Why I’m trash and worthless?

Question

I’m not good enough and trash. I never had a boyfriend in my life and it means I’m trash. Worthless. Men don’t desire me, being nice loving supportive , hardworking , Romantic, loyal that wants cook daily for a man, have babies , fmaily oriented , it mean nothing to men. If I were to have a boyfriend I wouldn’t be trash. No one cares about me. No one sees me as a special woman that they love with all their heart. I don’t deserve marriage or a boyfriend or love. I don’t deserve be happy. men must see me as trash. No one values me & wants be with me daily 24/7 . 😓

dragoblack · Accepted Answer

I have never had a girlfriend either and I'm 32. Part of it is toxic society, the other part is horrid luck with romance, and lack of being properly informed of romance stuff in my youth for proper healthy understanding, but was always fed vague and stereotypical crap.
Then the social abuse when asking about certain romance topics and during my struggling with emotional turmoil of constantly feeling ostracized in romance since I'm not found attractive. (Because when you say "why can't i find love", people are quick to assume you're an incel that objectifies women and only wants sex... I'm demi-sexual, i literally don't work that way and i don't want a toxic relationship built on sex)
But for reals, women don't approach me unless they want something from me and not see me as a person or they are severely drunk, which... no, just no.
Also, everyone I'm interested in, tells me "sorry, I'm not into men", "I'm not single/i have a boyfriend", "sorry, i don't see you that way", " i see you like a brother", "eww/haha, no", "i may look in my 20s, but I'm 17", "*ghosts*", walks away mid-conversation about a common interest, "don't talk to me", "ugh, who are you?", "you don't seem very mature", "I'm just not interested", "I'm ace", "I'm not looking to date", "*insert innacurate assumption about me*"... seriously, is has been a constant for me my entire life. In school from kindergarten through highschool graduation every Valentine's day i got nothing from anyone except a pitty card from a teacher (which honestly, just made it worse). Almost every year in elementary i would be left crying, by jr high i was emotionally dead, by highschool i completely closed myself off and skipped school on my harder days, where i couldn't keep my emotions bottled up, i would go to graveyards and sit where it felt comfortable to cry and vent, where it felt like someone would listen and care.
So i feel you, because no matter what i do to improve myself & my appearance, be myself, along with keeping my moral compass to not be a dick and be kind & respectful; i have always been unwanted romantically.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

It doesn’t mean you’re worthless because someone isn’t desiring you you shouldn’t be forced on the entire opposite sex anyways it should be focused on finding the person whose right for you, like your soulmate.

Having someone else or not having someone else doesn’t make you trash and most people in “trad” relationships have no idea what they’re doing and they almost never end well.

Not that you would ever do this but many women just want a free ride and don’t know how much work it takes being a stay at home mom/housewife as well as how hard women worked back in the day.

natured · Accepted Answer

Looks like you're having a little mental breakdown and hence are typing this and I'm sure you even cried while typing this, and I've been there as well, so I feel your pain,
But let me tell you this, ONCE YOU LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF, you will not need validation from others, i'd rather live alone and be happy on my own than live for others.
Keep those qualities, but don't force yourself into anything that is not suitable for you.
You are in a risk to jump in a relationship quickly no matter who... don't do it, don't be stupid like me. It Ruined my life
Now at 35 year I realized what I have done to myself...

Please be careful and cheer up

PeachyPie93 · Accepted Answer

Stop sleeping with men who won't commit to you. Stop being needy and clingy. It turns people off. Work on loving yourself so you stop behaving in a desperate manner and then men will become drawn to you. You need to learn to be confident in yourself and only then will you become attractive to others.

V_Injector · Answer

Stop. Are you fat? Hit the gym if that's your problem. I solved your problem if that was it but I'm biting my cheek because big fat chicks that walk into a bar and fart can pull a man.

I've been taking notes the last few days about what men don't like in women... Dominates, aggressive, combative, disagreeable, fat/bigger (think I already covered this one), masculine.

Will call you dude and bro in the same sentence unironically. Interprets transparency and loyalty as "controlling." Has Disney Princess Syndrome.

That's as far as my notes are going so far. Go through my notes and pick out what's fucking you up in this department.

Don't be a complete stereotype though and react like one of the qualities I just listed.

It's okay to be a woman. ... You don't have to be a man-beast of a woman who is probably better off trying to attract women.

Anonymous · Answer

I get where you're coming from. The other guys think I am a joke because I rarely have a girlfriend, and I don't talk about women much.

I'm a guy - I don't get compliments very often (ok, maybe with my job). I couldn't tell you the last time any women flirted with me (that wasn't meant as a joke at my expense). I could tell you it's been years. I could probably say decades without lying.

Add chronic pain, and brain issues, in addition to severe depression and anxiety (whether that's from abuse and bullying or a result of something genetic, I don't know). Add that to dating issues... and things are SO fun right now.

So I get it.

9in_Serpent · Answer

Sweetheart you have to stop believing these stories or narratives that society tells you… we live in an extremely toxic culture and society and world today! All this capitalism and consumerism and individualism is tearing us all apart. We are all enslaved and busy trying to survive that we have little time to make connections with other people. I am sure you are a wonderful person worth being with and getting to know and love just like every other human being in this world! ❤️❤️❤️ There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and everything wrong with this crazy world we live in.

BetaBucks · Answer

So you think unattractive people are all trash, or just that, and only you, are trash for being unattractive? If the former, you have a dogshit outlook on the world. If the latter, it's probably best you get some therapy and work on improving yourself.

RavVid · Answer

I know from prior questions you very much want a long term loving relationship and most people do.

The emotions you are venting here are counter productive to your desire and I think you do need to value yourself more than you are. So I would counsel you to build up from these negative thoughts with a more positive self image.

That is easy for me to say I know but it is what you need to do.

Truthatanycost · Answer

You are speaking death, try speaking life. Eventually our words manifest physically. No matter what situation I am in, I only speak the desired income. Words are the most powerful thing we have in the world...

elizamichale1 · Answer

Wowww honeyyy u need to calm down n relax... men love gurls like u... trust me there r not many like u among us anymore so please hold urself together n be confident of wht u r n see men queuing up for u

DJB72 · Answer

All what you're saying tells me is you're looking in the wrong places.

Move out. Get your own place. You can find a decent guy, but maybe not in the city. Find a country boy who'd shoot a Democrat as soon as look at them.

Anonymous · Answer

Even if it's true that you're undatable (which I highly doubt given you haven't given me evidence or valid reasoning to think you are) that wouldn't make you trash, it would just mean dating isn't for you. Maybe try some self improvement, and also find a source for meaning and purpose besides dating and maybe expand your circle of friends, get a pet, or hang out with family more for emotional support. Best of luck to you.

Dongie · Answer

You know what? It you cut out all of the negative remarks about yourself it will change.
The power to influence lie in the tongue. Try speaking positive remarks. I don't care if you can believe them or not, just do it.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Don't put yourself down like this.

DannyUk2017 · Answer

Don't worry, you're not Alone in this situation... is just the society that "paves" the way...

Cheerfull009 · Answer

According to your qualities, you have mentioned, your are my ideal , as you have mentioned about your physical appearance, so may be you are not attractive physically, are your approach to men is not proper

LiamJHayden · Answer

Not having a bunch of F-Boys who want to slam and jam in no way makes you worthless.

Staximus · Answer

It's your poor outlook on life and your poor opinion of yourself that is the problem

Juxtapose · Answer

You obsess over this too much and need to see a therapist.

noohair · Answer

Every human has value. I do not define myself by being with any other person.

theshyguy56 · Answer

You know what that's the dilemma of western society the women are oppressed and are objectified only for sex not recognised as home makers

ehatsham_hussain · Answer

I think you are worrying unnecessary

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Is this some kind of sarcasm?

Ironco · Answer

Everyday, it's the same thing with you...

OddBeMe · Answer

You’re not trash. Just depressed.

Maybeyoutoo · Answer

Do you believe in God?

EnjoytheDay777 · Answer

Be kinder to yourself. They suck

eagle1951 · Answer

i don't believe this

Anonymous · Answer

Focus on what you can control.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

You're not trash

Why I’m trash and worthless?

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Why am I so worthless?

Why I’m trash and worthless?

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