Would you date someone that has a kid?

[mishmishayezie]

I wouldn't because there might be drama with the baby mama
And that baby mama will always be in his life

I want to be with someone that I can have our FIRST child TOGETHER

Yes

No

[Browneye57]

Well, you're, but that reason is just ONE of many. And it's not 'might be drama' it's 'there WILL be drama'. It is virtually unavoidable.

Here's a few more for you...
1. When you date a single parent you will NEVER be their priority. EVER. The children will always be more important. You'll even see this in a dating profile, "my kids are my number one priority". Which is fine, but if you do it right, get married, have a successful marriage, and THEN have kids, you remain the number-1 priority to your spouse. For without the spouse you have a broken family. Single parents have a 'broken family'. It's NEVER ideal.
2. You will NEVER have any authority of the the step children. EVER. You'll never have last say, you will always defer to the bio-parent or the ex.
3. No matter what effort or work you put in to stepping you will NEVER have sufficient appreciation or gratitude from either step children or their parents. EVER.
4. And the ex - if they are still in the picture it is ALWAYS drama - you will be forever scorned by that individual. They will NEVER appreciate ANYTHING you do for their child. EVER.
5. Single parents don't have time for you - after working and running a household their kid NEED them. They need whatever time they have left. Trying to date is simply an extraneous past time. It's all a giant fail. No, when the kids are grown and gone then MAYBE they'll be in a place to try their hand in the dating pool again. As long as the kids are at home they have parenting JOB to do - they own at least that to their kids.
6. Children of single parent homes don't need a stream of strange men or women, dates of their parent, coming and going in and out of their life. The parent already has a bad track record, so it's highly likely whomever they date is going to blow out too. The kids really just don't need any more of that AT ALL.
And you'll single parents whine and fuss, become irrationally defensive about this, like they have some RIGHT to entertain another partner, to have sex or love, or whatever they think they 'deserve', which is NOTHING. They've already blown out a family unit so now they think they should try it again? No, just raise your kids - that's your job for 'till they're 18 and ready to run their own life.

[ThirtyEight]

Speaking from personal experience and having lived with a step father who legally adopted me and knowing a couple other friends who were legally adopted the same way. Your opinion is the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever read.

[Browneye57]

@ThirtyEight - According to YOU. But you don't' know jackshit so it's irrelevant. Oh well. All that adoption bullshit is just that - irrelevant. No go away and bother somebody else.

[ThirtyEight]

You are a bitter husk a person. Pity

[Browneye57]

@ThirtyEight - No, everything sounds bitter to you because you look for it. And you don't know anything about me, you just have a need to spout off. It's not even your question. Instead of understanding what I'm getting at you want to talk about YOUR adoption. That makes you just like a girl - that's what they do.
Stating facts and why-for's is not bitter. No, I'm happily married, have been for nearly thirty years, to a beautiful woman, and she was a step for the two youngest. Loved them like their own. They couldn't give two shits about her - she's not their mom. They are both nearly your age.
So get out of here with your sanctimonious bullshit. If you can't handle the truth too bad.
Anyone with a modicum of common sense knows there's not much compensation nor gratification for raising someone else's crotch-fruit.

[Tracey426]

@ThirtyEight He's awful. Ignore him and move along. All his CAPS and self righteousness? Unnecessary. The expert on being a douche.

[Browneye57]

@Tracey426 - An ABSOLUTE expert. You? Ya got nuthin'. LOL
And at 44 ya outta know better. Dumbass.

[Browneye57]

@Tracey426 - Evidently you're an expert on nothing. LOL

[Tracey426]

I can pick out an asshole. Leave this be. It's been a week. Go be old and cranky somewhere else.

[Browneye57]

@Tracey426 - Eat me. You silly fool. LOL

[markscott]

I would date her is she had a kid, but there would need to be compatibility between her child and me, for it to work. I don't mean instant anything, but a feel that we could have a good relationship.

[aicarg]

I'd say it depends on the individual's circumstances. Is he/she still friendly with their ex/is the ex completely out of the picture/would I feel threatened by the ex? My age as well as his, and as well as financial stability is also another factor as at my current age and life situation right now... If things were to get serious with me dating a young father... I'd feel an obligation to be somewhat responsible for that child as well, and I'm not at the stage where I'd be physically, emotionally, mentally nor financially stable to be there/help out if things got serious. Age of the child also plays a factor of how easier or more strained it'd be in forming a relationship with the child.

My mother and step father made things work however in dating one another. However they both were able to relate to each other's situation as they both had children from past relations.

So personally depending on the circumstances, I would say I wouldn't be 100% opposed to it. A friend of mine who had an unplanned child with her ex is now engaged and marrying her now fiancé next month, her son is in mad love with his new soon to be dad.

[MissKittyz]

I personally wouldn't. Just don't want to be with a man who already has kids, just seems too complicated in my opinion. I also want my all my future kids having the same father. Don't want their father having kids with other women. So I feel the Same way as you, I want my man to have his first child with me.

[Tracey426]

In my younger years, no. Now that I have kids, yes. For me, I know how much work it is and what a responsibility it is, something I didn't quite understand until I was a parent myself. I prefer to date guys with kids too, since they get that my life is busy.

[Gothd011]

No. Not knocking anyone but let be realistic. I would have too many convictions against the idea. I will always feel like im second and then I have to impress someone kids? It just too much. The list goes on.

Lucky I never attracted a guy with kids.

[Tohotforyou]

i would because there are a lot of men that would not and the same with women that would not date men with children.

[Anonymous]

No I wouldn't. I don't mind people having a history of relationships, but having a kid from another woman is another story.

[menina]

No, I wouldn't. I don't know how to deal with children and there would always be some drama.

[Farexy]

I'm not mature enough to commit to that. At 20 not a surprise. it's not a dealbreaker but too difficult for the person I am now and the interests I have.

[morimeme1]

At the moment definitely no but if i were like 40 then yes, his kids would probably be kinda grown up and i would be fine with that.

[ThirtyEight]

I would, my birth father left when I was 1. If it wasn't for the man my mom remarried I wouldn't have had a dad at all. He legally adopted me when I was 6 years old and I love him more than my Mom.

[EclipseoftheHeart]

I would consider it if the child was under the age of 5. It's easier bonding with younger kids.

[Ripper_E]

Go on a date with? Sure
Commit to? probably not, unless I fall for her but the kid would have to accept me to.

[LuvAsh]

I'd have ti REALLY like him and there has to be no issues with the baby mama. From what I've witnessed in my life, that kinda stuff can ruin ur life.

[AL1994ind]

I really wouldn’t prefer that but it depends on the situation and the guy honestly
But then yep I’d want to be with a guy that I can have our first child together
Still depends

[smahala1991]

Undecided. I have a nephew and niece, but at the same time I'm not at the level of maturity to really deal with kids because I've been single for years and I'm trying to work on me first.

[NYCQuestions1976]

I'm a full-time single father, so yes I would, if I was going to date.

[ROCKS128]

Nope.
I can't handle that. Handling my own kids would be a big deal, I don't think I can care for others kids.😂

[bklynbadboy1]

I would because there is no Perfect situation no matter what relationship your in they'll always be something the key is to find someone with shit that you can deal with

[Dankster96]

As long as she's not planning to get another one out of me and live off the child support.

[Eridan]

Definitely not. But I'm not looking for a long-term committed relationship anyway right now. Too early for me

[MollyTheOriginal]

If he/the relationship was important enough to me, I would.

[Anonymous]

It's bad enough having those stories shoved down our throats by the hallmark channel. But actually living out one of those stories for myself? No thanks.