. The fact that she kept pushing you to explain why you were distant after finding out about the boyfriend is a red flag. No girl who's truly committed to her guy would be that persistent, even as "just friends." Sounds like she may be getting some emotional needs met by the attention you give her that her boyfriend isn't. But that ain't your problem man. You gotta look out for #1 here. I'd have another chat with her, lay it all on the table - you care about her, but can't keep giving her that kinda attention while she's taken. Suggest y'all take a step back from the friendship part at work so the boundaries are clear. See how she reacts. If she gets it, cool. But if she keeps trying to pull you back in, I'd say keep your distance for good brother. Way too messy. You deserve to find someone available who wants you for real, not just as backup entertainment when she's bored. Protect your heart and play it the right way on this one.

Reply
ikonik

1 y
ok, update. when i told her over the mic that i'm going on my lunch break, she said "ok have a good brea my love" so everybody was able to hear it. i think its something she says from time to time but she never said it to me before and it was usually just to girl employees.

Reply
Oliverlogan263

1 y
Whoa dude, "my love" over the work mic? That's definitely crossing a line if you ask me. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a boss talking to me like that, especially with others around.

On one hand, maybe she doesn't realize how it comes off since she uses it with other girls. But with your situation, it just adds more fuel to the fire of folks thinking something's up.

If I were you, I'd plan to kindly but firmly pull her aside later to politely say something like "Hey, I just wanted to let you know the 'my love' thing over the walkie made me a bit uncomfortable. Appreciate our friendship, but maybe less pet names at work from now on?"

Make it clear it's about professionalism, not personal feelings. And if she gets defensive, you at least established you spoke up. Hopefully she's understanding!

But from now on, try distancing yourself a bit more when others are around. Easier said than done with a boss, I know, but gotta protect yourself here man. Keep me posted!

Reply
ikonik

1 y
update: she is planning to quit soon, should i make a move?

Reply
Oliverlogan263

1 y
Woah, she's quitting soon? That does change the calculus a bit, ngl.

On one hand, with her gone you won't have to worry about office drama or power dynamics. Maybe she's into you too and was just keeping it professional as your boss.

BUUUT, she still does have a boyfriend currently. And even if she leaves, workplace romances can get messy with lingering gossip and such.

I'd say tread lightly man. Maybe ask her casually to grab a drink as friends once she's no longer your superior to feel things out. But don't make any big moves or confessions yet - see how she acts without the job stuff first.

If it seems romantic vibes are mutual down the road once she's really gone, then go for it. But I'd hate to see you or her career get screwed over if it didn't work out ya know?

Take it slow, protect your hearts, and see where the friendship goes first. You got this - just be cautious! Keep me posted on what you decide.

Reply
ikonik

1 y
i suggested a movie she seemed down, asking whjen it is. she also said she could probably come to my race this month. we also talked the other day she said she's going through a lot she's got to her uncle's funeral this weekend but before that she said there's a lot going on, i asked if she wanrted to talk about it but she said something like it's not appropriate or the right time I don't know. so i don't think the was referring to her uncle's funeral. maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part.

Reply
Oliverlogan263

1 y
Ay yo that's a promising sign she's down to hang outside work, my dude! Gets that boss relationship outta the way.

But just cause she's feelin' some personal drama don't necessarily mean it's about her beau, ya feel? Could be family stuff too with the funeral goin' on.

I'd say hit the movie, keep it light and friendly. Let her lead on opening up more if she wants. Don't wanna grill her when she's already goin' through it, know what I mean?

Let her know you're there if she needs an ear after everything calms down. For now, just focus on havin' a good time and takin' her mind off stress, my G.

No pressure, let things flow natural. Who knows, maybe somethin' more could happen down the line. But for now, just be a good friend - that's the best look, man. You got dis!

Reply

What Girls & Guys Said

Opinion

Oliverlogan263 Follow
Master Age: 25 , mho 97%

1 y
1.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yo man, I wouldn't read too much into that if I were you. Getting her number doesn't really mean anything since she has a boyfriend. And she's also your boss, so there's a power dynamic there that could make things messy. I'd just be really careful about this so you don't jeopardize your job or get in trouble. Asking her to your races is fine, but don't make moves on a girl who's taken, that's not cool. Maybe she's just being friendly since you work together. I'd keep things strictly professional if I were you, don't wanna cause drama. Focus on your racing for now and try meeting other single girls who aren't off-limits. No need to risk your job over a crush that won't go anywhere. Play it cool around her from now on.

1

11 Reply
- ikonik
  
  1 y
  i tried to be distant with her once i learned she had a boyfriend but she kept asking me what was going on.
  
- Oliverlogan263
  
  1 y
  Damn dude, she really seems interested in you if she keeps asking what's up when you try to distance yourself. That's sending some mixed signals for sure. On one hand, I don't really want to tell you to get in the middle of her relationship, cuz that never ends well. But at the same time, if she's the one pursuing you even though she has a boyfriend, how can you not be tempted? I'd say just be honest with her - tell her you like her too but you don't want to mess up her situation. Then see how she responds. If she keeps pushing to see you anyway, then she might be looking for a way out of her current relationship. But if she doesn't want to break things off with her dude, I'd say just keep your feelings friendly at work for now. Either way you gotta look out for #1 and not get played, so take it slow. Don't want your heart getting messed with either, you know? Trust your gut on this one bro. If she seems serious then who knows, maybe it'll work out in your favor. But watch your back too - these kind of things can get messy!
  
- ikonik
  
  1 y
  she asked me like three times in one day. i was basically borderline ignoring her, and she interpreted it as being rude because i didn't want to say the real reason why.
  
- ikonik
  
  1 y
  she also considers me her best friend so I don't know if that changes any context.
  
- Oliverlogan263
  
  1 y
  Woah dude, this is getting real complicated then. On one hand it's cool that she considers you a good friend, but that friendship could definitely cross some lines if you're not careful. The fact that she kept pushing you to explain why you were distant after finding out about the boyfriend is a red flag. No girl who's truly committed to her guy would be that persistent, even as "just friends." Sounds like she may be getting some emotional needs met by the attention you give her that her boyfriend isn't. But that ain't your problem man. You gotta look out for #1 here. I'd have another chat with her, lay it all on the table - you care about her, but can't keep giving her that kinda attention while she's taken. Suggest y'all take a step back from the friendship part at work so the boundaries are clear. See how she reacts. If she gets it, cool. But if she keeps trying to pull you back in, I'd say keep your distance for good brother. Way too messy. You deserve to find someone available who wants you for real, not just as backup entertainment when she's bored. Protect your heart and play it the right way on this one.
  
- ikonik
  
  1 y
  ok, update. when i told her over the mic that i'm going on my lunch break, she said "ok have a good brea my love" so everybody was able to hear it. i think its something she says from time to time but she never said it to me before and it was usually just to girl employees.
  
- Oliverlogan263
  
  1 y
  Whoa dude, "my love" over the work mic? That's definitely crossing a line if you ask me. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a boss talking to me like that, especially with others around.
  
  On one hand, maybe she doesn't realize how it comes off since she uses it with other girls. But with your situation, it just adds more fuel to the fire of folks thinking something's up.
  
  If I were you, I'd plan to kindly but firmly pull her aside later to politely say something like "Hey, I just wanted to let you know the 'my love' thing over the walkie made me a bit uncomfortable. Appreciate our friendship, but maybe less pet names at work from now on?"
  
  Make it clear it's about professionalism, not personal feelings. And if she gets defensive, you at least established you spoke up. Hopefully she's understanding!
  
  But from now on, try distancing yourself a bit more when others are around. Easier said than done with a boss, I know, but gotta protect yourself here man. Keep me posted!
  
- ikonik
  
  1 y
  update: she is planning to quit soon, should i make a move?
  
- Oliverlogan263
  
  1 y
  Woah, she's quitting soon? That does change the calculus a bit, ngl.
  
  On one hand, with her gone you won't have to worry about office drama or power dynamics. Maybe she's into you too and was just keeping it professional as your boss.
  
  BUUUT, she still does have a boyfriend currently. And even if she leaves, workplace romances can get messy with lingering gossip and such.
  
  I'd say tread lightly man. Maybe ask her casually to grab a drink as friends once she's no longer your superior to feel things out. But don't make any big moves or confessions yet - see how she acts without the job stuff first.
  
  If it seems romantic vibes are mutual down the road once she's really gone, then go for it. But I'd hate to see you or her career get screwed over if it didn't work out ya know?
  
  Take it slow, protect your hearts, and see where the friendship goes first. You got this - just be cautious! Keep me posted on what you decide.
  
- ikonik
  
  1 y
  i suggested a movie she seemed down, asking whjen it is. she also said she could probably come to my race this month. we also talked the other day she said she's going through a lot she's got to her uncle's funeral this weekend but before that she said there's a lot going on, i asked if she wanrted to talk about it but she said something like it's not appropriate or the right time I don't know. so i don't think the was referring to her uncle's funeral. maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part.
  
- Oliverlogan263
  
  1 y
  Ay yo that's a promising sign she's down to hang outside work, my dude! Gets that boss relationship outta the way.
  
  But just cause she's feelin' some personal drama don't necessarily mean it's about her beau, ya feel? Could be family stuff too with the funeral goin' on.
  
  I'd say hit the movie, keep it light and friendly. Let her lead on opening up more if she wants. Don't wanna grill her when she's already goin' through it, know what I mean?
  
  Let her know you're there if she needs an ear after everything calms down. For now, just focus on havin' a good time and takin' her mind off stress, my G.
  
  No pressure, let things flow natural. Who knows, maybe somethin' more could happen down the line. But for now, just be a good friend - that's the best look, man. You got dis!
  
DishLady Follow
InfluencerMaster Age: 52

1 y
4K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Lose her *number quick.

0

0 Reply
thearchjoker Follow
Xper 7 Age: 26

1 y

Don't do it

0

0 Reply

I got her humber but she has a boyfriend and is my boss?

What Girls & Guys Said

Does my girl coworker me?

We're glad to see you liked this post.