Why do men think they need to have it all together before they find a woman?

[Anonymous]

You’re going to find women yes, and a lot of women are going to throw themselves at you and even want to marry you. But many of these women aren’t quality women. Many are narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, dark empaths, and the list goes on.

These are women who want to suck off of you, they will blow all your money, and as soon as someone better comes along they will leave your ass in a instance high and dry. All you did was waste your time, money, and resources on her. Because there was no genuine love, connection, companionship.

The women you find when you’re at your lowest are the keepers. Those are the nurtures, those are the ones who are going to light the passions inside of you up, those are the women who make the best wives and moms. The unfortunate thing is some of these women get stuck witn the wrong men. It’s just like how many men think they can save a woman from herself, who really wants to be enabled so she uses his good nature…. So these women run into that too where they want to fix and change someone.

Users DO NOT want someone like themselves as a partner. They want someone to fulfill their life in the areas they are lacking and will give little to nothing in return. It’s a dead end men and avoid these women.

There is plenty of bad types of men out there too before someone jumps on me. But that’s for another question. If someone only loves you for what you can provide there is no genuine connection. They will cheat on you and eventually leave you and if this person can take everything from you.

These people have no remorse they either feel indifferent at best or at worst get off on your pain and suffering.

[ProbablyClueless]

I don't think people feel like you need to have every "t" crossed and "i" dotted, but it's a lot easier to be confident when you can actually answer someone's questions instead of giving vague, lame non-answers. Confidence is attractive and opens up your possibilities with more desirable women.

I'd feel little bit foolish if I could never tell women what I do for a living. Not because I haven't always lived a life I find interesting, but because I like having a distinct and clear answer. "What do you do?" "I'm a lawyer." Provides an easier route to more conversation than saying that I'm a cashier at Best Buy, or whatever (not that there's anything wrong with being a cashier).

[Anonymous]

Because guys listen to the internet too much. These types of women you see on the internet are generally the worst ones. I've said this before that guys are getting a skewed view of women want because they're talking to women who have a very twisted view of what a quality relationship is. Any good woman knows the only thing she needs to find is a man with character and if he's a good match, everything thing else will fall into place.

[Asker]

You’re right and you may attract a ass load of women….. but people forget quality over quantity. It’s like a woman can have a pretty face and attract a ass load of men too. Not all of them are good

[Opinion Owner]

Agreed this is where I criticize men today. Too many men define thier value by the amount of women they attract. A man should never define himself by a woman. Don't misunderstand I'm not minimalizing women, far from it. But as I've said before, "a man just IS". A man doesn't need to ask if he's a man. If more guys would stand firm, stoically and only accept good behavior a lot of these women problems would right themselves. I've said a hundred times a woman cannot take anything from a man he does not willingly surrender.

[Anonymous]

I see what you mean and honestly I can't judge your point of view, but the thing is, people are always in such a rush to do all these things and they do not SEE how toxic the other person is, and this goes for both MEN and WOMEN.
i've been there, done that, I was a nurturing type, while he was a BUM and used me... wasted a lot of time and energy and now i'm solo dolo wondering what I did wrong with my life...

[Asker]

See anonymous and that’s the problem that happens. A good woman such as yourself finds a man who you love, maybe he was great at first but it wasn’t until later.

It can ruin many good hearts and turn people into the monster that hurt them. At least you didn’t let that happen. Some people just start thinking they need to use someone before they use them. They literally become the monster.

Happens to men too where a woman is damsel in distress all the time….. She doesn’t want helped she wants enabled. That’s the difference sometimes

[Asker]

Many people don’t see it sometimes when the relationship starts off great. But at the same time if a relationship starts one sided it will never get any better

[Opinion Owner]

I agree with you totally, it sometimes stings, even though 2 years passed sometimes i get flashbacks of how much I emotionally and spititually invested in that relationship. BUT HEY, lesson learned, I will still be humble about life, ain't no way that bum will make me a bad person or loose faith in humanity

[Asker]

Opinion Owner this is pretty normal even a decade later. You may be happy either single or in a new relationship, but you still may look back on the investments made especially if your entire life pretty much revolved around one personn

[Asker]

You’re right he shouldn’t ruin your view of humanity it’s just some people get so disgruntled that they just turn into a monster themselves. But I’m glad you didn’t n

You have a good heart and there is someone out there deserving of your love, investment, nurturing, patience, and the list goes on as well as that guy will invest the same back into you. One sided relationships suck….

[Anonymous]

Typical incel crap being spewed once again. Repeating yourself ad nauseam doesn't make any of this make any more sense, but logic is not a priority with trolls like you.

[Asker]

How am I a incel? I literally just said it will attract the wrong kind of women. Unless you’re that kind of woman you shouldn’t be offended.

A incel is someone who thinks all women are this way which they aren’t there are women seeking a genuine connection there are also men seeking that. Sometimes it may be hard to find it if either sex because people are used to using and being used

[Lliam]

😭😭😭
They don't. Nobody has it all together. You are just looking for women who don't exist. Your idea of "quality" is a fantasy. And you wouldn't qualify for such a woman, anyway.

[Juxtapose]

"And you wouldn't qualify for such a woman, anyway."

Excuse me but who are you to say who he can or cannot date? That's just fucking rude man.

[Lliam]

It did sound rude. My apologies. I meant the unattainable, ideolized version of a Disney princess that I envision when guys talk about "quality" women. I don't think that people who have on-line-inspired fantasies of "quality" men and women live in reality. It's the same when talking about "alpha" men.
It's good to look in the mirror at our own flaws.
There are good men and women. But everyone is human.
And I agree that there are users, too.

[Juxtapose]

Fair enough, although in my experience a lot of people are not very considerate or deep. A quality woman for me would be a woman who can be present and can actually remember little details of what I like because she cares enough to. Most people can't even do that.

[Anonymous]

maybe because solving all your basic necessities is more important than romance?

why pay for dates when you can't even put food on the table, pay for your own bills or own your own car?

[Asker]

Well if a woman’s contributing something to a relationship. Also, if someone’s only marrying for money/what you can provide. If something happens to you and you’re not able to provide anymore that woman’s gone and will not stand by you. Because it’s not about love

[Asker]

Now, I’m not saying anyone wants to marry a bum. But many women who are entitled are bums they want what benefits them out of a traditional relationship.

But cleaning? Cooking. Ewwww…… you get off work and paint the fence. Remodel the house. Feed the dogs. Mow the lawn. Pick the kids up from school/daycare. All while she spends your money all day. That’s what these narcissists think it’s supppsed to be and doofuses are fine with it.

Until she cheats all the time and eventually finds better

[Asker]

It’s weird though because these women. Guess who they sleep with? Mostly bums. The 21 year old neighbor who has no real job but mows the lawn and cleans the pool is fucking your wife while you’re out working 70 hours a week

[Opinion Owner]

you're proving why modern marriage is a scam regardless of whether he/she is in the workforce or not. it's different rules for different guys. the only true winners are the ideal guys they look for which would not be the average guy.

[Juxtapose]

A good woman is not going to be a money-grubbing bitch.