Guys, Is it okay for me to message him?

[Anonymous]

We only dated for a month but he ended the relationship because apparently my texting habits were a problem for him (he said I texted to much when he texted at the same frequency). We got into a huge argument after he broke up with me. Now, we are not dating but are back to being facebook friends and still talking once in a while. He even commented on my facebook profile picture and told me that I looked “fabulous” so I know we’re cool now.

On our first date, we met at a restaurant in Queens (we live in NY, he lives in Queens, I live in Suffolk County, Long Island), and he had to guide me on how to park in this city (because I can’t parallel park for shit lol). I saw a video on YouTube today with clips of bad parallel parking and it reminded me of that night. So I’m telling my friend about the incident, she tells me “you should send that to him and ask him does this remind you of my terrible parking?” as a joke.

I’m not sure that’s a good idea. We broke up over a joke I previously texted him (and the whole over texting thing also) so while I’m always the first one to make fun of my own shortcomings, I’m kind of afraid of his reaction. Like we just got back to being friends. Yes I did think of that, but I’m also afraid he’s going to associate it with our first date and then take it up that I’m trying to get him to date me again.

My friend thinks I need to be in a relationship so I have a feeling she wants us back dating again (and I do miss him), but I think if he really wanted me back he would’ve reached out. We comment on each other’s posts sometimes but I think that’s all it’s going to be at this point.

men, what do you think? Is my friend right in saying I should reach out or am I right saying I shouldn’t reach out.

Updates

1 y

So I did end up contacting him again (with careful consideration and caution of course), and we are back to talking every day! He laughed at the video and we’re seeing how things go. I was very nervous to do it because I was scared of his reaction, but it worked. Thanks for the advice guys

[Oliverlogan263]

Eh I don't know man, that seems like kind of a risky move to me. I get why your friend wants you guys to get back together since you obviously liked each other, but that dude did break up with you over texting stuff already.

My concern would be that by sending that joke video, he might take it the wrong way and think you're coming on too strong or trying to rekindle something when he's not ready. And then it could make things weird between you again and ruin the friends vibe you've got going now.

I'd say it's probably best to leave it be for now if things are going smoothly as friends. Let more time pass so he definitely sees you as just a friend before you start joking about old date memories, ya know? Maybe down the road if you're closer friends it would be safer to bring up.

For now I'd just focus on keeping things chill and see how it goes from there. No need to rush anything and risk messing up a good thing. Your friend probably means well but don't wanna force it if he's not feeling it yet. Play it cool - better to keep an open door as friends than risk closing it again. Just my two cents!

[Asker]

Yeah that’s kinda what I was thinking too

[Oliverlogan263]

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders when it comes to this situation. It's always tough dealing with an ex, especially when there's still feelings involved. But taking things slow and just focusing on being friends for now is probably the wise move here. No need to rush anything or risk freaking him out. Who knows, maybe down the road things could develop again naturally if the timing is right. But for now just concentrate on you and don't put too much pressure on the relationship. Your friend means well, but you know best what vibes you're getting from this guy. Hanging back and playing it cool seems like the way to go. And hey, if it's not meant to be, at least you'll have your friend back without any awkwardness. You'll be alright - just do you!

[EnjoytheDay777]

Nah, I wouldn't bother. Doesn't sound too promising.

[EnjoytheDay777]

Ty for the mho.