Girls, Would you date a man with kids?

[razelove]

It's a pretty straight forward one. I see a lot of questions that are subtle jabs at other people's preferences. I'm just curious as to where women actually fall out on this one as opposed to men, and the perception of men.

Yes

No

Updates

1 y

Thank you everyone, I very much appreciate the input! MHO was just selected from both sides as it's a yes/no question.

[sage2021]

Definitely YES! I had a 3 year old son and I started dating a guy who lived right across the street from me the had two boys, 5 & 7.
We went to a lot of places and had a lot of fun.
But since his then wife just up and moved out of the house on them without any notice and didn't come back, it really affected Brian his 5 year old son in a bad way.
One day I came home for lunch and saw Brian sitting on the stairs on the porch with his arms and fists holding up his chin, obviously hurting because he missed his Mom.
So I took him to the family business to his grandma and told her he ran away from school all by himself and I found his outside of their house.
One day I called Brian on the phone and asked him if he wanted to come over and help me make some chocolate chip cookies.🍪 So he came over. I expected to him that I was not trying to take his mother's place but wanted to be his friend. I said you only have one Mother Brian.

Then when Christmas rolled around, his Dad brought the boy's over to take all 5 of us to pick out the Christmas tree. Brian wanted no part of it. He sat there pouting with his arms crossed.
So I said that we needed him to go with us to be the supervisor and find us the very best Christmas tree on the lot. He liked that idea and went with us after all.
I always tried to be sure Brian felt important to all of us. That really made a big difference in all of our relationship's.
His mother only visited them every so often as she had a boyfriend.

[razelove]

That sounds so sweet, sorry the little guy had to go through that though. His mom sounds like a winner. I'm going to take a wild guess that she didn't pay child support after tearing the family apart either.

Regardless, at least he had his dad, you, and everyone else around to soften that blow.

[sage2021]

@razelove
Thank you for your opinion.
You are right, she didn't pay any child support. No support of any kind from that woman.
I often wonder if Brian remembered me. That would be cool if he did.
I hope he grew up without too much bitterness. He was such a little man for being only 5 year's old.
Yes, he did have his Dad, brother, grandparents living with them, uncle, aunt, and 3 cousins. So he was lucky there.
I didn't have a very big family and I am pretty much alone because they died.
Anyway, thanks for responding to my opinion 🙂

[sage2021]

Thank you 😊 for the MHO 🧁🌷🧁

[Kelly6]

@sage2021
That is sweet and heart breaking

[Account]

No, I wouldn't.

[razelove]

Do you have kids?

[Account]

Νo, I don't.

[Crimsyjo]

My preference is they have kids as old or older than mine but yes I'm cool with it. But at my age I kinda gotta be lol.

If i was younger like twenties or early 30's then no. My preference was they don't. But I'd never say never. For right go preferences can be overcome.

[razelove]

I hear that, if I were dating a woman my age who doesn't have kids, it's likely she can't or won't ever have kids. Which both of those would present issues likely on the same level. My kids are still babies, so it'd be no dice lol

[Crimsyjo]

So you would prefer a younger woman with no kids? Rather than one your age who also has babies same age as yours?

[razelove]

I meant within your preference I fall outside your range. Thinking about it though, I'd likely go for a woman who is younger and doesn't have kids if it was convenient. It doesn't seem realistic to me though. More likely is someone within 10 years of my own age down, 5 up, who does have kids already. Whatever age her kids are isn't as relevant.

[Crimsyjo]

Oh OK yeah I see. Yeah that sounds perfectly reasonable.
My age preference for relationship is 35 to 50. So any guy kinda under 40 seems to have kids under ten years old. My youngest is almost 13. I'd prefer a younger guy than older than me tho cos I have a lot of energy and high sex drive and I don't think a guy nearing 50 is gonna keep up with me. But an older guy will probably me more free kids wise.

[razelove]

Yeah, I've noticed women don't really decrease on the sex drive or ability to back it up as long as y'all exercise. The time to make good on that is tough as hell if there are really young kids in the picture though. Besides sex just having the time and energy to get out of the house and do something with other adults can be tough with elementary school kids.

[Crimsyjo]

My oldest is 18 with her boyfriend of 19 who sleeps over. So I'm free to go off a lot if the opportunity comes. I'm ready to give a guy a lot of time and attention. That's why I want him to be able to spend time with me too and go away on short breaks. If he has small kids that might not be possible.
I can adapt tho. And if he's a great guy he won't always be tied to young kids. So I have a preference whilst remaining open minded and adaptable.

[Crimsyjo]

What about from your POV? a lot of guys don't want a woman with kids if under 35. I think over that men kinda accept it. But it's tougher for a man cos most single dads don't have kids living with them where most single mums do. So kids are much more part of the package. Is that what puts a lot of guys off?

[razelove]

I honestly don't know, but it sounds right. In general men lose money and women lose time (in both cases if they care about their kids). My case is a little unique as I am still married, and can be polygamous, I just choose to be monogamous as I have all girls and don't want them to have a skewed view of relationships growing up.

The time is certainly a factor on my end if something falls into my lap and I want to pursue it. My wife and kids take precedence, so there's very little opportunity for anything new to become significant.

[Crimsyjo]

Tjay sounds complicated...

[mandyfire98]

Yep I would

[razelove]

Is that something more recent as you've gotten into your mid twenties, or a possibility you've always kept out there?

[mandyfire98]

As I get a bit older and financially stable. When I was in my early twenties I actually still had a thing with a guy who had a daughter.

[4ngelic]

i wouldn't, too young to be a stepmom

[razelove]

I won't ask about your age, but at any age that's a legitimate preference to not want to jump into.

[Little_Bumblebee]

No, I wouldn't date a man with kids.

[razelove]

We all have our preferences. There are legit a lot of sacrifices with kids as well. Like I love my kids so much, but man oh man do I miss having motorcycles and big dogs lol

[Little_Bumblebee]

Well, to each their own.

[Kelly6]

@razelove Yes for sure

[razelove]

Thank you for your answer

[Kelly6]

@razelove
And dated many guys with kids

[Smashingdoozy]

I would yes 😊

[razelove]

Do you have kids out of curiosity?

[Smashingdoozy]

I do not, but I can't have any of my own so I would like to adopt in future and bonus kids would be great

[razelove]

Gotcha, I only know one woman who went the whole IVF route, and my god, the expenses and pain involved with that made me think if I had problems like that I'd probably adopt too.

[Smashingdoozy]

Yeah my issue is I can't actually carry. I'm not really interested in surrogacy especially when there's already so many kids who need homes