Is the bar different for average men and average women when it comes to dating?

[Anonymous]

So a girl broke up with me caused she was wanted to be a “boss bitch” in her words I treated this girl great and even took physical and verbal abuse to try to make it work I never once called her a name back or struck her. So I’m average looking and she was average looking and I was deemed not enough and she decided to breakup the picture above is just one of many showing how she lived and why I’m so confused on what the bar is

[Oncewildtwiceburned]

Yes. The average woman can get thousands of serious inquiries from suitors or booty calls in a week or a month, yeah most of them are online, but still the ego boost and choices are overwhelming to a woman in her twenties who simply isn’t overweight with an average face.

I remember when I could get almost the same attention lol. I had good hair it was 2008. I was young too, not in particular good shape just fit. Now I look like I’m getting ready for a physique contest but alopecia has hit me lol. In person I could do a lot better as could all of us guys in our late 20s to 30s. We are no match online competing with younger taller guys who know how to make a good profile or rich guys on instagram who know how to flaunt their wealth there. I’m barely over 6 foot and have property but not 6 figures a year so I’m nothing special online anymore. One little thing like hair for instance will exclude us from their filter before they even see a message or profile.

I mean sure, I excluded white girls. I grew up with only white girls in my school and just kinda didn’t want to date them. So I’m guilty of excluding a huge segment of the population myself just because of my specific tastes so thats fair. Its their life but we all know its getting ridiculous these days, hell my standards were ridiculous looking back as well.

here's the thing by the time I realized I was being too choosy I can still start a family and as long as I eat right I still look good (hair aside). Women have a smaller fertility window and also retain custody if they do have kids which ruins their appeal to high value men as well.

We are different don’t blame me, I didn’t make us.

[Anonymous]

She did you a favor man. Any woman that uses the term "boss bitch" is for the streets.

[Asker]

Yeah my brain wasn’t fully processing that you want to break up to become a “boss bitch” so the thing is i put up with a lot so the image above was how she routinely lived I had to clean that up. As i highlighted in the post below she was also physically and verbally abusive.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I caught that. It figured into my response. She didn't really value you. That may or may not change. But either way I would NOT take her back. Not without some serious attitude adjustment. And wooing on HER part.

[Asker]

So am I just that low value

[Opinion Owner]

F*** no! Don't even think that.

[Opinion Owner]

Ya just have to laugh it off man. I know you don't feel like laughing at the moment but that because you're feeling reje Ted an minimalized. That is NOT reality. She may have rejected you. But that was her problem. Don't let it be yours.

[Opinion Owner]

Like I said, "she did you a favor".

[Asker]

Well the thing is I feel this way because for all she was I was still seen as below her

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, she convinced you that you are. And now you're believing it. I'm telling you that's a mindf*** man. I spent too many years. Believing this same type of nonsense. Trust me when I tell you that there are a lot of women Far better than her that would know your true value and treat you better. It's only a matter of recognizing them.

[WhitneySnow]

Guess she wasn’t satisfied with the relationship. You can’t generalize about all men and women based on one relationship. Plus average looking is subjective.

[Asker]

She wasn’t happy I wasn’t letting her abuse me how many men would put up with physical abuse verbal abuse and coming home to their apartment above cause that’s how she kept the room

[WhitneySnow]

Most wouldn’t. Why didn’t you dump her? Why did you wait till she dumped you?

[Asker]

Because I told her I wasn’t going to let her trauma define her she told me her story and as messed up as it was I would think what kind of person would I be if I hold this against her. She actually hit me two weeks into the relationship and broke down crying saying she doesn’t understand how that happened and said it would never happened again so I forgave her and we moved on but the abuse would continue.

[WhitneySnow]

I understand. She still had no right to abuse you. At least the relationship is over.

[Asker]

Well the end of the relationship was insulting because not only did she abuse me both physically and verbally she played victim and everyone took her side so she was effectively able to turn everyone against me. So not only did I exit the relationship with her making me out to be below her but everyone hating me too

[WhitneySnow]

That really sucks. At least you’re rid of her.

[Asker]

Mental health has gone to complete shit now cause I don’t know what I can get anymore

[WhitneySnow]

I see. Good luck. I hope you find someone decent.

[Asker]

So average looking is subjective

[WhitneySnow]

Yes.

[Asker]

Yeah after this relationship I have been trying to assess where I stand because if average is rejecting average

[WhitneySnow]

One average girl rejected you. And you should have dumped her a long time ago. Doesn’t mean all girls will reject you.

[Asker]

Well now apperance wise I feel gross and hideous and that I can’t get another girl

[WhitneySnow]

That’s not true

[Anonymous]

Boss bitch?
Sounds like she deserves the street. And how she lived look so messy and dirty, has low class.

[Nikki1989]

The bar according to whom?