When you are in the early stages of talking to someone through dating app, do you expect to message daily?

[Anonymous]

And if yes, around how many msgs a day?

Yes

No

[OlderAndWiser]

If I was using a dating app (and I have done so several times in the past,) I message only long enough to suggest to a lady that we talk on the phone as soon as she feels comfortable with that, and I give her my phone number. Usually, within a few days, we are no longer texting but we are having real voice-to-voice conversations. And, after a few phone calls, I tell her that I am ready to meet in person as soon as she feels comfortable with that. And usually within a week, we are seated at a restaurant, enjoying our first date.

Texting is a horribly inefficient means of trying to develop a relationship and I often wonder if the people who text so much are using that as a means of delaying their meeting and facing the challenges of a first date.

[Tanntoned]

You seem like a great guy to date. Tell your parents thanks from me. ;)

[OlderAndWiser]

@Tanntoned I'm just a regular guy who has learned from his mistakes, and I try to always follow the Golden Rule.

[OlderAndWiser]

I do appreciate your kind words!

[Tanntoned]

Don’t be modest. You are far from regular. And then from your mistakes to make positive changes for your future is mature and opposite of regular these days. By the way, how is dating for you these days?

[OlderAndWiser]

@Tanntoned It was great until December 15, 2020, when I met Helen. She was living 80 miles away from me but I went to see her every weekend and we became exclusive. Then she moved to my hometown and started living with me in August 2021. In March, 2023, we returned to the restaurant where we had our first date, I proposed, and she said "yes." We were married on April 27 this year, I am very happy to have her in my life, and to be here to help her with her life.

[Tanntoned]

Good for you both!! Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

I don't EXPECT it. But I do think how often a person messages is kind of emblematic of their interest. We all know why we're there (this is one of the reasons many women hate dating apps. They have no deniability😆). You either want to make the person you're talking to a priority or you don't.

[Minky17]

I expect a text message informing me of the date arrangements. I don't care about good morning/good night texts - I'm looking for action steps.

I can't get to know someone over text because that leads to misinterpretations the way I communicate. I prefer in person verbal conversations so I can see body language and go from there.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Considering the severe constraints there already are on such goal oriented apps, I really think using less rules is better, less pressure inducing for an already pressuring enviro.

[DannyUk2017]

Is important to message them/talk, so you can see/know about the person as much as you can... not after is Too Late!

[paledreams]

I just become the central part of their universe - initially - lol yet I'm dreaming clearly lol expectation versus reality and mine is first answer lol 😆😂

[paledreams]

*I'd expect to become* lol

[paledreams]

A handful of a dozen or more 😆😆😆😆 depends

[slatyb]

I don't message except to set up the first date. It's a waste of time.

[Luopio27]

I tend to just arrange a date. There's more aithentic shit face to face over any other means!

[LiamJHayden]

I will never understand the "early stages of talking" stuff. I engage and if there is potential, I ask her out.

[Likes2drive]

Yes usually since you’re trying to get to know someone

[noohair]

This can get complicated finding the right balance.

[b9game]

It really depends on the vibe, but I generally appreciate consistent communication, so daily messaging is nice if it feels natural.

[SugarSugarplum]

Apps are for hookups. I never used one.

[Anonymous]

People really use dating apps?

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes. One message per day (minimum).