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I am currently 26 Male, my last relationship was at 21, we were so happy together but we lived a hour+ away and our schedules were hectic, we always made time for each other, but there was only a few days out of the week we could see each other, I was okay with that, but she wasn't, she wanted to see me more, and this is why we broke up, I was actually working on changing jobs to find a schedule that worked with hers, but she didn't have the patience. Since her, I have gone out on many dates but my luck has been (either they end up being toxic, liars, different from the person I thought they were, they would just be wanting to hook up, or in some cases they would turn me off, or I would discover they would already have a boyfriend), I have always been a person with good self esteem, confident and not afraid to approach anybody, but now I find myself second guessing everything, and I feel like my self esteem has lowered a bit and I feel like I may never be happy with anybody again, I have always taken relationships seriously and I never been the type to be into hook ups I've always been wanting a real meaningful relationship. I just wish I could find somebody wanting the same thing as me, all I find is people that just only want to hook up, or are very indecisive, or they Don't have their things straight. Also I don't go for the party folks as I'm not a big partier, I typically go for girls that seem very outgoing, funny, calm, sweet and girls that have goals in life
It's been 5 years since I was last in love, I want to find that other half but it seems impossible, it's starting to bother me now what can I do?
Anonymous
(30-35) 
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Are you getting all your dates from dating apps?
I was the same as you, tired of dating life. Girls flaking or it ending after a month its like no one is able to hold a serious rl anymore. I was 2 years single when a female friend of mine and I talked about wanting to travel (We barely talked before). As we didn't want to go alone we decided to travel toghether as friends. I only saw her a friend and didn't think that would change but we started to have deep talks during traveling talking about our goals etc and we had so much in common in that regard. She has been 4 years single making a lot of bad experiences with guys who would promise or talk a lot and then loose all interest after a few months. We kinda started to crush on each other and at the end of the trip we started dating and are now 1,5 years toghether.
Same with my best friend, single for 3 years didn't think he would ever meet anyone who fitts his loaded work schedule and tried dating apps and stuff until he meet a sweet girl on a work event by chance. She works in a different apartment and they first started out as friends with benefits but now are officially toghether since 2 months.
All I am saying is dont stress it, stay away from the apps if you are using them and have open eyes for your sourroundings. They always come when you least expect it.
Thank you very much for the encouraging words 🙏, and I actually haven't tried dating apps, just because I rather meet somebody in person honestly
you're welcome.
I mean you can meet people from dating apps in person too I just find those meetings way more artificial than if you build a relationship in person before
Ok man, I feel your pain for sure. 5 years without finding that real connection again is a long time, especially when you were so happy in your last relationship. But don't lose hope - the right person is out there, you just gotta keep putting yourself out there to find her.
A few things that might help - first, don't stress too much about it. Easier said than done, I know, but the more desperate you seem the less attractive you'll come across. Stay confident like you said you used to be.
Second, really assess the kind of girls you're going for. Maybe try expanding your types a little - don't limit yourself if you think a girl looks promising. And pay attention to red flags earlier if things start seeming off.
You could also try some new activities or hobbies where you're more likely to interact with like-minded singles. Take a painting class, join a kickball league, whatever your interests are. Even volunteering is a good way to meet worthwhile people.
Online dating can work too if you do it right. Have some solid pics, write an honest profile showing your good qualities. Be selective with matches.
Most of all, just keep focusing on you. Keep improving yourself and making yourself someone an awesome girl would want. The rest will follow, bro. Don't lose hope - she's out there waiting to meet you too!
Thank you so much for the kind words and for the motivation, 5 years has been long, and for the longest I have been okay being single, but it just started catching up to me as of late
No problem man, we've all been there. It's totally understandable to start feeling it after so long. Being single is chill for a while, but eventually you want that companionship and intimacy, you know?
I get it, it's easy to let doubts creep in. But nah bro, don't go thinking there's something wrong with you or that you'll be alone forever. You sound like a really solid, relationship-oriented dude. Just keep doing you and putting yourself out there genuinely.
Maybe try some new hobbies or activity groups too, could be a cool way to meet someone with similar interests outside the typical scenes. Plus keeps you busy and happy in the meantime which is attractive.
And don't stress so much about "finding the one", just live your life. I've found the best connects happen organically when you're not trying so hard. Stay positive, stay social, stay open. She's out there man, have faith!
You got this. Now c'mon, let's play some ball or something to get your mind off it for a bit. No use sweating the small stuff. Your person will show up when the time is right, just you wait.
I'm a girl and I have been in a similar situation before where it took my years after my first relationship to date again. I had my first boyfriend when I was 20 and my heartbreak from it was so devastating that even when I tried to go out on dates with a few guys in college who asked me out, I showed no romantic interest in them because I realized that perhaps I am still healing. I believe that you are experiencing dating fatigue and its best to stop dating for awhile and just focus on yourself and finding inner peace. Take a break from dating. You are only 26 and still young. You'll have plenty of opportunities but at the same time. Also learn to be content by yourself, so that you won't feel too disappointed if you end up not finding someone. Despite all the challenges and hardships of dating, don't succumb to bitterness and all these negative gender wars online. Never let go of your values and your ability to continue to believe in love. I won't give you hope that someone will eventually come in your life. You can't control whether or not a woman will someday want to be with you, you can only control what makes you attractive. Perhaps start going to the gym but also continue to be kind. I personally believe on the universal Law of attraction where like attracts like. When you are ready, you can continue to date again, but know that the dating world is hard for men so always take a break in between and find time to rewind and self care.