Would you ever date someone with kids?

Question

I would never, ever do that

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

why do you ask if you don't care yourself?

yes I do, we are married and she had kids with X, I had none. Maybe it's for certain personality types, trainings. The kids adapted very well and quickly. They just need to know they are cared for and the rules. It may be for people who have hangups... emotional or physical... that prevent them from forming their own. I had my emotional hangups which I uncovered, too late.

There are cases in nature where other animals adopt other animals and even different species. I find that to be "good" natured to extend... love, consideration... beyond ones own blood line... to others, greater humanity. Realizing, family is unique though and it's creating extended family. This may be why I responded to "Christ" so well.. e. g. he aimed to greater body of humanity from the fragmented version. That said, there is no replacement for family... for committed support to each other, that takes even more work to build when not blood line. But lets be honest as well, even within blood lines, it can be a mess... so nothing is perfect.

They are their own people and unique and you just learn to roll with the situations to make a good impression for their life, give them something of value, be a parent. There can be complexities with X's, with discipline and parenting. In this case it works well. Having existing kids makes things easier... you see what you've got. New babies... you don't. I was challenged with my wife's kids at first, I didn't understand them. Now that I've spent time with them, they are really interesting and unique people, very smart, very talented. neat little people. I "get" them. It's a joy to see them grow.

I think there's plusses and minuses like everything in life... and that "mr wonderful" you find may change your view. I know of multiple people who either took on others kids or adopted. All good stories so far. The idea of adopting has come to our mind since we have extra capacity, there's needs, and I don't have kids. But I'm hesitant as well.. gets harder when older, less energy.

@midnightmoon05

BigManSAB · Accepted Answer

Fuck no………life is hard enough as it is. I’m gonna make it even more difficult for a kid that’s not mine?

CrazyGirl2 · Accepted Answer

I may sure at some point in my life? Not at THIS point, but yeah if I met the right guy and he just happens to have kids, sure why not? Besides, it would give me the perfect opportunity to see how he is with his children, does he play with them, is he patient and kind? Is he paying his child support on time? Does he question the kids about “mommy’s private life” Because that would be a HUGE turn-off! Likewise if he wasn’t paying child support, or was playing games as to when its sent out every month, that too would speak VOLUMES about his character!

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

Nope.

I'm childfree. I do not want kids, ever.

It would be very unfair and cruel of me to date someone with children. I wouldn't be the person the parent OR the kids deserve - someone who will love them all, and want them all.

I might consider dating someone with adult children, but at my age I'd rather just date someone similarly childfree.

I'll be a friend, but I will not subject children to a parental figure who doesn't want them. I know what that's like and the cycle ends with me.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I do not have a problem with a guys kids but I do have a problem with a guy who abandoned the mother of his children for selfish reasons or chose to impregnate a woman he does not love or respect.

Whatever2929292 · Answer

If it is a woman who just sits around sleeping with men and having children then no.

If there was a woman who was married as WAS cheated on (not that she cheated that is a red flag) or was abused and divorced and had children then yes I would.

If she just had one child from someone she was not married to then I would date her.

If she had a child because she was raped then yes I would date her

REALLY REALLY depends on the woman and who she is and who she is now though.

DaveJord · Answer

Yeah, I do currently, but her kids are like 17 and 16. So its not a big deal, and she spends most her time at my house on the weekends and I have made it clear that I don't really want or am looking for getting involved with her kids. And she completely understands that, because previous men in her life have not be so hot with kids, and she would rather keep her man separate from them. But again she can really only do this because of their age.

If they were like younger than 12 to 15 I would say probably not.

Jabberjaw · Answer

Not exclusively. No matter how much a girl tries to convince herself otherwise. Deep down she's looking for a man who can be a father figure for her child long-term and take care of her.

Like maybe if she was a widow I might consider, but it's a very particular set of things I'd need in place to consider it.

The biggest problem is that I would need her to put me first and most single moms would just not do that. Which I get. But she's not getting my commitment without it.

If I'm to begin raising another man's child as if were my own I'd need more investment from her upfront. I would want both to have a child of my own with her, alongside being able to discipline her child as I see fit without needing her approval

Which is why I said she has to put me first, because she has to trust my authority and that I am looking out for the best interest of her and her child as my family. If she can't do that, then it's a no for me

Moose304 · Answer

Let me tell a story of a very good friend who has 6 daughters. One of his daughters today is a Surgeon in her mid-30s. She has two children I think they are 5 and 3. She also was married to a snake that cheated on her many times. My friend told me he has often cautioned her that she is NOT looking for a father, but a husband. He also told her to not hold it against a man if he prefers to not be a stepdad. I feel the same way. A person should tell that single parent their position at the beginning. I know many men that have married single moms and are living a great life. I do caution men to make sure you know why she is single. This same advice applies to the ladies. If they are a cheater RUN for the hills! You can research my comments about how I feel about cheaters.

Hairylegs222 · Answer

I have, but never again for many reasons.

Found it weird how I was involved with someone else's kids. It was very challenging to have alone time with those exes. A lot of time together was decreased because of the kids. Sex or sexual moments would get frustratingly interrupted. Meeting the kid's dad was extremely weird for me and awkward each time. Being involved at all with the kid's dad was extra baggage I didn't want. The kids looking up to me like I'm their new dad was unsettling and weird. I was partially her priority because of the kids.

Anonymous · Answer

Been there. Done that. Will never do it again... unless the kids are grown, out of the house and truly on their own.

Here's the reality when you date someone with minor kids. When I dated women with kids, here were their priorities:

1) her kids
2) her
3) you

That was on a good day! You have to constantly prove that you are worthy to be accepted into the fold. Your needs and desires are at the bottom of the list... not to mention that you must factor in and maintain a relationship with the kids... and if you don't like them, or they don't like you... or their dad has a problem with you, it's time to go. I will never do that again!

Kaneki05 · Answer

Reason why I broke up with someone. I didn't care they were older but I did care they didn't tell me they have kids. If they told me from the start then I would of not been interested or maybe still would but I would be aware of such deal.
Personally I doubt I would date someone with kids but I don't know.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I have and would, if he is a responsible father then that is a bonus point.

At the same time, it wouldn't be my first choice, but I'm not about limiting a potential dating pool, as the older one gets the smaller it gets to begin with. Why eliminate a bunch of really good people simply because they have children?

HelloSofi97 · Answer

Well, past 28 it's to be expected to run into people that have kids... so, I wouldn't discard them without knowing them. However, if I were to choose... I'd prefer to be with someone without kids or someone that's a single parent and doesn't have the ex around (avoid drama).

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Yeah I would.

i think under 25 people can view life differently.

Then however they start seeing the reality of the real world, as friends divorce and have kids etc, knowing that their friend is still lovely, handsome, hot etc and a great parent.

Life is usually not black and white, and it’s not about saying never, as surprises are always around the corner.

Star_88 · Answer

Eww, no! That's a living nightmare.
If someone wants, they should be prepared to always be in second or third place in terms of priority. Kids will always come first, let them enjoy with kids unless they're willing to put you first (which is very rare).
I hate people who treat their partners as a slave to look after their kids equally.

Squaresquirrel · Answer

The only way I would do it, if we were both 40+ and he would have grown up kids or at least in college.
The other possible scenario is if he is a widower and I would be ready to have kids.
Otherwise he would always have a connection to the mother of his child and I don't think I want to deal with that.

ohshee · Answer

Of course . Most women that have children they are a single mom and they're doing the best they can to raise their kid the best way they can so that means more likely that they had their shit together and is working her butt off to raise her kid the best way she can like I said that just means they got your shit together and that's a good woman to have

integrale77 · Answer

My girlfriend has a son when I first got in contact with her she was honest about it and I had no problems.

At my age I decided I'm probably going to be asking the impossible to find a woman who hasn't got at least one kid. She has been great at easing me into having a kid around and understands I need to learn from her a bit.

AviatorTom · Answer

At my age now, and the fact that I have an SO with adult kids, No.

When I was younger and single, sure why not. She could be a widow or the victim of a bad marriage that ended in divorce. Besides, I've always liked kids, so why not be a potential step-father to them.

AFretiredTXn · Answer

I. met and dated for about 6 months a girl with a 4 mo old baby (when we met) She was a divorcee. We were married 7 months after we met.

We have now been married for 48 years.
We have 2 other children together.

It doesn't have to be a bad situation, if you are in love.

Seinna · Answer

It's unlikely because I want a few of my own and children are expensive, but it's still possible. That is only if he actually cares about them. I'd never be with a man who abandoned his children from his previous relationship.

dustybiker · Answer

For some life falls apart when you are middle aged. You lose a partner to divorce or illness and either start over or don’t and live alone. Finding someone you click with without kids would be wishful thinking and or slim pickings.

sunflower00 · Answer

No, I don’t want kids in the future so I feel it would be unfair to the children. They would deserve someone who could be a wonderful stepmother and I would obviously be nice and as loving as I could be, but usually you can pick up on these things.

CompletelyHetero · Answer

No because people who have kids are likely selfish people, they have kids for their own entertainment but don't think about whether the kid wants to be born or not.. most do not but they don't care about that, they have them anyway... Same for people with small houses who have pets and don't care about their boredom and lack of freedom... Very selfish

Lliam · Answer

Sure. I'd date her but I wouldn't consider marrying. I don't want kids around and I wouldn't want to take on financial responsibility for raising them.

Anonymous · Answer

No.. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with single moms.. Or dating them.. I don't want the drama.. Especially if she is the type to alienate the father.. Women like that hate the father more than they love their kids. I also don't want the kids to come to like me, only for me to disappear, don't want to cause that kind of trauma.

Fireguy17 · Answer

I would andi have.
as long as thing between her and her ex are pretty smooth, then no problem.
If there is a lot of drama between them, constant fighting, court battles then no.
I just don't need all of that drama.

__cassiexxx · Answer

I have before it makes me like them more tbh seeing how good they are as a father. BUT it ended badly as he was still sleeping with his baby mama. So no. I wouldn’t again.

crossdressingrihno · Answer

Totally I would hope to have at least on kid of my own though As long as that doesn't bother her and I get along with both her and he kids then I'm totally fine with it

Leshen · Answer

Only if that person was truly someone I felt like I could never find again and they were worth it. That's highly unlikely tho so I'm gonna say no otherwise.

lilaccc · Answer

maybe i do if i'm very sincere love him, but i had to be brave to getting along with his kids.  bcs, a relationship without blessing it means won't last forever.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Yes. Did start to date one before, didn't work out. Now that I have kids, if I were single I would definitely be open to it, especially as I don't want anymore

Amy10223 · Answer

Of course, yes. I think the man I'd date would havwe either no childrne, or children as adults now, not living at home.

RealMarek · Answer

It was the one of the best things i ever did. We’re a great match and we both have kids. We put each other first and don’t undermine each other when disciplining the kids.

Straight2thepoint · Answer

Depends what is the other person bringing to the relationship that would cover their part. If it's that person is looking for a easy way out of responsibility and find a well adjusted person for personal gain. Move on.

melanieeeB · Answer

Right now? Probably not, in a few years? I honestly don't know

Berethor · Answer

No, I am not that desperate, she bring too much baggage with her.

shaysh87 · Answer

personally i wouldn't. but if I were a single mom with kids, i would date a single dad with kids.

MCheetah · Answer

Never. I'm not trying to change the diapers of some other man's kids.

Dinklex3 · Answer

Nope. I don't like kids, and it's messy anyways.

FriendlyDrugDealer · Answer

Not really my thing but it’s possible just high likely

Gibbons44 · Answer

Yes. Moms with daugters most certainly. Especially the openminded ones who taught their of age daughters sex is to be enjoyed, including with mommy and her boyfriend/fuck buddy.

bolverk · Answer

If the woman had lost her husband through illness or an accident I'd consider it, but if she is a single mother through not using birth control then I would not consider at all.

IsoUser · Answer

Why wouldn't I've considering that I have and done before, I think that the thing of it is with mom until she trusts you, she never wouldn't with her kids that's for goddam sure at this point they are both so blistering I want nothing to do with it.

geonator · Answer

I never have so maybe I don't know what exactly the cons are, but the way I see it now is that while I don't think the pros outweigh the cons, the pros column isn't empty. I'd consider it but be more careful with it

DaySpring · Answer

I don't know tbh. anything is possible but I prefer not to logically speaking

exitseven · Answer

I used to say that I never would but now that I am older I would date somebody that had older kids maybe high school age.

Nigjt · Answer

Yes I would because there is so much fun thing's u can try to get away with while she is trying to hide it you know like touchy touchy or her trying to be very quiet. God Bless

one2many · Answer

No, unless your R in love... stick around till all kids are 18... no pass... I'll tell you a secret... It effects the kids more then to two dumb adults... Who need to act more grown up. ☮️

custard83 · Answer

Why not? I'd rather no diapers, but the kids are innocent in the parents relationship.

Dargil · Answer

An ex-wife with kids by one father, yes. If they reflected "diversity", no.

HighValue · Answer

No. I don't have any and they shouldn't have any either.

DiegoO · Answer

I wouldn't. I don't like kids. The idea of being a father, or even the feeling of been a father or step dad, is not something I want in my life.

ArtemisSilver · Answer

I would consider it, but they'd have to contribute financially enough to make sure everyone has enough space.

Melanin_royalty · Answer

I would date a man with kids if he was hot and had a sweet personality. I'd date pretty much anyone if they were hot and nice. Fat, bald, 2 kids, 3 kids, no kids idc. Will you treat me with respect? Are you good to look at? Then nothing else matters

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Would. But I don't want to meet the kid until much later.

anon1903 · Answer

No, I'm very unfitting to step in a stepparent's shoes

Anonymous · Answer

As a man, no I wouldn't. Men are already at a legal disadvantage compared to women in everything related to reproduction and parenting. The ONLY way I would take that on is with my own children.

Splatmate22 · Answer

No I wouldn't. Sound like good way to get let down.

Sushilove0 · Answer

I have no experience with that. I guess i should do research and see what those who do have exp with it have to say about it

douride2 · Answer

If I' going to be honest I would say most likely I wouldn't date someone with children.

deano1990 · Answer

I wouldn't no, but in fairness I'm not that bothered about having any of my own either.

ManHater · Answer

Having to take care of some dumb shit ass kids and a girl who did not think twice about the stupid ass she opened her legs to and then had kids with.

Would you ever date someone with kids?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Would you ever date someone with kids?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.