Would you date someone that has kids with an ex?

Question

Could be one or two…  They have kids with an ex that obviously didn’t workout

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yeah I would. I really like my guy best friend, he has kids; he’s a great, sweet, caring, loving dad, person, friend and everything all around. He’s a really hard worker too

Andro36 · Accepted Answer

My husband has a kid. I have a great relationship with his ex. You just need to be mature enough

WhatTheHeckkkk · Answer

I would not. I am not of the age or responsibility to consider being with someone who has kids. If I were older, and with my own kids, I would consider it.

wheresmrcunnunglis · Answer

Nope, not one bit. Its too much since it would be much more work to cultivate time alone to get to know each other better due to it, I presume, having to be sectioned off between keeping in contact with the ex to see whats going with their kid, time for the kid, the ex potentially being a bitter one. That might cause a stir once she finds out that their dating and wondering if the parent is taking their kid around their date. I would not want to deal with any of those potentials when there are people who are childless and single that I could go after.

Kaamraj · Answer

Casual dating and sex, yes but anything more serious no, having children is 100% up to the woman. Once sperm leaves the man's body, he is completely powerless to what happens with it. Carrying the fetus to term is completely the woman's decision and should be done preferably when the man has already given his commitment and consent for the same, and the best way in the past and even now to do that is via marriage. There is a difference between single mothers whose husbands died (widowed), were genuinely abusive and proven in court, compared to men who simply were not married and later left. Because the former shows effort to do things right.

Lliam · Answer

Sure, but not if the kids lived with them. I don't want kids around and I don't want to support them financially. Plus, her kids would understandably come first.

The best girlfriend I ever had was 31. She had a rough childhood and then got married and had a son when she was around 17, but she got divorced a few years later. When I met her, the son was in his mid teens and lived out of state with his father and grandparents but came to visit on occasion. She had turned out to be a remarkable woman and I loved her with my heart and soul. We virtually lived together for over a year but, alas, a lifetime together was not meant to be.

GlassTop · Answer

You’ll never be daddy. The child might never respect you as a father. The mother will always prioritize the child. All the hard work and care you put into raising the child will be for nothing, because it’s not your child. Unless you raised it as an infant and all they knew as a father was you, but then that means the mother had just recently had a baby by another man so what went wrong? What happened between them could happen to you. A child is usually what keeps a relationship together, and if it’s not your child then you don’t have that bind. It’s just not worth the time, effort, trouble, and drama. Lets not forget that eventually the father will show up in the picture, or the child will go looking for the father unless they died.

Guanfei · Answer

Can't answer, I don't know. What I know is that it's difficult, because since it's not my kids, I'll have to live with them and support them, if things get serious, without being able to have an opinion on anything about them.
Also, they'll always be a priority for the girl, which means we couldn't even see each other as much as we'd like.
And finally, the relationship with them might make things hard. I could bond with them well, and in case of a break-up, it's hard to know I won't see them anymore. And if they don't like me, even if things go well with the girl, it wouldn't work because she can't date someone her kids don't like.

EmyyWolf · Answer

Absolutely not. I don’t want to have kids of my own. What makes you think I’ll be with someone who is already a DADDY’O.

I’ll find me someone who is free of child expenses who also doesn’t want no brats, who is willing to go on adventures and travel with me. Cause I ain’t doing the whole motherhood parent BS.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I would, even though I've heard others say that Children are the ultimate STD that cannot be cured. Just cause things did not work out, doesn't mean it was their fault. If their spouse cheated on them and they left them over it, should they forever be single as a result of that?

I have dated men with children and it can be awkward for sure, but I think children should stay out of the picture until things get very serious.

Anonymous · Answer

I might, but not likely. There would have to be really good reasons for why she is a single mother and I would have a lot of questions. Did she have sex with a low quality guy and have multiple kids with him without knowing he would be a good and dependable father to her children? Did she have casual flings and end up getting pregnant? Did she leave the father? If so, why? Did she choose to be a single mother and then decide she wants help raising her kids? If any of the above, I have no interest.

Was she widowed? Was the father a seemingly good man who turned bad or decided to leave? If it's something like that, I might consider dating her.

Anonymous · Answer

C - it depends. Half of marriages end in divorce and women file the vast majority of them. A man would be very wise to know exactly what the circumstances were that led to her being a single mother before dating her.

When in comes to parenting men effectively have responsibilities without rights. A man who is considering putting himself in that position would be wise to proceed very carefully, especially if the kids are not even his and the mother already has a track record of divorcing the father and looking for another man to help raise her children.

ryanrhino · Answer

It was definitely an option for me to date a mom when my eldest daughter's mother decided to divorce me. The new love of my life loves being an X-mom (step-mom), as my at-the-time 9 year old called my then-girlfriend (now my wife for over 7 years) at the time.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Maybe but only if its one kid and they must be age 2+ (i need them at least potty trained) but under 7 (where they’re still young enough to give new people a chance). The older the child, the harder it is to win them over and have them accept what you’ve got going with their parent

Adderallman4422 · Answer

I've gone most of my early adulthood playing "daddy" to people's kids, I've shown love care and compassion, until I had my own then I felt true love, it's not easy eathier way because if you take someone else's kids on (with NO parting background) it's hard to know what to do and if you have your own kids it's hard to love someone else's the same, you can't win eathier way with kids, I love my child to bits and I'll tolerate his behaviour because I love him, as for other people's kids I find them annoying little basterds

annabananna · Answer

I’m married to someone who had kids with an ex. The hardest part is always having his ex in your life in some way because she is the most toxic person I’ve ever met. She stalked and made up a bunch of horrific lies like calling his parents and telling them I’m a prostitute but they didn’t believe her cause they know how she is. It has gotten better but I was scared of what she might do for the first few years. She’s pointed guns at people before so I was scared she might go to the next level.

Anonymous · Answer

C: It depends.

If she has recently gotten divorced and/or broken up it’s a big no thanks. Chances are she got knocked up by some abusive/negligent asshole and all of the sudden I’m an attractive “savior” to her since I’m a nice guy. Fuck that and fuck her poor decision making with the previous guy. I hate women like that.

However if she has been long broken up and it’s already an independent and responsible parent who wants companionship and NOT just support i would consider it.

MCheetah · Answer

No. I'm not trying to be a cuck or raise someone else's kids. I don't even want kids myself and a single mother will NEVER have you as a priority in her life. How could she?

menina · Answer

I wouldn't. I wouldn't be able to deal with his kids and I probably would have to deal with their mom too. Too much drama and stress, I don't need that.

jshm2 · Answer

Yeah well, would be from an ex, wouldn't it?

Would be a bit awkward dating someone who has stolen kids from down the road, you should think.

Perhaps you're too shy to say "single mom" or "single dad" kiddo?

whirled_up_girl · Answer

Yes, even when I was younger I dated a guy that had a kid with an ex. At my age now it could be very likely that I would date a guy who had a a kid or kids with an ex.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Not obvious it didn't work out. The ex could have been killed...
Anyway, I'd be a hypocrite to say no as I'd have my two amazing kids in tow. I'm not too keen on a new baby, but open to step kids, if I were ever single

Would you date someone that has kids with an ex?

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